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50 Shades Of Grey, Kinky Makes It To The Movies

50 Shades Of Grey, Kinky Makes It To The Movies

If you haven’t yet read this steamy, sexy, erotic novel that introduced its readers to the BDSM lifestyle, all I can say is, “What have you been waiting for?” “The movie?” Well, wait no more as 50 Shades of Grey the movie is out this Valentines Day! British author, 48 year old Erika Leonard who writes under the pseudonym E.L. James, has described the “Fifty Shades” trilogy as her “midlife crisis” saying, “All my fantasies in there, and that’s it.” Erika shared her fantasies all right, and took millions of us along for the ride with sales now exceeding 100 million worldwide. In the books, Anastasia Steele, the nerdy and bumbling beautiful young college graduate has a chance meeting with the uber successful, young business prodigy Christian Grey. Grey, with his millions, sensual good looks and mysterious persona to go with it, is every woman’s fantasy. Women can’t keep their eyes off of him, and their lustful thoughts from wanting him, but his detached demeanor has prompted rumors that he is gay. The media has never captured a picture of him on a date. There are no date pictures of Grey, he doesn’t “date”, and he doesn’t “make love”, he just F***s, he F****s hard…and off to the “Red Room of Pain” the novel takes its readers. Before spending intimate, romantic time with Grey; excuse me, in keeping with the novels I mean to say, before spending time F-ing with Grey you will need to sign a NDA, Non-Disclosure Agreement; and, before spending time in the “Red Room of Pain”, you will need to sign a contract spelling out what your “hard” and “soft” limits are. “Hard limits” in BDSM are what you will not participate in within the confines of this form of sexual role-playing. Playing “Hard” is Grey’s preference, but oh,

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5 Steps To Achieving Goals

5 Steps To Achieving Goals

No one wants to set goals, only to fail at meeting them. Worse, no one wants to deal with the self-loathing and disappointment that comes with not ever tackling those things you want to, and need to, get done. Follow these 5 steps to bolster your chances for success at achieving the goals you set for yourself. 1. Set one goal at a time Few people can juggle multiple goals or ideas at once, so set yourself up for success by focusing on achieving one new goal at a time. Prioritize what it is you want to, or need to, accomplish first. Focus in on that goal, and place the other goals you want to achieve on your “to do later” list. 2. Write down your goal There is something almost magical and mysterious about why it is that when we write something down, we give it more of our attention. Maybe it’s that the process of putting our goals in writing makes us feel like we’ve made a promise to ourselves? Maybe writing it down feels like we’ve made a “contract” with ourselves? Whatever the psychology of why this works, writing down your goals improves your chances of successfully achieving them. 3. Tell a friend The concept of having an “accountability partner” is one of the basic strategies for Life Coaching. A powerful part of our human nature is to not let someone else down. This concept helps you achieve your goals as, when you tell a friend you’re going to do something, you don’t want to have to go back to them and tell them that you either didn’t get started or didn’t even try. The Life Coach cheerleader in me believes that if you try, you will succeed! So, tell a friend and get started! 4. Take

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Happy New Year To My Talk Radio Show Listeners And Callers!

Happy New Year To My Talk Radio Show Listeners And Callers!

Dear Listeners and Callers, Recently, one of the callers to my radio show asked me why I became a helping professional? Honestly, I stumbled over the answer. Why? Because the question felt to me like asking an adult when it was that they decided to quit crawling and start walking. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I’ve always felt like a helping professional. It gives me the greatest joy to help others and because of that I feel it is my privilege to connect with my callers on my radio show. I feel honored that they choose to spend a piece of their day with me. No matter where they are at, or where they come from in life, when we connect on a deeper, soul-level, I feel that something bigger than either of us unfolds. In the unfolding, magic happens. Hearts open. I find it very humbling. The creed that I follow with my work is to accept that each of us is on our own, unique journey. It is never my place to judge. Only to accept, support, encourage and empower. If, in the process of Life Coaching for a talk radio show, I can impart some wisdom gleaned from my own training and life experiences, so be it. However, I often come away feeling that I have learned and gained so much more from my callers than they ever could from me. As we head in to this New Year I want to thank my listeners for following my show. I especially want to thank my callers, who have given me so much. Sharing this part of my life with my listeners and callers is a great honor and privilege. Thank you. May the New Year bring you and yours happiness and blessings. ~Joan

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A Doctors Near Death Experience, Proof Of Heaven

