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Archive for the Dating Relationships Category

Dating Mr. Peter Pan

Dating Mr. Peter Pan

Mr. Peter Pan Never-Never wants to grow up and wants to live with you in his version of Never-Never Land where you are his Wendy (a.k.a momma) taking care of all the adult things he doesn’t have time for. What does he have time for? Hangin with his lost boys. While Mr. Peter Pan’s life is full of adventure and fun he can’t be counted on to take the adult lead in his life, much less be an adult partner to you, so don’t frustrate yourself and expect it. He’s Mr. Self-Involvement who has plenty of time for playing his way through life. He’s like the man my Life Coaching caller talked about who, in her words, “needs constant petting”. He’s Mr. High Maintenance who wants you to take care of him, organize his life, fix his problems, and in general “be his momma”. Dating him is like dating a 12 year old; you always have to be pointing him in the right direction. Do you want to mamma your man? If your man is a Peter Pan you’ll have the sense of feeling more like his parent and less like his partner. You’ll feel frustrated that he never seems to want to advance in his career and instead is complacent with a low level job; his priority isn’t work, it’s play. You’ll find yourself watching from the sidelines while he spends more time, energy, and money on his newer, bigger, better set of toys, than he does on you. He can’t even be counted on to pay his bills because his budget for toys takes precedence; besides, momma will dig into her pocket and pay for those silly adult things. You’ll watch your Peter Pan hang with his lost boys and wonder why he prefers to spend time with

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Crush on Married Man?

Crush on Married Man?

I’m really attracted to my babysitter’s husband to where I think about cheating on my husband with him.  I find reasons to pick the kids up late hoping that he’s home from work and I can see him and talk with him.  He’s like my fantasy guy.  He’s given me no clue that he’s interested in me so why do I keep crushing on him?  Is it because my marriage isn’t great? What would life be without our fantasy men and women?  What woman hasn’t had a crush on some hot celebrity?  What man hasn’t had fantasies about Selena Gomez or Rihanna (Maxim’s Hot 100 #2&3)?  Read from my blog archives about my personal fantasy crush back in the “Magic Mike” days.  My newest muses are Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth….oh, I digress to such pleasurable thoughts…but on with your question… Seriously, having a celebrity crush that we all know is unattainable does not carry the danger of crushing on a married man you see on a regular basis.  While there is no harm in finding someone attractive, when it gets to the point of obsessing about them, or changing your daily routine for a “chance” encounter, then you’re right to start questioning what is going on in your life.  Yes, my guess is that you have allowed this crush to commandeer your thoughts because you are not getting your needs met in your marriage.  Duh-you didn’t need to hear that from a Board Certified Life Coach, that’s common sense.  A good solid relationship allows for those celebrity crushes and infatuations, and poses no harm.  A relationship where your emotional and physical needs are not getting met is at risk for an affair. Don’t get too wrapped up in why you’re crushing on this guy, just acknowledge that you are

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Dating Mr. Peter Pan, Hot Mess; Grieving Family Death

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/11.9.13/11.9.13Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Dating Mr. Peter Pan @ 0:00 Tell me Your Dirty Secrets @ 4:51 No Games Dating @ 24:00 Dating Mr. Hot Mess @ 42:03 Grieving Family Death @ 45:01 Grieve your Own Way @ 59:57 Brought to you by: Hospice of Salina Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home McCall Manor Bennington State Bank

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Taking the “Sex” out of “Ex”

Taking the “Sex” out of “Ex”

Why do people have affairs with their Ex?  Wasn’t there a good reason you broke up in the first place?  My Life Coaching caller “went there” and has lived to regret it.  Her penance?  Her current boyfriend, the one she cheated on, is connecting on Facebook looking for his own revenge hook up. It is said that the number one enticement people have for hooking up with the Ex is remembering their shared history.  I guess this means they remember the good stuff and not the crap that killed the relationship; and it sort of makes sense that you would be attracted to your Ex because they are familiar and caught your eye in the first place.  This is a sort of fantasy-land playing out in real life. There can be the fantasy thought that maybe your Ex has changed, and that all the nasty has magically been erased, and you can start back up with a clean slate.  Or, maybe you have never gotten over the fact that your Ex was your first real love ~ never mind that they destroyed that love with their drinking or abuse or cheating or general narcissism. Here’s a factoid for you:  60% of all hookups with an Ex are where one or both of the parties are married to someone else!  Cheaters-R-Us! Forbidden love and forbidden sex are a real turn on.  The rush of emotions fueled by the feel good chemicals that dump a rush of hormones, endorphins and oxytocin in to your system when you have an affair with your Ex, set you up with a killer cocktail that feels Ooooh-Soooo-Gooood!  But, it’s like that ice cream sundae, with extra whip cream on top, that you know is not on your diet…it sure tasted good going down but now you’re

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Affair with Ex-Why and How to End; Success and Perseverance After Foster Child

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/11.2.13/11.2.13Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Why People Have Affairs with Ex @ 0:00 Relationship Limbo After Affair with Ex @ 6:52 Online Flirtations After Partners Affair @ 21:55 End Affair with Ex @ 41:20 Success After Foster Child @ 45:17 Inspiration to Persevere @ 1:00:51 Brought to you by: Hospice of Salina Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home McCall Manor

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Secrets of Men who won’t get married

