Empowering Talk Radio

Archive for the Dating Relationships Category

Workaholism Ruining Relationship?

Workaholism Ruining Relationship?

My girlfriend is unhappy about how many hours I work.  I’m an entrepreneur with multiple business ventures and keeping track of my businesses and employees does roll over into my personal life.  I’m concerned because I believe this was part of the reason for my divorce.  I know I’m a workaholic, but don’t know how to slow down.  Any advice? Just do it!  You’re the boss.  You don’t have to ask permission to cut back on your 80++ hour workweeks.  The work will still get done.  All bosses have the same number of hours in a day.  Not all successful entrepreneurs work the long hours you do.  Your employees may find out that they are able to make decisions in your absence…yadda…yadda…yadda… If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my years in business it’s that there’s always tomorrow.  As the boss you have complete control over your schedule so take charge of your life!  You know what it is you need to prioritize.  You know where you need to delegate more.  You know where your work habits are inefficient. You know when you’re focusing too much on work at the expense of your personal life.  You know when your butt has overstayed its welcome in your office chair and it’s time to go home.  You know when it’s time to shut off your smart phone…so…just do it! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Are you willing to risk losing another relationship over your workaholic habits? What negative gloom and doom thoughts does your mind conjure up when you do take time off from work? What is the worst that can happen if you turn your smart phone off for the evening?

Read more

Abusive Boyfriend?

Abusive Boyfriend?

My boyfriend & baby’s daddy doesn’t see the emotional & mental abuse he was/is subject to from his parents, his dad mostly. He is now carrying that over into our child’s life. There was a lot of manipulation & control the 1st 3 years of our relationship, by his parents & him. It only gets physical when he is drinking or taking his prescription alprazolam (Xanax). I’m not sure what to do? Just the fact that you’re questioning how this relationship is working for you is the first step toward opening your eyes to your reality.  When you’re living with an abusive person, just as your boyfriend did growing up with abusive parents, sometimes just to survive you close your eyes to the reality of your situation.  It’s called denial.  You don’t see what’s really going on because it’s too painful, or you don’t want to have to deal with it, or you think it will change.  Also, it makes sense that the parenting your boyfriend saw growing up is how he is now treating your child, especially if he doesn’t see it as abusive. Have you talked to him about getting help?  Have you thought about removing yourself and your child from this abusive situation?  Abuse is a very difficult thing to pull yourself away from, especially when you’ve lived with it for so many years.  I get that, and so do the wonderful people who work with domestic violence victims every day in their communities.  Reach out to them and they will help you and support you.  You’re in a tough situation, and while I’d like to tell you to “get out”, I know how difficult that decision can be. As a mother, even if you find “getting out” hard to do for yourself, do this for your

Read more

Tired of being single?

Tired of being single?

I’m tired of being single.  My life is good but I would like someone special to share it with. Thoughts? Go to my talk show archives and listen to the callers, men and women, who have called with this very issue.  There have been so many that I’ve thought I should start my own dating site!  Here’s a synopsis of what we’ve talked about: First, you can’t expect to meet someone sitting on your couch at home playing video games.  You have to get out and meet people, but the most fruitful place to find people who may be compatible with you are introductions through friends and family.  If you make being single look so easy and comfortable, maybe they don’t know you’re still looking? Make sure your friends know you are open to their matchmaking.  Also, get involved in organizations that interest you.  Widen your circle of friends from all walks of life; men and women, single and married.  The more you network and meet new people the more you’re likely to meet someone you’re interested in dating.  The men I’ve talked to about finding women to date liken it to sports.  After a while it’s all a numbers game. My thoughts? Single or not, make your life the best life ever.  I’d be lying to you if I said to hold your chin up because your “someone special” is just out there waiting for you.  The truth is, you may never find that special person for a long-term relationship.  Here’s a way to help feel better about being single. Look around and see all the people you know who are happily single, or happily never married or (worse) in a miserable relationship.  Live your best life, make it your own, and if you want to find someone special you

Read more

Boyfriend Friendly With Ex?

Boyfriend Friendly With Ex?