A Doctors Near Death Experience, Proof Of Heaven

When a man of science finds reason to believe there is a God and Heaven, it breaks barriers. Scientists want facts. Believers embrace mystery. When the two meet, it is often a battle of wills as to who is right and who is wrong, with the ultimate battle being the debate over whether or not God and Heaven exist. As a neurosurgeon, Dr. Eben Alexander fell in to a coma after contracting a very rare bacterial meningitis. He writes about his experience in, “Proof of Heaven: A Doctor’s Experience With the Afterlife.” While laying in a coma for seven days, the bacteria were eating away his brain until the “human part” of his brain, the neocortex, was inactivated. Although there is no scientific explanation for how the part of his brain he calls his “conscious, inner self” was “alive and well”, it was in this state that Dr. Alexander “journeyed to another, larger dimension of the universe: a dimension I’d never dreamed existed and which the old, pre-coma me would have been more than happy to explain was a simple impossibility.” The new world dimension Dr. Alexander described is one of mystery and revelation. The revelations contained a message of three parts, and a universal message for all. He tells of how in this state of consciousness he found himself in a place of clouds. “Big, puffy, pink-white ones that showed up sharply against the deep blue-black sky. Higher than the clouds-immeasurably higher-flocks of transparent, shimmering beings arced across the sky, leaving long, streamerlike lines behind them.” He wrote that, to call them “birds” or “angels” would not do justice to the beings themselves. They were more advanced. Higher forms. As the creatures soared along, they made a noise that was like a glorious chant. It was as if the

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Good Cop, Bad Cop

Good Cop, Bad Cop

One job I never wanted for my sons was to be a policeman. I told them so, and I’m thankful they chose other career paths. As a mother, I wouldn’t sleep at night knowing they were placing themselves in danger. Our police risk their lives every day protecting us and upholding the laws. They deserve our respect and admiration, but, as my friend who is a member of our local police force tells me, morale is low. Public perception of police is at an all time low in the wake of national media reports and national protests centered on racial profiling and police brutality. Yes, we do have mostly good cops doing a good job for the citizens, but there are also some bad cops out there. Cops that, for whatever reason, take the powers entrusted them too far. One should expect to find a small percentage of “bad cops” in the ranks. Every profession has its rogue individuals. You don’t have to look hard to find errant Doctors, Lawyers, Celebrities, and even Clergy. Yet, we need to be mindful that the majority of the people we look up to are doing good work. If a few bad cops are carrying out racial profiling and police brutality, we shouldn’t put our head in the sand or look the other way. We should stand up for just treatment of all our citizens, regardless of their race. Yet, it is easier to make a case for unjust racial profiling or police brutality if the victim is a law-abiding citizen who has done no wrong. Doug Glanville, a retired Major League Baseball player and ESPN correspondent, wrote, “I was Racially Profiled in My Own Driveway”. He was confronted by a police officer while shoveling snow in his affluent, mostly white, neighborhood in an

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Six Steps for Deciding “When to be Patient” or “When to Take Action”

Six Steps for Deciding “When to be Patient” or “When to Take Action”

Patience can work well for you in certain circumstances, yet in others, it can work against you. Follow these six steps for determining when to be patient or when to take action. 1. Identify your impatience Once you identify the times when you feel the most impatient, you can step back and consider whether or not you have control over the situation at hand. If you don’t, such as when stalled in traffic, patience is called for. No amount of road rage, screaming, yelling, and honking your horn will get traffic moving any faster. When you have no control over the situation, practice patience. 2. Monitor your feelings If you are feeling stressed or anxious, in addition to feeling impatient, identify what it is that is stressing you. If being late on a report at work makes you feel impatient and irritable while waiting in line at the grocery store, practice patience at the store, but also vow to resolve any possible issues of procrastination that may feed in to your impatience in other areas of your life. When outside issues are feeding your impatience, take action. 3. Monitor your thoughts Thinking ahead to all the things you need to get done, when your hands are tied and you aren’t able to move forward, only keeps you in a state of worry, frustration and impatience. If you’re waiting for a package to arrive, fretting and worrying over it will only distress you. When worry and frustration take over your thoughts, practice patience. 4. Look in the mirror Take a serious look at how you appear to others when you’re impatient; if they are calm and in control in a situation where you are impatient, look to identify what is triggering you. Showing yourself as testy, irritable, short-tempered and grumpy is

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Thanksgiving, A National Day of Mourning for American Indians

Thanksgiving, A National Day of Mourning for American Indians

The Pilgrims brought disease, mass murder, theft of land, forced relocation and other injustices. Their arrival culminated in the death of 10 to 30 million native people. At the “First Thanksgiving”, the Wampanoags provided most of the food, and signed a treaty granting Pilgrims the right to the land at Plymouth, the real reason for the first Thanksgiving. Yet, within 20 years European disease and treachery had decimated the Wampanoags. At the time, most diseases came from the animals that the Europeans had domesticated. Cowpox from cows led to smallpox, one of the great killers of the native people. It was spread through “gifts” of blankets used by infected Europeans. By some accounts, the death toll reached 90 percent in some Native American Communities. The National Day of Mourning began in 1970. That year, Frank James, a Wampanoag, was invited to speak at a banquet being held by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts to celebrate the 350th anniversary of the Pilgrims’ arrival. In his speech, he wanted to talk about how the European settlers looted the graves of the Wampanoag. How they took their wheat and bean supplies and sold them as slaves. The organizers wanted him to leave out those facts. Rather than deliver the speech, James and his supporters gathered at Plymouth. There they observed the first National Day of Mourning. Since then, the United American Indians of New England return to Plymouth each Thanksgiving to protest how the holiday has been mythologized. Listen this Saturday, November the 29th, to my conversation with a Native American Tribal Chief and for more on the history of Thanksgiving. “The Joan Jerkovich Show” broadcasts Saturday from 6-8am CST. For live streaming or to listen via podcast go to JoanJerkovich.com. Excerpts for this blog were taken from “Thanksgiving: A Native American View” by

