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Archive for the Health Category

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Marry Girlfriend Who Drinks too Much?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Marry Girlfriend Who Drinks too Much?

I’ve been dating a girl for 2 years and really think she could be the one except for one thing.  When we go out she always drinks too much to where I end up taking care of her the rest of the night.  When I try to talk to her about her drinking she passes it off like she’s just a party girl having fun. Even her friends don’t get as drunk as she does when we’re out together.  Should I be concerned? Yes. Repeated instances of drinking to the point of drunkenness or passing out are not social drinking.  It is a sure sign of someone who has a problem with alcohol…but you already know this, which is why you are asking this question. You have a difficult decision to make, because if you choose to make her your wife, her drinking will impact all aspects of your life. Assuming she is a problem drinker, odds are that this problem will only get worse over time. What can you expect in a marriage to an alcoholic or binge drinker?  Lies, lies and more lies about the drinking; living in fear that they will get hurt or hurt someone else by drunk driving; a roller coaster of emotions where they can be angry drunk or angry hung-over leading to a higher incidence of abusive behavior; irresponsible behavior with work, finances and children and often an escalation to other drugs. An addicts desire and need for their drug of choice will be all consuming.  Yes, there is the hope of recovery, but be prepared for multiple episodes of relapse.  Sorry, I know this sounds bleak, but that said, I know some really good people who suffer with addictions.  This illness is one of humanities great tragedies. Embrace your Personal Power with

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Winter depression, Move to Florida?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach~Winter depression, Move to Florida?

Whenever winter hits I get so depressed. Exercise and light therapy helps but I’m really getting tired of the blahs. I’m single and an opportunity has arisen to move to sunny Florida. I love being closer to family but I think I may be happier there. Any suggestions? Often people think a move to a new city is going to be the panacea for what ails them.  The move may be a good decision for you but you need to realize what a huge upset to your daily routines this will create.  Moving away from your family and friends and support systems will also stress you.  If you are a person who likes new adventures and change you will adjust more easily.  If not, you are wise to think this through very carefully before you make this decision.  Also, it is advisable to not make this decision (nor any other life changing decisions) when in the throes of depression.  Wait for a “sunnier” day outside, and as reflected in how you feel inside, to think this through.  Don’t rush this decision; it’s too far reaching. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What more can you do to actively address and treat your depression? How do your family and friends help you when you are depressed? How could you tap in to their support if you moved away? Find someone who within the past year moved away from family and interview them on the pros and cons to moving. Make a list of the pros and cons you would expect to encounter with this move. What amount of time do you think you should take to carefully consider this move? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other! Joan Jerkovich is a Board

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Overslept Lost Job?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach:  Overslept Lost Job?

I like to sleep, but the other day I slept until 11am and missed work! This was my final notice. I blame late night TV watching. How can I kick the TV habit at night? If you’ve been fired for being late to work too many times, this is a problem for you.  The cure to most bad habits can be to suffer consequences that hurt enough to motivate you to stop, and losing your job is a pretty big consequence!  As an employer, I thank our grade schools and high schools for setting consequences for tardiness.  This makes me wonder how old you are?  If you are young, we can say that you are still learning about life.  If you are an adult, there must be something more going on that you would be so irresponsible to get fired for repeated tardiness. A responsible adult knows that they either have to turn off the late night TV and get some sleep; or they will go to work tired and gut it out until their shift is over (assuming you can perform sufficiently and safely at work while tired).  You overslept?  Again, a responsible adult knows to set their alarm (set 3 if you need to) and get their butt out of bed and off to work!  Barring a crippling mental or physical health problem, you don’t get a free pass from this Life Coach on this one! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching ~ If you are brutally honest with yourself, why do you think you don’t prioritize getting to work on time? What can you do to address the real, deep-seated issues that dictate your behavior in this area? What small behavior changes can you make to change your attitude and habits? How will you build accountability

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Losing Weight?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach:  Losing Weight?

