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Archive for the Dating Relationships Category

Can’t Find A Girlfriend?

Can’t Find A Girlfriend?

However much I try I just cannot find a girlfriend. I usually manage to get dates but none of the women ever seem much interested afterward. They just tell me that I’m a nice guy but they just don’t feel “that” way about me. I’ve taken dates to romantic dinners with limousine chaperones. I’ve had picnics on the beach with everything perfectly planned like champagne and caviar. I even took one date for a weekend getaway to New York. After the first couple dates I just don’t hear anything back. I’m constantly checking my Internet dating profile and working it like I would a part time job. I’m trying so hard! I think I’m a decent looking well-groomed guy. What am I doing wrong? It sounds like you need a dating coach who can watch how you act on dates, and one who can also interview the girls you’ve been out with to see what may be going awry. There may be things you can work to change, or you may not have met your match just yet. Finding a girlfriend is often a numbers game and you are certainly putting yourself out there with dating when, as you say, you work the Internet dating like a part time job. Without more information coming from you, the only red flag I read in to your question is that you may be trying too hard? When you talk about only having a couple of dates before they lose interest, yet you pull out all the stops with limousines and caviar and get-aways to New York, I would suggest you scale back those first dates to coffee or a quick drink after work. Take it slower. See if there’s a connection before you plan the showy, extravagant date. Too much too soon

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Feelings for Friend of Ex?

Feelings for Friend of Ex?

I just left my boyfriend of 5 years. He was verbally abusive and his drinking became a problem. He has a horrible temper. Anyways, one of his friends is a sweet guy who was always looking out for me but I can’t tell if he likes me in a romantic way. I’m pretty sure I have feelings for him though. He hangs out with my ex a lot still. The other night I even thought he tried calling me but when I answered he hung up. Something’s going on here. I’m really feeling like texting him to hang out. Should I take a chance with him? Yes, my dear, and what are you waiting for? It sounds like you already have a friendship with him, so why couldn’t you just reach out as a friend? Just this morning, as I write this blog, I was talking with two young men in my own family who talked about how their friendship turned in to love. One just got married, and the other engaged, to their girl-friend. Both had been just friends for about 5 years before their relationship took a romantic turn. These two young men were talking about how they really liked having a friendship first. They felt it made for a more solid relationship, and I agree. While you obviously have stronger feelings for this friend, I suggest that you take the romantic part slow. I know I’m old-school, and I think you should reach out for friendship, but let him take the lead in the romance department. By nature, men are hunters. Give him the hunt his gender is biologically geared toward. Don’t be so desperate for a relationship that you drive him away. Men enjoy the chase, the pursuit. While they may respond to “the bird in

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Marriage of 30 Years and No Sex?

Marriage of 30 Years and No Sex?

29 yrs. ago after our 1st child my husband did not have sex with me until 5 months after her birth. Since then only on vacations 3 to 4 times a year. This drove me to a very deep depression & I gained 80 pounds. Now, I have learned to turn off my sex drive and I no longer find him attractive, which is something new. But, it helps me take control of my feelings. No more crying. Now, everyone is telling him he had better fix his marriage, and all of a sudden after 30 yrs. he wants to sit down and talk about things. Can I put a hidden microphone on you and listen in? I’d love to hear what your husband has to say! It would be interesting to hear the tale of 30 years of no sex! What are his reasons? Excuses? How does that happen? Is he depressed, asexual or gay? Is this a result of prescription drug use, or illicit drug abuse? Where’s Sherlock Holmes when we need him? All silliness aside, this is a very distressing thing for you to have lived with (or should I say, lived without) for all these years. Women I’ve talked to whose husbands don’t want to have sex with them talk about how this makes them feel like there’s something wrong with them. It makes them question their femininity and attractiveness. It’s a real head-trip and I’m not surprised at all to hear this drove you to a depression. After all, I’m guessing that you didn’t sign on for this when you signed your marriage certificate. You were expecting, as were the men who have wives who won’t have sex with them, carnal delights more than 3-4 times per year. For your information, a marriage with sex

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Lipstick Lesbians Misunderstood; Relationship Rebound; After the Romance-Is Friendship Possible?

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.4.14/10.4.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Relationship Rebound @ 0:00 Friends After Romance, Part 1 @ 4:24 Companionship Without Sex, Part 2 @ 22:00 Relationship Advice 42:18 Men Come on To Beautiful Lesbians @ 44:59 Lipstick Lesbians @ 59:23 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Beautiful, Girly-Girl Lipstick Lesbian says “Men Won’t Leave Me Alone”

Beautiful, Girly-Girl Lipstick Lesbian says “Men Won’t Leave Me Alone”

Marsella just wants respect. Yes, she’s a lesbian and comfortable in her own skin, but because she’s a beautiful, girly-girl lipstick lesbian, men won’t leave her alone. When she goes out with her straight female friends she doesn’t dress like a boy. That’s not her style. So, men will hit on her because she’s attractive and, shall we say, doesn’t look gay? Her femme style doesn’t scream lesbian, but why should it? Doesn’t she have the right to dress as she likes? The men hit on her, and when she tells them she’s gay she hears them say things like, “Are you sure?” or “Are you all the way gay, or are you Bi?” or “You’re too cute to be gay”. She says it sometimes gets comical when, after telling them five times she’s not interested, the guys still keep trying to come on to her. But then, at times things get creepy and annoying especially with the “creeper guys”, as she calls them, who won’t take “no” for an answer. She tries to be nice and not hurt their feelings because she doesn’t like confrontation. But, sometimes she feels like she’s being mean by rejecting the men she is not, and never will be, romantically interested in. Marsella’s story sends a powerful message for all women, straight or gay. If you’re not interested in a man’s advances, stand your ground. It is your right to say “no”. Don’t go inward and feel like you’re being “mean” for rejecting them. This is just the way the game of romance is played. Live stream Marsella’s story on “The Joan Jerkovich Show” Saturday 10.4.14 @6am CST on News Radio 1150 KSAL, or listen to the podcasts “Men Come On To Beautiful Lesbians” and “Lipstick Lesbians” which post Mondays @ JoanJerkovich.com The Joan

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Still Single at 42?

