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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Hurt Husband Watches Porn?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Hurt Husband Watches Porn?

I caught my husband watching porn on his computer.  I was very hurt.  Am I not good enough for him?

Men and porn.  Let’s start with the research.  Men are hard-wired to look at porn yet only 26 percent routinely do and of those 5% have a problem with it…from WebMD.  Assuming that your husband is not one of the problematic viewers, and that he is still interested in you sexually, this is one of those issues to chalk up as “men will be men”.  Men are visual creatures and their biology, a.k.a. “hormones”, set them up to crave the brain feed they get with sexual excitement.  It has to do with their always needing to be ready to propagate the species.

Talk with him about how this makes you feel.  If you have a strong religious belief that it is a sin to watch porn, this will be a particularly distressing issue for you.  To honor your sensibilities, he may even agree to quit watching porn, but, (and this is a BIG butt!) don’t be surprised if he doesn’t totally quit but just goes underground with his viewing.  Bolster your resolve to have a frank discussion on this topic…it may open the door to improving your sex life and intimacy.

Whatever you do, don’t let your man’s biology leave you feeling hurt and not good enough.  Besides, he doesn’t want a skanky porn star!  He wants You!  The mother to his children, the person who loves him and still finds him sexy regardless of the pooch around his middle, his thinning hair and all his imperfections!

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~

  • What are the issues, if any, with the sexual relationship you have with your husband?
  • Where will you find your personal power woman who braves this difficult conversation?
  • How will you remain open to honoring him as a man while honoring your need to feel loved and respected?

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Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Triggering Old Wounds
  • Stepson with ADD Affecting Marraige
  • Work Hard but Can’t Get Ahead
  • Men and Toilet Seats
  • Male Pride Affected by Illness

 

Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA