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Archive for the Dating Relationships Category

Too Attractive for Female Friends?

Too Attractive for Female Friends?

I’m a single woman in my 50’s that is often mistaken for much younger.  I work as an actress, have long blonde hair and keep myself up and in shape. When I attend singles functions I have women saying mean things to me and have a difficult time making friends.  Should I give up on making women friends? There has to be a reason that women you don’t know well and have just met are being mean to you. Yes, it could be that they are envious of your attractiveness, but I would venture to say that you give off a vibe (that you are not aware of), that makes them dislike you. You’ve heard that saying, you get what you give?  How are you approaching them?  Do you greet them warmly, smile and show interest in them and their lives?  Do you show a genuine interest in them or do you prance around at these events with an air of superiority and a “look how attractive I am compared to you” attitude? If you have no awareness of how you are perceived by the women at these events, get a female friend or acquaintance to attend with you for the sole purpose of critiquing how you act and the vibe you put off.  What you don’t see or know about yourself you can’t work to fix.  My guess is that if you place more emphasis on inner beauty versus outer beauty you will be headed in the direction of making women friends. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How can you look to women for their inner beauty versus their outer attractiveness? What do you believe in, have passion for or hold dear in your heart? What inner beauty do you hold within?

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Wife Throws Mistress off Cliff

Wife Throws Mistress off Cliff

Yep, that’s exactly what a wife from Peru did to her husband’s mistress!  The mistress escaped serious injury and denied being sexually involved with the husband.  But wait!  There is a video!  In the video you can see her touching him in a way that, most women would agree, only a mistress would!   http://youtu.be/b7PNCOgcTe4 Oh, the mistress, that woman who dates married men in the hopes that they will leave their wives and families for her.  The woman who believes his lies about how he doesn’t like his wife and most certainly doesn’t have sex with her. Or does he? One wife whose marriage broke up over an affair found out that the reason her husband started taking Viagra was that he was trying to keep up in the bedroom with not only her, but two mistresses as well!  All at the same time!  Their marriage ended and he took off with one mistress leaving the other mistress behind.  I understand that the mistress who was left behind was more than pissed off at him.  A bit ironic.  She thought she was the only one he was cheating on his wife with! So, why would a woman choose to date only married men? Listen to the podcast from this weekends show to hear firsthand from a brave woman who opens up about how she has always been attracted to and dated married men.  Her reasons for dating married men might surprise you and you’ll want to hear what she had to say about finding out that she wasn’t his only mistress!  This podcast should come with a warning label that says: Ladies, be on the look-out for the little blue pill… Listen to The Joan Jerkovich Show podcast “Mistresses, Cheaters, Non-Judgmental  Friends” @ http://joanjerkovich.com/2013/10/07/mistresses-cheaters-non-judgemental-friends/

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Mistresses, Cheaters, Non-Judgemental Friends

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.5.13/10.5.13Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Mistress Intrudes on Family Vacations The Mistress Part 1, @ 7:50 The Mistress Part 2, @ 25:45 Cheaters and Cell Phones @ 43:42 Supportive Friend @ 44:49 Stop Judging Friends @ 60:55 Brought to you by: Hospice of Salina Martinelli’s Little Italy Girls Scouts Dignity Care Home Protandim LifeVantage Bennington State Bank George Jerkovich Photography Circles of the Heartland Stiefel Theatre Smokey Hill Museum

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~ Geeky Guy Shy Around Girls?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~ Geeky Guy Shy Around Girls?

I’m a kind of computer geek and getting around people makes me uncomfortable unless they’re already my friends. Most of my friends are virtual friends from online gaming.  How do I make new friends and especially meet girls I can date? First, you need to get out more to new places that you don’t usually go to, and, you need to get involved in groups that interest you where you can meet new people.  Before you throw out a big “Duh” to my response, you might be surprised by the geeks I’ve heard from who lament not having any friends, or anyone to date, yet admit to spending all their time with their computer avatars role playing through life as their alter ego.  I know that you may like those characters to role play right on to your couch, especially one of those sexy cosplay girls, but, that just ain’t gonna happen! You need to role-play into real life.  Step away from your computer, or say goodbye to your online gamer friends, take off your headset and put down your video-game-controller, then go relate to some real people. When you do that, pay attention to how you look.  Don’t wear your dumpster diver T-shirt.  You know, the one with the tiny little holes that you think “no one can even see”…And wash your greasy hair ~ that is unless the group of friends you hope to meet hang at the local trading card shop playing “Magic, The Gathering” ~ then you’ll fit right in! It’s OK if meeting new people, and especially girls, are uncomfortable for you.  Remember when you were a newb at gaming?  You learned the rules of the game then played it until your skill level rose.  The rules are the same for conquering your social awkwardness. 

