Empowering Talk Radio

Archive for the Family Relationships Category

Unappreciative Family Members?

Unappreciative Family Members?

I’ve always thought that family should stick together and help each other out, but I’m tired of feeling unappreciated. I’m a single mom raising my son and when my nephew lost his job I let him and his girlfriend move in with me. While I was working and going to school, they were supposed to both be looking for jobs, but I think they spent more time just laying around. They were getting food stamps, but never shared any groceries with me or my son and never helped out around the house. I had been asking them to leave, but things got really nasty and almost came to blows when I told them to clean the kitchen while I was at work. When I came home and it wasn’t done, their excuse was that it wasn’t their mess. I felt they should at least help me out since they’d been living for free with me for so long and neither of them was working. The girlfriend really got in my face so I packed up their stuff, left it on the front porch and locked them out. Other people in the family are telling me I should have known these two would act like this, and that I should have never left them in my house in the first place. I’ve always thought family should help each other out, but now I’m wondering if it was worth it? I know, you hate to stop being that generous person that you are just because of this one bad egg in the family, but let’s talk about how you can balance your generosity with setting personal boundaries. And, by the way, from what you wrote I think you were doing a pretty darn good job of setting expectations and boundaries with these

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Mom-zilla, Mother of the Bride

Mom-zilla, Mother of the Bride

My mother is making me so angry because she is trying to make my wedding her own. I’ve told her that my fiancé and I are wanting to make the plans ourselves. We’re both established professionals and are paying for the wedding since I’ve been married before. With the help of a wedding planner, things are coming together nicely. Our biggest problem has become that my mother keeps trying to meddle and stick her nose in to our plans when she has been clearly asked to let us do this ourselves. She even went so far as to call my wedding planner behind my back, telling her that I gave her permission to call and release to her the guest list. When I heard this from the wedding planner I was also told that my mother instructed the wedding planner to hand out the wedding favors she made for the guests. This was not in our plans at all. I got so mad at my mom I confronted her. We were both angry, each of us trying to hold our own ground, and she made the comment that she may not come to my wedding. Even though I know she will be there, her controlling personality won’t let her stay away, I’m so fed up with her right now I’m avoiding talking to her. We’re usually really close and this makes me feel bad. It’s a stress I don’t need before our happy day, so how can I make this less stressful for all of us? You have a real mom-zilla on your hands. I agree with you. Your mom needs to butt out. This is your wedding and not hers, and especially when she is not paying for the festivities, the planning needs to be left to you and

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Robin Williams Suicide Risk Factors; New Treatments for Depression; Abusive, Dysfunctional Parents

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/8.23.14/8.23.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: New Treatments for Depression @ 0:00 Depressed After Job Loss @ 7:18 Blues Producer’s Celebrity Clients @ 22:31 Robin Williams 5 Risk Factors @ 42:52 Abusive Dysfunctional Parents @ 45:07 International Job Offer @ 51:36 Success Despite Adversity-A Must Listen! @ 1:06:58 Surviving A Dysfunctional Family @ 1:27:21 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Empty Nest?

Empty Nest?

My son graduated this year and I’ve been a mess this whole past year just thinking of him leaving for college. I’ve been one of those moms who helped with all the school events and was really involved. I’m not dealing with this very well. This empty nest thing is already worse than I thought. How am I going to get through this? This can be really tough on moms, and some dads have a real tough time with this as well. You will get through this, even if it means having a good cry each day for a while! Give yourself the space and time to process this change. As you let go be mindful that your college student will let you know how much support they need from you their first year away from home. Listen for their cues; some want to hear from you every day and others will tell you to quit calling so often. Continue to support them as you always have, but give them their independence if they’re ready. Approach this change with a positive outlook! Look at this transition as a time to re-create yourself and your life. Use this opportunity to focus on that hobby you set aside, or take that class you always wanted to take. Marriages are often revitalized once the last child leaves home. I know of many couples that see this as their opportunity to travel. I had a friend send me flowers with the simple note “Enjoy” when our youngest left home. After the initial unrest subsides, I expect that you will come to enjoy your newfound freedom! Enjoy! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • What can you do to show kindness and empathy toward yourself (yes!~yourself!) as you go through this difficult time? •

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Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 1)

Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 1)

My husband has gotten himself in to trouble with drinking, and I know he’s been trying to curb the habit, but we recently were at a party with family and friends where he was getting sloppy and loud. It made me want to pack up and go home early. He knows his drinking too much makes me mad, so at the party he was sneaking around with his gang of drinking buddies, and they were hitting it hard, downing shots and chugging everything they could get their hands on. I could see trouble brewing from the corner of my eye, but I never know whether to leave him be or go over to him and try to get him to stop drinking or slow down. I don’t want to be the nagging, controlling wife, but I know he usually regrets his behavior the next day once he’s sober. Should I help him monitor his drinking at parties or not? Your man has a drinking problem. You know it. He knows it. Now is the time to get serious and look at what can be done about it. I’ve said before I have great compassion for people who have trouble with substance abuse. Like any addictive process, whether it is too much shopping, or golf, or working, or video gaming; throw in to the mix a chemical substance and it’s a game changer when it comes to curbing the problem or trying to stop. The first step toward addressing your problem is to ascertain how serious your drinking is. According to the NIAAA, National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, here’s the test to determine your risk: Men at risk for a drinking problem drink more than 4 drinks on any single day AND more than 14 drinks total per week.

