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Archive for the Family Relationships Category

3 Methods For Coping With Things You Resent, But Cannot Change

3 Methods For Coping With Things You Resent, But Cannot Change

I’m so different from my brother. I’ve always been the one who believed in working hard to take care of myself and my family, but my brother comes around mooching off others, especially Mom and Dad, every chance he gets. He works just enough to barely get by. I’ve tried talking to our parents about how they’re not really helping him when they listen to his hard luck stories and hand over cash or groceries or loan him their car because his is broken down. How do I deal with the resentment I feel toward him and also toward my parents for giving in to him? Any situation where you have no choice but to accept the behavior of others, especially when their behavior does not align with your personal values, is incredibly vexing. You value hard work and value making your own way. Your brother doesn’t seem to have a problem accepting help from others. In his own mind, he probably doesn’t see himself as a mooch. Your parents may be giving in where you think tough love is in order. Such is the fodder of life challenges that make us grow in character. Every year that goes by, I realize more and more that I have no, nada, zero control over the actions of others. Thankfully, each year that goes by, I learn better ways of coping with resentments of the type you mentioned, and here are my TOP 3 METHODS FOR COPING: First, realize that you cannot control anyone else, you can only control yourself. To help you do this, make a list of what you can do to set up your own personal boundaries with regards to this situation and implement your top three. Keep them respectful and considerate, but use these as your personal guidelines

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The BEST Show On Forgiveness: What It Is And Is Not; Forgiving Parent Abuse; Why It’s Hard To Forgive

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/9.12.15/9.12.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Forgiveness, What It Is And Is Not @ 0:00 Forgiving Parent Abuse, Part 1 @ 5:48 Forgiving Parent Abuse, Part 2 @ 23:36 Why It’s Hard To Forgive @ 42:45 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!    

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How Abusive Dysfunctional Parents Affect Their Children For Life

How Abusive Dysfunctional Parents Affect Their Children For Life

Parents who have substance abuse problems, mental health issues, or are verbally, physically, or sexually abusive affect their children for life. For information on how children are affected when abusive, dysfunctional parents raise them, listen to: “The Joan Jerkovich Show” podcast: Abusive Dysfunctional Parents This weekend on “The Joan Jerkovich Show”, my caller talks about FORGIVING HER PARENTS FOR CHILDHOOD ABUSE. She has forgiven her Father for his abuse, but she’s struggling to forgive her mother for not protecting her. Listen as “Your Life Coach” brings you “Empowering Talk Radio”! The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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The Passive Aggressive Spouse: What, Why, And How To Deal With Them; An Abusive Marriage

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/9.5.15/9.5.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Passive Aggressive Behaviors; Why They Act This Way @ 0:00 An Abusive Marriage, Part 1 @ 4:26 An Abusive Marriage, Part 2 @ 22:49 How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Spouse @ 42:47 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Child Sexual Abuse, How It Affects Victims; Move Past Abuse; Stop Negative Thoughts

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/8.15.15/8.15.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: How Child Sexual Abuse Affects Victims @ 0:00 Stop Negative Thoughts @ 3:18 Move Past, Get Unstuck From Past Trauma @ 22:22 Psychiatric and Social Issues of Child Molestation @ 43:37 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Wife Struggles With Husbands Addiction?

Wife Struggles With Husbands Addiction?

My husband has recently gotten his addiction to alcohol and pills under control. He’s following his recovery program but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him. He has all this support but I need support too. Any help? You do need support, and you deserve support. When you are in a relationship with an addict your life can feel like it’s not your own. An addiction can pervade every area of your life and your relationship. Just because your husband is newly sober or in recovery, all the problems his addiction created don’t magically go away. Darn. Wish they did? While I’m sure you’re happy that he has started down the road to recovery, do you feel like you’re expected to throw up a resounding cheer of praise while showering him with an “atta boy” or “good for you”, even though you resent that he took you down the road of addiction to begin with? Do you harbor resentment over what his addiction did to your relationship and family? Has he come around to being a true partner now that the drugs and alcohol are under control, or are you still the one holding things together? Has his recovery taken away all of his character flaws, such as lying? One opinion I have about addicts is that when you live with an addict, you live a life of lies. Lying about their drug use is part and parcel to their denial of how bad their addiction is. They lie to you and they lie to themselves. This is tough stuff. For help, cultivate your own support systems. Find a support group, supportive friends, counselor or pastor who will help you through this new way of sober living. Take care of your needs while you support your husband with