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Mistrust Boyfriend?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Mistrust Boyfriend?

My boyfriend of 2 years has a long history of dating, and sleeping with, many women.  I know that he cheated on his last girlfriend, but I cheated on my husband, so I have no room to judge.  I don’t trust him, I know he sometimes texts old girlfriends, but I also know he’s been faithful to me.  I’m afraid my distrust will drive him away. …and you may be right…failure to find the “trust” you need in this relationship may drive the two of you apart.  What you both have brought to your relationship is baggage, truckloads of it!  You both have a history of cheating, so it is reasonable for either of you to mistrust.  While I have been known to caution someone who’s thinking of entering into a relationship with a known cheater, as people are more apt to repeat past behavior, we do not live in a perfect world. If you are concerned about your mistrust driving him away (even though you do trust that he has been faithful) I’m guessing that he’s been warning you of this possibility…and if you want to keep your man you MUST pay heed!  That’s not to say that you need to turn a blind eye to his connections with old girlfriends.  I suggest you approach this issue with open, honest conversation that is voiced in a matter-of-fact, taking-care-of-business way.  Pay attention to your tone of voice.  Take the accusing, whining, nagging out of these conversations…leave that for your bitch sessions with girlfriends.  We women are emotional creatures and too much emotion makes our men crazy.  Save the crazy for the bedroom and you’ll have a win/win on your hands! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Could some of your mistrust be coming from within and the fact that

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Boyfriend Won’t Accept Breakup?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Boyfriend Won’t Accept Breakup?

I’ve been trying to break up with my boyfriend, but he doesn’t seem to accept the fact that I’d like to remain a friend, but am not interested in being in a relationship anymore.  I feel bad about this because he’s kind of a loner, and I’m sort of the only person he’s close to, so I stay in touch.  How can I get him to understand I just want to be friends? Your question holds the answer to why he’s clueless about this.  If you want him to understand that you’re not a couple, you will need to go cold turkey on him.  Stop the phone calls, texts, Facebook messaging and all means of communication.  Your “staying in touch” may appear to him that you haven’t really broken up or there’s a chance of getting back to where you used to be as boyfriend/girlfriend. Some couples can pull off the “just friends” routine after a breakup but most cannot.  Being friends with a girl is especially hard for guys because…you’ve heard me say it many times before…guys are hard-wired to want to have sex.  If there is any hope of turning your relationship in to a friendship, it’s best to have no contact for, let’s say, six months, and then give it a try; but don’t be surprised if he broaches the subject of your being “friends with benefits”. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What do you need to do to remain accountable to the~No Contact~rule for breaking up? If you felt overly responsible for the emotional well being of a boyfriend from a past relationship, how did you get over that feeling and move on? What do you need to do to not feel guilty over leaving him “alone”? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Turn Friendship into Romance?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Turn Friendship into Romance?

A girl I met at the gym has turned into my workout buddy.  I’d like to ask her out, but I’m not sure she see’s me as anything more than just a friend.  I’ve never dated much so don’t know how to approach her. This is one thing a lot of girls just don’t understand about guys…they think you just want to be their friend, when in reality, you guys just want to get in their pants.  (Don’t groan as you read this because you know I’m right on this one!)  What you need to do is find your male confidence and swagger.  Change the way you interact with her.  Send her “potential date” signals by flirting with her; compliment her, look her in the eye, keep the conversation focused on her, and find ways to casually touch her.  Keep things light and playful.  Observe other guys who seem to easily send out these types of signals to women and copy some of their moves until you find your own signature style. You’re going to have to buck it up and ask her out on a date.  When you do ask, use the word “date”.  Say something like, “Jenny, I’d really like to take you out on a date, how about dinner Saturday night?”  Let’s dissect this way of asking her.  First, when you use her name it will really get her attention. Second, when you use the word “date” you make it clear that you hope to be more than just friends.  Third, while most first dates should be brief, such as meeting for coffee (it gives you both a quick escape if needed), this is a girl you’re already friends with so plan something memorable.  Taking that first step is always the hardest because we all fear rejection. 

