My girlfriend and I take turns doing the dishes. She doesn’t stack the dishes in the washer correctly and they don’t get clean. How can I tell her without losing my dish partner? This sounds like a classic case of “my way is the right way” and “your way is the wrong way” in a relationship. I’m right and you’re wrong. This makes me chuckle because after I married my husband I had to get over feeling like he was stacking the dishes in the dishwasher the wrong direction. Truth is, he wasn’t, he’s just left-handed! So, while his way seemed backward to me, it was the “right” way for him! Ok, if the dishes really aren’t getting clean, and you aren’t being either OCD, or a controlling jerk about this, you can nicely point out to her how she could do this differently. That said, what I really want to tell you to do is to just let this one flush on down the drain. Let it go dude! Who says your way is the right way? Are you the dish cop? What will you learn from just letting this one go? Try these on for size: acceptance of others and of a different way of doing things; less tension in your relationship; not getting labeled a controlling jerk? So…just plan on rewashing a few dishes, or picking a few dried on crumbs off the plates…I bet you’ll reap the rewards in your relationship outside the kitchen once the dishes are done! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How could you grow as a person by letting this go? If you try and tell or teach your girlfriend how to do this differently and she doesn’t catch on, what will you do then? At what point will you
Read more →I should have listened to my friends who knew his ex, but I didn’t think he’d also cheat on me. He stuck with me through Valentines Day, but the day after, told me he’d gotten a girl drunk at a party and hooked up with her. He wanted to break up, but he was my first serious boyfriend and I begged him back. How can I trust him? Ouch! Do you really think it’s worth the effort to even try to build trust with this guy? You mention that you wish you had listened to your girlfriends before, what are they saying now? Sometimes, if we’re really willing to listen, our friends do have a more objective view on what is best for us. Any chance we’ll be seeing this guy listed on the “bad boyfriend” Internet sites? Give some serious thought to what you want out of a relationship and don’t sell yourself short. If you need to, sit down and write out all the reasons you are a really great girl and deserve a really great boyfriend! Get with your girlfriends and let them tell you why you deserve to be with someone who deserves your trust. Real girlfriends don’t act like those catty reality show housewives…they’re more Sex and The City gal pals…there for each other, supporting each other! Women all over support you~you go girl! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What do you need from this relationship to rebuild trust? How are you going to communicate this to your boyfriend? How will you hold him accountable to providing for what you need to build trust? If he breaks your trust what will your next step be? What can you do to take care of your emotions during this trying time in your relationship? Joan
Read more →Te’oing has flooded the internet. Named after the duping of Notre Dame linebacker and Heisman Trophy finalist, Manti Te’o, who was tricked in to believing that his online girlfriend was real; men, en masse, are enjoying sharing their pictures of themselves with their “non-existent”, “invisible” girlfriends! There are countless pictures of men with their arms around “nothingness”, but my personal favorites are the guy down on one knee proposing, and the one who does the movie scene from Lady and The Tramp, sharing the string of spaghetti! Then, there’s the Father of all Te’oers, Clint Eastwood, talking to the empty chair at the 2012 Republican National Convention! One thing can be said for these guys and their pseudo girlfriends…they’re practicing Safe Sex! How can you protect yourself from getting duped in to thinking you have an attractive woman from the internet hot on having a relationship with you? Follow the advice given by the creators of the indie movie Catfish, the 2010 documentary about New Yorker Nev Schulman who found himself getting Te’oed. Is the online person you’re dating real? Is she a Hot Model? Is he a GQ guy? Is there a tragic illness or injury involved? Is there a sparse digital trail when you google them? Do they balk at meeting in person, skyping or facetiming? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, your HOTtie, is most probably a NOTtie! Have you ever been Catfished? Listen to my Podcast, “Internet Dating, Internet Duping” for the meaning of this term. An interesting story coming from the husband of the woman who posed as a younger, thinner, single woman to capture the attentions of a lonely romantic looking for online love… Also hear my caller talk about the struggles he’s had with online dating; and the mother who
Read more →1. I’m 75% sure I should end my two year relationship. Will I ever be 100% sure? The young lady who asked me that question had already tried breaking up with her boyfriend for 2 weeks, but found herself getting back together again. She talked about how, even though she felt “happier” broken up, she patched up the relationship for another try, but now she was considering another, more permanent breakup. My answer to this question in one word was “No”. We are usually never 100% sure of any decision we make. With any decision that you make, that is difficult for you, take the time to process that decision using the methods that have worked well for you in the past. For some of us, it can be making out a list of pros and cons. For others, we need to discuss the decision with a friend to “bounce” it off of. Spend some time with the decision. That way, once it is made you can be more confident that it was the right one for you. Listen to my video answer on this question. Please join the conversation and join me tomorrow for another Life Coaching question! ~ Joan Jerkovich, BCC
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