Secrets of Men who won’t get married

While the numbers of women who want to get married are going up, men are less likely to want to walk down the aisle. In the past 15 years the numbers of men who do not, or will not, get married has jumped six percent. More and more Men are opting out of marriage and women are asking why. Ladies, here are the dirty little secrets of unmarried men~ Sex: Men today don’t need to marry you to get sex! You know this is true, and I’m all for the equality of women, but the changing societal standards for premarital sex has backfired for women who want to move their relationships toward marriage. Cohabitation: Another change in relationships over the years is the number of couples who opt to cohabitate versus get married. Couples who live together are not as frowned upon as they used to be so ladies, if you want to improve your chances of marriage, don’t move in with the guy. Serial Monogamy: It’s easier for men today to have a girlfriend for a while, enjoy all the privileges of marriage without the civil contract, break up then find another new girlfriend than it is to go through a divorce. Divorce: Multiple sources cite that the number one reason men don’t want to get married is that either they themselves have been through a bad divorce or they have witnessed the grief, bad outcomes and money divorces have cost their buddies. Bromance: Guy love to hang with the guys and they feel like a wife will keep them from this vital part of their social life. Man-Cave: When men live alone their space is their own. They can hang their moose heads in the living room if they want. All too often when they get married they

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Why do good women love bad men?

Why do good women love bad men?

This question was handed to me by a woman in the local coffee shop…There can be many reasons women fall for, and stay with, their bad boys.  Here’s what I’ve gleaned from life and my Life Coaching callers but, ladies, jump in and give us your reasons! Good women love bad men because they… Don’t think they deserve any better Don’t love themselves Have low self esteem Believe more in loving their man than loving themselves Think they can change their man Think their man will change Fear being alone Love too deeply Are very loyal Only see the good Are willing to overlook the bad Are willing to overlook the really bad See their bad boy through rose-colored glasses Are convinced they can’t do any better Have bought in to the message, probably from their bad boy, that they’re not good enough Will stay for the social stature Will stay for the money Enjoy the danger and drama Like chaos in their lives Like to think they can fix their bad boy Grew up with chaos so this is comfortable to them Whew!  That was my “off the top of my head” long list.  Ladies, feel free to add your reasons why good women love bad men!

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Unmarried Men, Getting Back to Dating, Give too Much

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.19.13/10.19.13Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Unmarried Men @ 0:00 42yo Male Career vs. Relationship @ 7:11 42yo Male Looking for Love @ 23:12 Get Back to Dating @ 41:59 Inspiring Woman Accomplished This? @ 45:11 Give too Much of Yourself @ 1:00:51 Brought to you by: Hospice of Salina Martinelli’s Little Italy Girls Scouts Dignity Care Home Protandim LifeVantage Bennington State Bank George Jerkovich Photography Circles of the Heartland Stiefel Theatre Smokey Hill Museum

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Uncomfortable Visiting Home with Pets?

Uncomfortable Visiting Home with Pets?

I’m uncomfortable visiting my girlfriend in her home because of her house pets.  I hate it when her cats rub up against my slacks or paw at them because they leave cat hair and snags.  Then, when I try to be friendly to her dog, it licks my hands leaving me feeling like I need to wash them. I hate this! What can I do besides not ever visit her in her home? This is a tough one because your friend probably doesn’t have a clue that you feel this way, and she would probably feel bad if she did.  People who have house pets consider them part of the family and can be every bit as emotionally attached to their pets as they are their human family members!  Pets can bring such solace, comfort and joy to their owners it’s only natural for their owners to love and cherish their dear pets.  Add to that, a pet will never criticize or judge them and is always happy to see them and its no wonder some people find their pets more enjoyable than their human counterparts! Just as pet owners can have very clean homes with well-behaved indoor pets, the opposite can be true.  Approach this from a practical point of view.  If you do go visit your friend be prepared to wear clothes you don’t mind getting a little pet hair on, or tuck your hand sanitizer in your purse.  Don’t feel that you have to interact with her pet.  Owners are usually very attuned to guests who don’t want to interact with their pets and will accommodate you by steering them clear of you.  If these methods don’t appeal to you and you just feel too uncomfortable, plan to meet your friend at the local coffee shop, and

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Military Fiancé Killed in Action?

Military Fiancé Killed in Action?

I was engaged to a military man who was killed in action 18 months ago and I’m trying to move forward with dating again.  What I’m finding in the dating scene is men who just want a sexual relationship or a one-night-stand but not a real relationship.  That’s not me and not what I want.  How do I deal with this and find men who want a real relationship? So sorry for your loss…getting back to dating has to be tough…but I think you know to not compromise your personal values in relationship.  If you are not in to casual sex, don’t go there and don’t waste your time on those man whores who will sleep with anyone and everyone and carry on affairs with several women at once. I guarantee that if they are willing to quickly bed you they are trailing several other women along as well.  Congrats to you for holding fast to your own values and honoring your self respect. How do you meet men who want a real relationship?  It becomes a numbers game.  To improve your chances at winning in love you need to be in the playing field.  Place yourself in positions where you will meet men.  Think outside the box for new and different places to meet men because if you’re not out and about playing the game, there’s no chance of winning.  Elevate your level of play by paying attention to your physical appearance and approach toward men.  Are those at the top of your game?  If so, head out with confidence and a winning attitude. (Geesh-I think my commentary was inspired by my working next to the radio sports guy!) Believe me when I say that there are men out there looking for the same thing you are, relationship.  How

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