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Still Single at 42?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Still Single at 42?

I’m a 42-year-old male and had always expected to be married with children by now, but after several long-term relationships I’m still single.  I keep busy so I’m not lonely, just tired of being alone.  Any thoughts? There are 3 thoughts that I’d like to impart:  First, while you would love to be married with children, this may not happen for you.  Acceptance is key here.  Accepting that life hands us challenges that aren’t fair, and piss us off, and make us want to sit on our pity pot and whine all day, is the part of life and living that, simply said, “Sucks”!  Do whatever you need to find acceptance that this is your (current) lot in life.  Release your frustration in the gym or go smash some golf balls; then seek acceptance by going inward…dare I say meditation and yoga? Second, live your life for now.  Make it enriching, exciting and self-fulfilling.  Ponder the benefits of being single, such as, not having to answer to anyone else, not getting in trouble (like your married friends) for eyeing an attractive woman or spending money on yourself.  I guarantee that there are elements of your life your married friends envy! Finally, don’t give up on love.  Analyze your leisure activities to see how available you are making yourself to meeting women.  Let your family and friends know that you are still looking for love as they may think you are content with the single life.  If you haven’t been winning at love, change your game. Make meeting women and dating a priority project and approach it as you would a business venture.  You know the drill…just do it! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Where can you go inwardly and outwardly to find acceptance? What is on your bucket

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Crush on Gay Friend?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Crush on Gay Friend?

My gay guy friend would be my perfect guy to marry except that…he’s gay!  He’s good-looking (we would make beautiful babies together), smart, fun and has a good job.  When we go out for dinner I dress up and pretend we’re on a date.  I know there’s no hope for a relationship with him because he’s not, even a little bit, bi-curious. I can’t help but have a crush on him…should I tell him?  Life just isn’t fair is it?  It seems that we can expand that saying of, “all the good ones are married” to “all the good ones are gay!”  Both are, of course, exaggerations! You ask if you should tell him about your crush, yet, don’t you think he already knows this? He may be gay but he’s still a guy and I’m sure you aren’t the first girl to crush on him or at least flirt with him.  Right?  The problem with being a Fag Hag is that you’re into guys…but so is he!  Soooo, of course you’re going to react to his cuteness and coolness and think he’s perfect~but it will never work to come on to him in a sexual or romantic way~and it may destroy the good friendship you do have.  Enjoy your one-of-a-kind special friendship.  Many women would love to have a gay bestie…myself included! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What would be gained in your relationship if you tell him about your crush? How do you nurture the unrealistic fantasy that you are “THE Woman” who can change your friend’s sexual preferences? How does that fantasy serve you; or not serve you? Does crushing on your gay friend keep you from finding real love?   Copied from urbandictionary.com: You Are A True Fag Hag If…  -You are a straight girl

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Using a Guy you’re Dating?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Using a Guy you’re Dating?

Is it wrong for me to keep going out with a guy that I know I will never be serious with?  He’s good looking and OK to go out with because I enjoy the attention and nice dinners out, but I know he’d like our relationship to be more.  Tee Hee…haven’t women been doing this forever?  Haven’t we all gone on dates with guys we really weren’t that into (isn’t there a book by that name?) just to have a nice dinner out or see the latest movie at their expense?  Listen, the way I see it, he gets to enjoy your lovely company for the evening!  Besides, I can make you a list a mile long of women I know who dated a guy FOREVER (I’m talking 5-10 years) hoping that he would marry her.  Then, when she finally breaks up with him, in a matter or days, he’s bedding someone else and sometimes even getting married to the new chick?!?  I say to have your fun for a while, but don’t crush the poor guy by leading him on for too long. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How will you know when it’s time to level with the guy and tell him, “I’m just not that into you”? Or…If you like going out with him are you really more into him than you want to admit? What are your personal standards for treating another person with decency and respect while also respecting yourself in relationship? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other! Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show! Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share

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