My girlfriend and I take turns doing the dishes. She doesn’t stack the dishes in the washer correctly and they don’t get clean. How can I tell her without losing my dish partner?
This sounds like a classic case of “my way is the right way” and “your way is the wrong way” in a relationship. I’m right and you’re wrong. This makes me chuckle because after I married my husband I had to get over feeling like he was stacking the dishes in the dishwasher the wrong direction. Truth is, he wasn’t, he’s just left-handed! So, while his way seemed backward to me, it was the “right” way for him!
Ok, if the dishes really aren’t getting clean, and you aren’t being either OCD, or a controlling jerk about this, you can nicely point out to her how she could do this differently. That said, what I really want to tell you to do is to just let this one flush on down the drain. Let it go dude! Who says your way is the right way? Are you the dish cop? What will you learn from just letting this one go? Try these on for size: acceptance of others and of a different way of doing things; less tension in your relationship; not getting labeled a controlling jerk? So…just plan on rewashing a few dishes, or picking a few dried on crumbs off the plates…I bet you’ll reap the rewards in your relationship outside the kitchen once the dishes are done!
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- How could you grow as a person by letting this go?
- If you try and tell or teach your girlfriend how to do this differently and she doesn’t catch on, what will you do then?
- At what point will you be willing to accept your differences?
- Is this battle worth the tension it could cause in your relationship?
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Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your questions on Relationships, Health, Careers, Sexuality and Self Care. No question is off limits! She gives her opinion, then partners with you by submitting Life Coaching questions that will help you move toward health and happiness in your life. Email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com
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