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Family Fights over Politics?

Family Fights over Politics?

My husband is far right politically and his brother is far left. I hold my breath every time they get together as their conversations always turn to politics and things get really heated. I know this makes other family members uncomfortable as well so want to know how to stop it or at least tone it down. Sex, money, religion and politics…the hot button conversation topics where only the brave dare venture! While I welcome these conversation landmines on my radio show, even I know to play them down when talking with my friends and family. While this intense political discourse may make you uncomfortable, you surely realize that some people enjoy sparring over politics, even if things get heated. The critical issue here is whether or not your husband and his brother can walk away with mutual respect and an attitude to “agree to disagree”. If, in the final analysis, these heated debates don’t turn in to personal attacks that mar their relationship, then I say, “Let ‘em go at it”! If it does mar their relationship, that’s a problem they will need to solve. Your question seems to point to your personal discomfort, and your perception that other family members also get uncomfortable. Do they? Is that a fact? If so, you can ban together and tell them to go elsewhere to have their debates. If the discomfort is mostly yours, know that you can choose how to deal with this. Join in on the debate, ignore it, walk away, calm yourself with deep breathing, use earplugs, or take a video of them for playback at Christmas so they can see how ridiculous they get over the politics they have very little personal power over! Choose your strategy for coping based on how tolerant you’re feeling that day.

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Divorced Mom Competes with Disney Dad?

Divorced Mom Competes with Disney Dad?

My ex is all about play and fun times when my son goes for weekend visitation. He takes him to fun museums, water parks and zoos. Weekends with him are always like the fun field trip with a stop at the toy store. He doesn’t set any schedules and there is no discipline. My son gets pretty much whatever he wants when they’re together. This makes me so angry because as the only parent who disciplines, I always get to be the bad guy. It also makes me angry because I would like to do some of the same fun things, but I don’t have the money for it. When I have to buy the clothes and items for school and activities, it leaves little for the fun outings that cost money. I feel like I get all the work and my ex gets all the fun. How can I compete with my ex who is the Disney Dad? Thanks dear mother for your question, but since this is something I have no experience with I went to the Internet chat rooms to hear from the moms like you who are in the trenches. Here’s some of what I learned from the single moms out there who have been in a similar situation, but read on for what the older children had to say about growing up with a Disney Dad. Their comments may be the most helpful to you. Here’s what I found on the Internet. The usual scenario is just as you described. The children go visit their Dad and there are no rules and no discipline. Many of the mothers described how hard it was to “retrain” the kids after their time spent at Disney Dad’s house where they could always do whatever they want. The laxity

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Husband’s Mother Pours Guilt on Him?

Husband’s Mother Pours Guilt on Him?

My in-laws have never been very involved in our lives because they refuse to meet us halfway when it comes to visits. We live out of state from them and they always expect us to travel to get together. Since my husband and I are both professionals with busy careers, and it’s not easy for us to take the kids away from school and their activities, it’s hard for us to make time to travel. That, plus when we do take vacation time off from our jobs, we don’t always want to have to spend all our time and money traveling to see family. My husband’s parents have been retired for many years. We would have loved to have them come and stay for extended visits but they never would make the effort. They seem to be able to take long trips out of state to see other family members, but never to come see us. Since they won’t travel to come see us, we only see them in person about twice a year. The problem is that their age is starting to catch up with them and they are having some health problems. It seems that because of this, my mother-in-law has started to guilt my husband in to making extra trips to visit. He’s been giving in to her demands to visit frequently and he’s also been making our young teen children go with him to see the grandparents. They’re not happy to be away from home and their friends and activities and I’m not happy to have them leave me alone to work and take care of the house and pets. I’m getting resentful of these trips and so are the kids. What can we do? This scenario screams of family meeting to me. With older children

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Hoarder or Collector; Permissive Parents; Superstar Video Gamer; Long Distance Relationship

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/6.28.14/6.28.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Understanding Hoarding @ 0:00 Superstar Video Gamer @ 6:23 Helping Hoarder Mom @ 25:14 Top 8 Items Hoarded @ 43:11 Problems of Permissive Parenting @ 44:53 End Long Distance Relationship @ 49:07 Girlfriend Does Not Discipline @ 1:06:36 Are You a Discipline Wimp? @ 1:28:20 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Dr. Frankenfood; The Weight Loss Mindset; Our Anti-Mexican History; The Genealogy of an Immigrant Family

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/6.21.14/6.21.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Our Anti-Mexican History @ 0:00 An Immigrant Family Story Part 1 @ 6:00 An Immigrant Family Story Part 2 @ 26:00 Present Day Immigrant Discrimination @ 43:05 The Weight Loss Mindset @ 45:09 Dr. Frankenfood Part 1 @ 50:33 Dr. Frankenfood Part 2 @ 1:09:23 Positive Emotional Effects of Weight Loss @ 1:28:09 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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