I love my Dad, but my husband and I have had it with his drug addiction. We were letting him live with us to help him out. He relapsed again, so we kicked him out. Now I can’t bring myself to take his calls or talk to him. How can I be there for him while setting limits for myself?
Setting limits is necessary when dealing with an addicted family member, so you needed to kick him out if he was disrupting your own family life. Don’t allow yourself to go down the path of feeling guilty over that one, nor over not taking his calls for the time being. You sound angry, and rightfully so, if his pattern has been to relapse “again”. That said, I’m sure you realize that relapse is a part of addiction, so expect more relapses on his journey toward recovery. In trying to be there for him, start with deciding on your personal limits. Make your own health and well being your number one priority. This is tough stuff you’ve been dealt!
Unleash your Personal Power!
Ask yourself these Life Coaching questions:
- What boundaries do you need to set in your relationship with your Dad?
- What time frame do you set for yourself to start implementing these boundaries?
- What can you do to support him that will not leave you feeling “put-out”?
- What does he do that makes you the angriest?
- How can you minimize your involvement in that part of his life?
- What do you have to do to take care of yourself in this situation?
Do you have an addicted family member, and what have you done to cope?
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Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your questions on Relationships, Health, Careers, Sexuality and Self Care. No question is off limits! She gives her opinion, then partners with you by submitting Life Coaching questions that will help you move toward health and happiness in your life. Email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com