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A Family Member Murder

A Family Member Murder

We see it in the news daily. Stories of violent killings in our communities, in our nation, and on the world stage. While the media focuses most of their attention on the victims and the perpetrators, the families who suffer the loss of one of their beloved family members often go unnoticed. Murder is violent and it is unexpected. It is shocking and brutal. There is no way for a family member to anticipate this trauma, and just by the nature of the crime, it makes grieving as a family much more difficult. Each member of the family will react in their own way to the murder. Once the initial shock is over, some may try to quickly move on with their lives, others will harbor intense feelings of anger and seek ways to avenge the death. There are those who will suffer with feelings of guilt, feeling that there should have been a way for them to prevent the murder. There can be anger toward the victim for having put themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, or to involve themselves with these types of dangerous people who live in a culture of violence. There are the family members who refuse to leave any stone unturned, especially if the murderer remains at large. They will work closely with law enforcement and some even turn to psychics to try and find the killer. Others will try to find meaning in the tragedy by becoming an activist for change. With all the different ways that family members react, it can cause an emotional divide within. Differences of opinion on how to keep moving through this trauma can distance family members from each other. This, at a time, when they need each other most. When a member of the family

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A Talk While High on Heroin

A Talk While High on Heroin

She wasn’t making sense and her words were slurred and garbled. After she talked about her trouble with drug abuse, I asked her if she was high. She was. On heroin. Heroin is the most abused, fast acting and popular of all opiate drugs. Almost immediately upon using heroin, users experience euphoria, warm flushing of the skin, dry mouth, heaviness in the arms and legs, and poor cognition. Cara exhibited poor cognition when she wasn’t really tracking with our conversation. It was disjointed and, to be honest, I almost hung up on her. It was frustrating trying to talk to her. Yes, I was trying to talk to someone in the throes of a heroin high. Other signs of heroin and opiate abuse include: • Shortness of breath • Disorientation • Sudden changes in behavior or actions • Cycles of hyper alertness followed by suddenly nodding off • Droopy appearance, as if extremities are heavy • Constricted (small) pupils Opiate abusers, even those pill poppers who abuse Oxycontin, Vicodin, Lortab and that class of medications, may initially be able to hide their drug abuse, but one sign they cannot hide is the constricted pupils. If you suspect an opiate addiction, one sure sign is if you see that their pupils are small, even in dim light, where the pupils in your eyes would normally open wider. Behavioral signs of heroin and opiate abuse include: • Lying or other deceptive behavior • Avoiding eye contact • Sleeping more • Poor hygiene • Slurred, garbled, incoherent speech • Apathy, lack of motivation • Stealing or borrowing money • Hostile toward loved ones • Withdrawal from family and friends While the above signs can apply to all opiate addictions, those specific to heroin abuse include possession of drug paraphernalia such as needles, syringes,

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Sociopathic Children

Sociopathic Children

“He killed one of our pets and beat our other animals”, said the mother who adopted a sociopathic child. “At the point that he threatened my life and our daughters life and told us how he was going to kill us, I couldn’t do it anymore”. Mich tells her story on my radio show of how she and her husband adopted a 4-year-old boy who from the start displayed bizarre behaviors, and how eventually his behavior became “very scary and violent”. While we mostly think of sociopaths as being adults, sociopathic behavior in children does occur and is a result of antisocial personality disorders. Let’s start with some definitions. The National Institute of Mental Health provides this definition: Antisocial personality disorder is defined by the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual on Mental Disorders, fourth edition (DSM-IV) as “…a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood.” People with antisocial personality disorder may disregard social norms and laws, repeatedly lie, place others at risk for their own benefit, and demonstrate a profound lack of remorse. It is sometimes referred to as sociopathic personality disorder, or sociopathy. According to Mayoclinic.org: Antisocial personality disorder symptoms may begin in childhood and are fully evident for most people during their 20s and 30s. Children at risk exhibit the following risk factors: • Bullying • Conflict with peers, family members and authority figures • Stealing • Cruelty to people and animals • Fire starting and vandalism • Use of weapons • Sexual assault • Repeated lying • Problem behaviors in school and poor academic performance • Gang involvement • Running away from home Although the precise cause of antisocial personality disorder isn’t known, certain factors seem to increase the

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