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Archive for the Family Relationships Category

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Can’t trust after Foster Care?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Can't trust after Foster Care?

I grew up in foster care. I never had a permanent family for more than two years. People were always in and out of my life.  I almost gave up on getting too emotionally involved with anyone.  How do I learn to trust that people will be there for me when no one ever stuck around? When your trust in others has been as stripped down as you share in your story, you have to take yourself to the root of all trust, which is trust in yourself.  Trust that you can emotionally handle this ebb and flow of people in your life.  Trust that there will be times of stable relationships and times of turmoil, these too you can emotionally deal with.  When you trust yourself to make the best decisions you can and trust that you can effectively deal with the rewards or consequences that come with those decisions, you are on your path to building and growing as a person.  You will make a better life for yourself.  Believe that and you have already succeeded! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Recall a time when you made a decision you were proud of. Review in your mind the steps you took toward making that decision. What comes to mind when you look within yourself regarding trust? If there are negatives (and there will be) can you set those aside? Focusing only on the positive attitudes you have regarding trust, can you make a list of ways you can keep your “eye on the prize”, keep the positives your primary goal? Have you done research on how you can build trust (books, internet)? Will you schedule time each day to work on building you inner trust? Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Parents to Assisted Living?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Parents to Assisted Living?

My parents are getting older, and I’m expected to take care of them. My friends say I’m heartless if I put them in a nursing home. I feel obligated to care for them in my own home, but I know both of us would be miserable (work, personalities, etc.). Is it acceptable to let them live in an assisted living facility? You’ve answered your own question by saying you would both be miserable.  Plus, who needs enemies when you have friends that lay a guilt trip on you like this one?  To care for an elderly parent in your home is a 24-hour daily commitment.  Few people are up to the task.  I speak with a degree of authority on this, as in my former life before my talk radio show and Life Coaching; my work was in Assisted Living. As an alternative to having them live in your home, consider carving out extra time to visit them at the Assisted Living facility.  Incorporate activities in to your visits that you both enjoy.  When you don’t have the demands of being the person who tends to their daily care needs, you can focus on making your time together enriching to your relationship and extended family.  Have fun together! Unleash your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Do you have within you the personal power to tell your “friends” to keep their opinions to themselves (or to F-off, the choice is yours)? How can you address your own feelings of guilt? What do you need to do to tamp them down? Have you had problems dealing with guilt over other issues in life? How have you dealt with guilt from past issues? If you’ve had success in resolving issues of guilt from your past, how can you apply those principles to this

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: 80-yr-old wants Daughter’s Respect?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: 80-yr-old wants Daughter's Respect?

At 80 years old, I thought I would get more respect from my daughter, but we always find reason to bicker.  Sometimes it gets pretty heated and those times when it does I always leave feeling bad.  We do come back around in time but how do I quit this bickering back and forth with her? How do you change long-standing relationship patterns?  Sorry to be the bearer of the answer you may not want to hear but you probably won’t be able to stop the way the two of you relate.  Not completely any way.  The hopeful element, though, is that you alone can do your part to make this better.  Your daughter doesn’t need to know about your plan to change, but she will notice the change in you. The key is to recognize what your triggers are with her.  First, you need to recognize a trigger coming on, a blow-up waiting to explode.  Feel it in your body, “hear” it in your thoughts or “self talk”.  That’s easier said than done, and it’s not automatic for you, so when you’re around her you’re going to need to pay close attention.  When you feel your breathing changing and your thoughts turning toward wanting to scream at her, it’s time to implement your strategies for calming yourself down and removing yourself from this tango for two. Don’t despair, I have always thought that saying, “You can’t teach an old dog a new trick” was bullshit!  Good luck.  I know that you, being eternally young at heart will learn several new tricks to improve your relationship! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Looking over the past three blowups you had with your daughter, what were the triggers? What were you thinking and feeling in your body just before the

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: No interest in sex?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: No interest in sex?

I have no interest in sex because my husband and I don’t connect emotionally.  What do I do? Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your questions on Relationships, Health, Careers, Sexuality and Self Care.  No question is off limits!  She gives her opinion, then partners with you by submitting Life Coaching questions that will help you move toward health and happiness in your life.  Email your questions to tjjs.radio@gmail.com or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily at www.joanjerkovich.com

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Sister Dying, Custody of Children?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Sister Dying, Custody of Children?