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Money Issues That Plague A Marriage, Solutions To Couples’ Money Issues; Get Then Keep A Relationship

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/7.18.15/7.18.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Money Issues That Plague A Marriage @ 0:00 Get Then Keep A Relationship @ 5:18 Married 7 Years, Fight Over Money @ 23:41 Solutions to Marital, Couples’ Money Issues @ 42:40 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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He Saves-She Spends, Marital Money Issues?

He Saves-She Spends, Marital Money Issues?

The biggest arguments my husband and I have are over spending. I like to spend and he likes to save. I grew up in a family where my Dad spoiled me and I got everything I ever wanted. Sometimes I wish this were not the case because I know this has set me up for the number one stress my marriage of 27 years has had. Will this bickering over spending ever get resolved? Maybe before we hit our 50th anniversary? You may think you’re asking a question, but I think you’re telling all of us a beautiful love story! I’m sure you know the answer to your own question, which is to say that “no” you will never stop bickering with your husband over money. After 27 years of relating to each other in this way, neither of you are going to change. One marriage research project I read found that every long-term marriage has that thing (or those things) that they bicker about until “death do us part”. The issue never gets resolved (a key point to take note of…) and couples are good to not expect it to. Yet, over time, they find their own way of staying connected in spite of their differences. Ahhh…feel the love? I do! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • Has the way that the two of you bicker about money changed much in the past 20 years? • If not, why would you want to change things now? • If the bickering has escalated, are there other stresses in your marriage besides money? • What is your pattern for coming back together after disagreements? • How can you shorten the time you spend cussing and discussing, and get down to the business of reconnecting? Do you fight over money

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How Divorce Affects Children, Tips For Support; Ex Turns Daughter Against Her Dad; Children Don’t Understand Parents’ Divorce, As They’re Still Friends

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/7.4.15/7.4.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: How Divorce Affects Children, Is It Bad For Them? @ 0:00 Ex Turns Daughter Against Her Dad @ 3:33 Children Don’t Understand Parents’ Divorce, As They’re Still Friends @ 23:31 Tips For Supporting Children Through Divorce @ 43:37 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Mom Worries Over Son’s Visitation With (Crazy) Dad?

Mom Worries Over Son's Visitation With (Crazy) Dad?

My divorce has just been finalized and I’ve been granted primary custody of my son. He has visitation with his Dad twice a week, but those times when he’s gone are a struggle for me. I miss him and worry that his Dad might be saying or doing crazy things to set him against me, or stress my son. How can I cope? Your question makes me think of a television interview I saw with a powerful Hollywood divorce attorney who represents big name celebrities. In the interview, she said that she would not represent a client unless they agree to joint custody and visitation. In essence, what she was saying was that the children of divorce need both of their parents in their lives. I wholeheartedly agree. Even if you think your Ex is crazy, and knowing that you will never be able to control what he does and says, being a good mom involves supporting your sons relationship with his Dad. (Assuming, of course, that the environment Dad creates for your son is physically and emotionally safe.) Feel lucky that your son has a Father that wants to spend time with him. It’s the ones who don’t that hurt their children in untold ways. Don’t believe me? Oprah did a whole show on absentee Dads, and Oprah knows best! In anticipation for your son’s visits with his Dad, plan activities for yourself that nurture and fulfill you. Maybe there are activities that you enjoy that you rarely participate in because you’d need a babysitter. I HATE thinking of Dads as babysitters (because they’re not, they’re Dads!), but visitation does allow you the freedom of ready childcare. Maybe you can use your legally mandated alone time to delve in to your unresolved issues of anger and resentment from your

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