My new boyfriend has a very friendly relationship with his ex wife and it bothers me.  They get together for dinners out and talk on the phone often, but he assures me its nothing more.  I believe him, but the time he devotes to their friendship still bothers me.  There are no children so I feel like there’s no reason for them to keep in such close touch.  I’ve been trying to be the understanding girlfriend but now that we’re getting more serious it’s starting to bother me more.  Can I ask him to not see her because it bothers me?  My ex cheated on me so I know I’m more sensitive to this possibility. Yes, you can ask your boyfriend to not spend time with his ex, but let me know how that goes?!?  It’s not that this can’t work for you, but you will want to preface your “asking” with some heartfelt conversation first.  Talk to your boyfriend about how it makes you feel when he’s devoting time to his ex instead of you; and how its hard for you to trust because of your baggage of being cheated on; and how, damn-it, you just don’t like sharing him!  Has he invited you along to his dinner dates with his ex?  Have you met her?  Has he told her about you?  How serious is your relationship?  Are you more serious than he is?  Have you had “the (monogamy) talk”? Here’s a good boyfriend test.  If this really bothers you, go ahead and ask him to not see her…at least for a while until the two of you see where your relationship is headed.  A guy who is really serious about you will want to do this for you.  A good guy who will be sensitive and caring of

Read more

Living with Boyfriend, Parents Don’t Know

Living with Boyfriend, Parents Don’t Know

My parents are traveling from out of state to visit me and I’ve been living with my boyfriend for the past 6 months. They don’t know we’ve been living together and my problem is that they would not approve. Not only will they not approve, I’m afraid they’d go ballistic if they found out! They’re planning to stay with me at the apartment. What are my options? Put on your big girl panties, you’re going to need them for this one! Basically, you have two options:  1. Hide this from them  2. Tell them The hard part is going to be deciding which to do, so let’s explore how to make this crucial decision. You know your parents and you know yourself. In true Life Coaching form, I will tackle this issue by asking you the questions. You, and only you, know what your decision needs to be. The questions begin… • What will be gained by sneaking around your truth? • What could be gained by telling them? • Is there a chance this could be a first step toward your parents growing to accept that you as an adult are making your own choices? • How do you handle conflict with your parents? • Are you more comfortable keeping the status quo or living your truth? • Is this personal choice worth taking a stand against the morals of your parents? • How might your parents handle this? • Would telling them totally mess with their heads and screw up their vacation? • Would telling them severely damage your relationship with them? • What does your boyfriend think about this dilemma? • Is he OK with being relegated to his buddies couch while they’re in town? (don’t forget to remove his toothbrush and men’s cologne from the bathroom)

Read more

Sex After Divorce?

Sex After Divorce?

I’m a middle-aged guy who just got a divorce. I just started dating this girl and really want to have sex with her. I’m out of touch with dating, how will I know when it’s time to make my move? Of course you want to have sex with her. Sooner versus later I’m sure. What I wonder is if you see this woman as a potential relationship or just a quick tryst? Answer that question and you’re on your way to deciding when the time is right to “make your move”. If a hook-up is mostly what you’re after, here’s what my social research, if you call reality TV social research, will tell you. While I’m the first to admit that I watch too much reality TV, what I’ve garnered from this socially relevant resource is that by today’s standards you aren’t supposed to even Kiss on a first date. The next thing I’ve learned from reality TV is that even though it’s not OK to Kiss on the first date, it is OK to have sex on the second! I can’t say how many times I’ve heard a reality TV girl act like she has high moral standards as she says, “I don’t kiss on the first date”. Keep watching, and the same girl will then have sex with the guy on the second date! Go figure! Let’s review: First Date = No Kissing Allowed; Second Date = OK to have SEX! Not your grandmother’s code of morality! What I want you to consider from that factoid is that if a girl will sleep with you on the second (or first) date, she will also sleep with the next 30 or 40 guys on the first date as well. Again, ask yourself…are you interested in this woman for a

Read more

Ignored by Girlfriend’s Texting?

 Ignored by Girlfriend’s Texting?

I’m irritated when I go out for dinner with my girlfriend and she’s texting on the phone. Is she being rude or just ignoring me? Sounds like both to me, but she could also have an addiction to texting. Yes, there is such a thing, and it is characterized by the person who has a panic attack when they misplace their phone…for 3 minutes; or they can text with the speed of light holding their phone in one hand and texting with their thumb (I wish I could do that ‘cause it looks so cool!); or they wear the scars on their forehead of always running in to things; or they know it’s not polite to text while at dinner so try to hide it under the table. We know who you are, texting addicts, and the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. What complicates the social mores with texting is that it is completely acceptable for young people to text when they’re hanging out together. They will even text each other messages when they’re sitting right next to each other. It’s their way of communicating and is perfectly acceptable. You need to set your personal limits with your girlfriend. If you feel that she is being rude or ignoring you by texting when you’re out to dinner, talk to her about your feelings and ask that she refrain from texting. Set specific limits to when you find it acceptable for her to be on her phone. If she refuses to respect your personal boundaries with the no texting rule when you’re out to dinner try this…get up and walk out on her leaving her to pay the tab. She’ll either get the message or you may be getting a new girlfriend? Embrace your Personal

Read more

Breakup with Girlfriend Family Love?