My sister is experiencing severe health problems and wants me to take custody of her children if she dies instead of her abusive ex-husband. How do I handle the legal and family drama that comes with this situation? There are so many factors at play in your tragic family situation, it’s no wonder you question how you’re going to handle it all.  Look to maximize your own personal strengths during this trying time.  Take care of yourself.  Tend to your own emotional needs.  Nurture your spirit.  Your sister certainly believes in you, otherwise she wouldn’t want to leave her children with you to raise when she’s gone.  Whatever happens with custody of the children, you can certainly promise your sister you will always be there to help mother the children and keep her memory alive.  What an honor she is bestowing on you.  You must be (you are!) an amazing person! Unleash your Personal Power! Ask yourself these Life Coaching questions: What can you do each day to help soothe your sadness over your sister? Can you accept that showing and experiencing your sadness is natural and healing? Is your sister well enough to help you make a plan for the children? Can you both accept that you will do your best to follow the plan? If legal custody does not fall to you, what can you do to still be there for the children? How have you successfully dealt with things in your life that did not go as planned? What personal strengths can you draw on to “accept the things you cannot change”? What can you do to remind yourself that, regardless of what happens, you “have done the best you could”? Join the Conversation:  How would you handle a similar situation? Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Drug Addicted Dad?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Drug Addicted Dad?

I love my Dad, but my husband and I have had it with his drug addiction.  We were letting him live with us to help him out. He relapsed again, so we kicked him out.  Now I can’t bring myself to take his calls or talk to him.  How can I be there for him while setting limits for myself? Setting limits is necessary when dealing with an addicted family member, so you needed to kick him out if he was disrupting your own family life.  Don’t allow yourself to go down the path of feeling guilty over that one, nor over not taking his calls for the time being.  You sound angry, and rightfully so, if his pattern has been to relapse “again”.  That said, I’m sure you realize that relapse is a part of addiction, so expect more relapses on his journey toward recovery.  In trying to be there for him, start with deciding on your personal limits.  Make your own health and well being your number one priority.  This is tough stuff you’ve been dealt! Unleash your Personal Power! Ask yourself these Life Coaching questions: What boundaries do you need to set in your relationship with your Dad? What time frame do you set for yourself to start implementing these boundaries? What can you do to support him that will not leave you feeling “put-out”? What does he do that makes you the angriest? How can you minimize your involvement in that part of his life? What do you have to do to take care of yourself in this situation? Do you have an addicted family member, and what have you done to cope? Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily at www.joanjerkovich.com Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your questions on Relationships, Health,

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Strained Family Holiday Relationships

Strained Family Holiday Relationships

It’s that time of year when we get thrown together with those family members we don’t get along with, or worse, would be happy to avoid seeing altogether. The drinker who imbibes too much to the embarrassment of all. The politico who likes to argue his point until everyone is frustrated. The jokester whose jokes always poke fun at someone else. The pill popper who sits in the corner glassy eyed and disengaged. The newly widowed or divorced who are struggling to make it through their first holiday alone. The drama king or queen who can always be expected to stir the pot and get people riled up. The unexpected angry outburst that leaves those involved fuming, and those who are not, wishing they could leave. The stress of being in the same room with the family member you have been avoiding all year. The combination of challenging holiday scenarios is unlimited and we’ve all found ourselves in these situations. Would you like to talk with me about strained family holidays?                       Join my Live Chat!  Details below. So how do you brace for the onslaught of uncomfortable interactions and emotions during the Holidays? Plan ahead for what you will say to that challenging person to avoid a confrontation. Repeat a calming mantra in your head. When you feel yourself getting triggered, focus on your breathing. Embrace your personal power by maintaining your dignity and keeping your cool. Honor yourself by setting reasonable boundaries; such as not allowing personal attacks. Take the high road by apologizing or holding out the olive branch for peace (if only for the day). Monitor your own behavior, don’t drink too much, choose your words thoughtfully. If you feel provoked, disengage or walk away.  A family

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“Coming Out”

"Coming Out"

Listen to Joan’s Life Coaching Video on when is the right time to come out and contact Joan to arrange for your own free Life Coaching call! Link: http://vyou.com/user_107473/2462183/Anderson-Cooper-just-came-out-publicly-that-he-is-gay-How-do-you-know-when-its-the-right-time-to-come-out

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