Archive for the Dating Relationships Category

A girl I met at the gym has turned into my workout buddy.  I’d like to ask her out, but I’m not sure she see’s me as anything more than just a friend.  I’ve never dated much so don’t know how to approach her. This is one thing a lot of girls just don’t understand about guys…they think you just want to be their friend, when in reality, you guys just want to get in their pants.  (Don’t groan as you read this because you know I’m right on this one!)  What you need to do is find your male confidence and swagger.  Change the way you interact with her.  Send her “potential date” signals by flirting with her; compliment her, look her in the eye, keep the conversation focused on her, and find ways to casually touch her.  Keep things light and playful.  Observe other guys who seem to easily send out these types of signals to women and copy some of their moves until you find your own signature style. You’re going to have to buck it up and ask her out on a date.  When you do ask, use the word “date”.  Say something like, “Jenny, I’d really like to take you out on a date, how about dinner Saturday night?”  Let’s dissect this way of asking her.  First, when you use her name it will really get her attention. Second, when you use the word “date” you make it clear that you hope to be more than just friends.  Third, while most first dates should be brief, such as meeting for coffee (it gives you both a quick escape if needed), this is a girl you’re already friends with so plan something memorable.  Taking that first step is always the hardest because we all fear rejection. 

I’m a 42-year-old male and had always expected to be married with children by now, but after several long-term relationships I’m still single.  I keep busy so I’m not lonely, just tired of being alone.  Any thoughts? There are 3 thoughts that I’d like to impart:  First, while you would love to be married with children, this may not happen for you.  Acceptance is key here.  Accepting that life hands us challenges that aren’t fair, and piss us off, and make us want to sit on our pity pot and whine all day, is the part of life and living that, simply said, “Sucks”!  Do whatever you need to find acceptance that this is your (current) lot in life.  Release your frustration in the gym or go smash some golf balls; then seek acceptance by going inward…dare I say meditation and yoga? Second, live your life for now.  Make it enriching, exciting and self-fulfilling.  Ponder the benefits of being single, such as, not having to answer to anyone else, not getting in trouble (like your married friends) for eyeing an attractive woman or spending money on yourself.  I guarantee that there are elements of your life your married friends envy! Finally, don’t give up on love.  Analyze your leisure activities to see how available you are making yourself to meeting women.  Let your family and friends know that you are still looking for love as they may think you are content with the single life.  If you haven’t been winning at love, change your game. Make meeting women and dating a priority project and approach it as you would a business venture.  You know the drill…just do it! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Where can you go inwardly and outwardly to find acceptance? What is on your bucket