Breakup with Girlfriend Family Love?

My family loves my girlfriend. I feel pressured by them to marry her but am thinking of breaking up. We have a lot of history together, like trips with my family, and her being close to my family makes a breakup harder. How can I work this out? This question reminds me of the wisdom of my own parents who thought it best to keep relations with boyfriends and girlfriends casual until the engagement, or, by today’s standards, until the couple is living together. I remember my mother explaining the rationale for this, which was to avoid just the issue you now have. When your parents are more excited about your marrying this girlfriend than you are, it does make it harder for you to break up with her. You are the one who has to live with the wife, not your parents, so if you are “thinking of breaking up” I’m guessing you’ve already passed go and need to plan your exit strategy. The first person who gets the breakup news is, of course, your girlfriend. Yet, since your family seems so emotionally attached to her, I would make them a close second to receive the news. It would also be advisable for you to decide if you want your family to set boundaries with your Ex, or not. After some breakups, some guys are ok with the Ex still having lunch dates with their mom, others want the family to have no contact. If you’re ok with your Ex remaining a friend of the family, it would be a good idea to have them keep their distance for a few months to give your relationship time for a clear breakoff. That way, the Ex won’t be using her relationships with your family members to manipulate her way back

Read more

Tired of Being Single, Dating Losers?

Tired of Being Single, Dating Losers?

When will I find the man of my dreams? I’m tired of being single and I’m tired of dating losers. This question was posted by SuzieQ on my just launched website link for posting an anonymous (Yes! Anonymous!) Life Coaching question for me to answer. Send me your question and watch for my response to post on JoanJerkovich.com and KSAL.com! If you follow my radio show, you’ve heard me do Life Coaching with numerous men and women who are asking this very same question. Looking for relationship is a pressing issue for many single people. To draw from what my callers have shared, many of them are, like you, out there in the trenches trying to find a decent person to share their life with. They’re not as picky as they may be characterized to be, they’re just looking for someone who compliments their personal ideals and values. They’re looking for someone who is self-sustaining (Has a Job!), and is of good character…decent, honest and the like. Of course they want someone they find attractive, but they’re not holding out for runway model or movie star looks. They’re reasonable in what they want, but they’re not finding Mr. or Ms. Right. They’ve tried Internet dating, and networking with singles groups, and have gone out with all the meet-ups arranged by friends to no avail. Yes, I would feel frustrated too…I felt that just writing what I’ve heard from my callers! Patience with finding the man of your dreams can be more easily fostered by making sure that you are living your best life. By that I mean that you are doing the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. Try taking the focus off dating and put the focus on you. How many of us make ourselves our first

Read more

Warning–Relationship Rebound?

Warning--Relationship Rebound?

My friends are upset with me that I broke up with my boyfriend of two years and am already moving fast in my new relationship. They are trying to warn me that I’m just on the rebound but I think I have met my soul mate. Should I be worried that this won’t last since we met so soon after my breakup? Ahhhhh, well-meaning friends. Remind them of their negativity when you and your new boyfriend are married ten years with two kids, OR, be prepared to have them tell you “I told you so” when this relationship breaks up in a couple months. What I’m trying to say here is that there are no guarantees where relationships are concerned. I’ve been known to say that all relationships are a “crapshoot”. crap·shoot n. Slang: A risky enterprise. n. Informal: An unpredictable venture; gamble. I don’t mean to sound so cynical, but there are no guarantees in relationships just as there are no sure bets in life. Alas, there is no clear research on the success or failure of rebound relationships, which are defined as those quickly, entered in to after a divorce or long term relationship. But one thing is clear, popular sentiment is that rebound relationships are doomed to fail. Will they? Not necessarily. While there are no hard fast rules on whether to wait or not before getting back in to a relationship, signs that you may want to wait would include: feeling like you can’t be alone; being willing to settle for someone who’s not good for you but good enough for right now; or your rebound relationship is your way of self medicating from your last breakup. Listen to my podcast on rebound relationships to help you sort this out, but go ahead and follow your

Read more
Page 10 of 14« First89101112Last »