Losing weight has always been a challenge for me.  I lose then gain it back in short order and sometimes gain even more back than I lost when I started.  Two years ago I worked a plan and got down to my goal weight and kept it off, but the past 4 months I started gaining back what I lost.  I know what I need to do to get back on track, go back to doing what worked for me before, but I really can’t get started and stick with it.  I don’t have that same motivation. Geesh, I wish I could find this elusive thing called motivation and bottle it!  I’d be a gazillionaire!  Finding motivation, especially where weight loss is concerned, is tough.  We love to eat; eating tastes good; it feels good.  Often, it soothes over that rough day.  Damn, why can’t they make zero calorie cookies! I think there is something genetically mutated in those people who don’t like to eat and are content to crunch on raw vegetables all day. Don’t you? If they had lived in prehistoric times, they’d have all died out.  Why then, do we have to put up with their skinny bodies as that unattainable target we’re all supposed to strive for?…oh, how I digress… Take an honest look at your eating habits to determine what small changes you can make to control your eating.  Also, take an honest look at your daily activity and map out a plan for adding more movement in to your day.  Decreasing calories and increasing activity is, and always will be, the gold standard for weight loss.  Start with small steps, and watch them grow to bigger steps and bigger success! Make your plan for weight loss as unique as you are. Here’s to your

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Trauma after Mass Murder?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Trauma after Mass Murder?

My girlfriend was in the Aurora, Colorado theatre and witnessed the mass shooting there.  She didn’t get hurt, but saw people who had been shot.  She was so traumatized that it has been hard for her to get over it.  When the shooting of the children in Newtown and now the Boston bombing news comes up it really gets her upset.  How can I help her? I’m so sorry to hear that she had to witness this carnage, but it does bring to light the fact that while the authorities give us concrete numbers on the wounded and killed in these attacks, there is no way to quantify the numbers of bystanders who are emotionally traumatized.  Their trauma can range from the terrors of the mental images and memories of what they saw, to feeling helpless to stop the carnage or guilty over seeing others hurt or killed when they escaped that outcome (survivors guilt). The best support you can provide your girlfriend is to make sure she gets professional help if she needs it.  Review the information below to see if she might need the help of a licensed counselor or Doctor.  There are times when issues go beyond the realm of Life Coaching, and this is one of them.  I wish you and your girlfriend, and all those affected by these horrific tragedies, an eventual return to well being. Reprinted from the Mayo Clinic Website on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder When to see a doctor It’s normal to have a wide range of feelings and emotions after a traumatic event. You might experience fear and anxiety, a lack of focus, sadness, changes in how well you sleep or how much you eat, or crying spells that catch you off guard. You may have nightmares or be unable to stop thinking

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Parents to Assisted Living?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Parents to Assisted Living?

My parents are getting older, and I’m expected to take care of them. My friends say I’m heartless if I put them in a nursing home. I feel obligated to care for them in my own home, but I know both of us would be miserable (work, personalities, etc.). Is it acceptable to let them live in an assisted living facility? You’ve answered your own question by saying you would both be miserable.  Plus, who needs enemies when you have friends that lay a guilt trip on you like this one?  To care for an elderly parent in your home is a 24-hour daily commitment.  Few people are up to the task.  I speak with a degree of authority on this, as in my former life before my talk radio show and Life Coaching; my work was in Assisted Living. As an alternative to having them live in your home, consider carving out extra time to visit them at the Assisted Living facility.  Incorporate activities in to your visits that you both enjoy.  When you don’t have the demands of being the person who tends to their daily care needs, you can focus on making your time together enriching to your relationship and extended family.  Have fun together! Unleash your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Do you have within you the personal power to tell your “friends” to keep their opinions to themselves (or to F-off, the choice is yours)? How can you address your own feelings of guilt? What do you need to do to tamp them down? Have you had problems dealing with guilt over other issues in life? How have you dealt with guilt from past issues? If you’ve had success in resolving issues of guilt from your past, how can you apply those principles to this

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Team Lost in Final Four?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Team Lost in Final Four?