Still Single at 42?

I’m a 42-year-old male and had always expected to be married with children by now, but after several long-term relationships I’m still single. I keep busy so I’m not lonely, just tired of being alone. Any thoughts? There are 3 thoughts that I’d like to impart: First, while you would love to be married with children, this may not happen for you. Acceptance is key here. Accepting that life hands us challenges that aren’t fair, and piss us off, and make us want to sit on our pity pot and whine all day, is the part of life and living that, simply said, “Sucks”!  Do whatever you need to find acceptance that this is your (current) lot in life. Release your frustration in the gym or go smash some golf balls; then seek acceptance by going inward…dare I say meditation and yoga? Second, live your life for now. Make it enriching, exciting and self-fulfilling. Ponder the benefits of being single, such as, not having to answer to anyone else, not getting in trouble (like your married friends) for eyeing an attractive woman or spending money on yourself. I guarantee that there are elements of your life your married friends envy! Finally, don’t give up on love. Analyze your leisure activities to see how available you are making yourself to meeting women. Let your family and friends know that you are still looking for love as they may think you are content with the single life. If you haven’t been winning at love, change your game. Make meeting women and dating a priority project and approach it as you would a business venture. You know the drill…just do it! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Where can you go inwardly and outwardly to find acceptance? What is on your bucket

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Boyfriend Won’t Accept Breakup?

Boyfriend Won’t Accept Breakup?

I’ve been trying to break up with my boyfriend, but he doesn’t seem to accept the fact that I’d like to remain a friend, but am not interested in being in a relationship anymore. I feel bad about this because he’s kind of a loner, and I’m sort of the only person he’s close to, so I stay in touch. How can I get him to understand I just want to be friends? Your question holds the answer to why he’s clueless about this. If you want him to understand that you’re not a couple, you will need to go cold turkey on him. Stop the phone calls, texts, Facebook messaging and all means of communication. Your “staying in touch” may appear to him that you haven’t really broken up or there’s a chance of getting back to where you used to be as boyfriend/girlfriend. Some couples can pull off the “just friends” routine after a breakup but most cannot. Being friends with a girl is especially hard for guys because…you’ve heard me say it many times before…guys are hard-wired to want to have sex. If there is any hope of turning your relationship in to a friendship, it’s best to have no contact for, let’s say, six months, and then give it a try; but don’t be surprised if he broaches the subject of your being “friends with benefits”. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What do you need to do to remain accountable to the~No Contact~rule for breaking up? If you felt overly responsible for the emotional well being of a boyfriend from a past relationship, how did you get over that feeling and move on? What do you need to do to not feel guilty over leaving him “alone”? The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150

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Addicted to Control; Judging Others; Dating Mr. Peter Pan; Mr. Hot Mess

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/8.16.14/8.16.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Dating Mr. Peter Pan @ 0:00 Tell Me Your Dirty Secrets @ 3:53 No Games Dating @ 22:05 Dating Mr. Hot Mess @ 39:28 Addicted to Control @ 41:57 Judging Others @ 48:29 Want It My Way @ 1:04:48 Let Go of Control @ 1:24:11 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Tell Girlfriend About Depression?

Tell Girlfriend About Depression?

I’m in a new relationship wondering when is a good time to tell my girlfriend of one month that I have depression. I don’t know how to approach this new relationship because I had a past bad experience with my ex girlfriend. My ex had lots of issues with her father’s depression, mostly because he couldn’t keep jobs. When I had trouble getting a job, she passed this issue she had with her Dad on to me. She tried to get me to make promises about working and keeping a job. It was like she projected her issues with her Dad in to our relationship. She knew that I also have depression. Eventually she broke up with me. Now, I’m in a new relationship wondering when to tell my new girlfriend about my depression. Because of my past relationship history where my girlfriend broke up with me, I don’t want to mess this up. It takes two to tango, doesn’t it? Your story, my dear friend, seems to reek of an ex girlfriend who was entangled in issues with Dear Ole Dad. Those were her issues. Think about it. If her Dad’s illness created instability in her childhood, it would make sense for her to freak out over your not having, or keeping a job. Trying to get you to make promises you couldn’t keep was probably her way of trying to control a situation that made her anxious and harkened back to a past that was unsettling. Again, more of her stuff with Dad coming through. On the other hand, I could also see her thinking that getting in to another relationship with a depressed person as “been there”, “done that”, and “not going to go through that again”. Her breaking up with you may have just been that

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Bully Culture; Anxiety Over Move; Unmarried Men; Get Back to Dating

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/7.26.14/7.26.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Unmarried Men @ 0:00 Career Versus Relationship @ 7:10 Looking For Love @ 23:11 Get Back to Dating @ 41:56 Bully Culture @ 45:02 Boxer Talks About Bullying @ 49:39 Anxious Over Move @ 1:09:16 Aggressive Behaviors @ 1:28:28 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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