My team lost in the Final Four and I’m still upset! Surely you don’t want sympathy from me?  Both my teams lost so I’m your gal to join you in the cryfest!  Where to start?  If you’re this OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disordered) over an athletic team, do you have a hoarders basement full of your team’s memorabilia?  Have you saved every ticket stub and roster from the games?  Do you need an intervention or medication?  I’m glad you asked me for Life Coaching because you certainly need it! Seriously, although this question was posed tongue-in-cheek, some people do get too caught up in the drama of people and things outside themselves…kinda like my obsession with reality TV and the Kardashians!   Here’s how to know if your obsession is paddling you in to troubled waters… Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How much time and energy do you spend on your obsession? Does it interfere with your job or relationships? Have others pointed out to you that your obsession is unusual, or weird, or abnormal? Have you ever wondered if your obsession is not normal? Have you ever thought you could be on a reality show the likes of “My Strange Addiction”, or “Extreme Couponing”, or “Extreme Cheapskates”? Do you get too caught up in “Duck Dynasty” or “Honey Boo-Boo”?  (Oops!  My mistake!  Those are ok by me…and we all know there’s not a darn thing wrong with me since I’m The Life Coach! lol) Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your questions on Relationships, Health, Careers, Sexuality and Self Care.  No question is off limits!  She gives her opinion, then partners with you by submitting Life Coaching questions that will help you move toward health and happiness in your life.  Email your questions to tjjs.radio@gmail.com

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Sister Dying, Custody of Children?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Sister Dying, Custody of Children?

My sister is experiencing severe health problems and wants me to take custody of her children if she dies instead of her abusive ex-husband. How do I handle the legal and family drama that comes with this situation? There are so many factors at play in your tragic family situation, it’s no wonder you question how you’re going to handle it all.  Look to maximize your own personal strengths during this trying time.  Take care of yourself.  Tend to your own emotional needs.  Nurture your spirit.  Your sister certainly believes in you, otherwise she wouldn’t want to leave her children with you to raise when she’s gone.  Whatever happens with custody of the children, you can certainly promise your sister you will always be there to help mother the children and keep her memory alive.  What an honor she is bestowing on you.  You must be (you are!) an amazing person! Unleash your Personal Power! Ask yourself these Life Coaching questions: What can you do each day to help soothe your sadness over your sister? Can you accept that showing and experiencing your sadness is natural and healing? Is your sister well enough to help you make a plan for the children? Can you both accept that you will do your best to follow the plan? If legal custody does not fall to you, what can you do to still be there for the children? How have you successfully dealt with things in your life that did not go as planned? What personal strengths can you draw on to “accept the things you cannot change”? What can you do to remind yourself that, regardless of what happens, you “have done the best you could”? Join the Conversation:  How would you handle a similar situation? Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Drug Addicted Dad?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach: Drug Addicted Dad?

I love my Dad, but my husband and I have had it with his drug addiction.  We were letting him live with us to help him out. He relapsed again, so we kicked him out.  Now I can’t bring myself to take his calls or talk to him.  How can I be there for him while setting limits for myself? Setting limits is necessary when dealing with an addicted family member, so you needed to kick him out if he was disrupting your own family life.  Don’t allow yourself to go down the path of feeling guilty over that one, nor over not taking his calls for the time being.  You sound angry, and rightfully so, if his pattern has been to relapse “again”.  That said, I’m sure you realize that relapse is a part of addiction, so expect more relapses on his journey toward recovery.  In trying to be there for him, start with deciding on your personal limits.  Make your own health and well being your number one priority.  This is tough stuff you’ve been dealt! Unleash your Personal Power! Ask yourself these Life Coaching questions: What boundaries do you need to set in your relationship with your Dad? What time frame do you set for yourself to start implementing these boundaries? What can you do to support him that will not leave you feeling “put-out”? What does he do that makes you the angriest? How can you minimize your involvement in that part of his life? What do you have to do to take care of yourself in this situation? Do you have an addicted family member, and what have you done to cope? Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily at www.joanjerkovich.com Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your questions on Relationships, Health,

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