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Low Self Esteem? Take the Test

Low Self Esteem? Take the Test

Here is the test I promised you, my faithful listeners.  If you missed part of this Saturday’s show, the Podcast will post on Monday. ~ Joan 10.12.13 Show:  Sexual Harassment, Low Self-Esteem, Problem Drinking   Podcast Segments:  1. Sexual Harassment; 2. Low Self Esteem; 3. Workplace Harassment; 4. Low Self Esteem in Relationship; 5. Problem Drinking; 6. Control Drinking Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (Rosenberg, 1965) Instructions: Below is a list of statements dealing with your general feelings about yourself. If you strongly agree, circle SA. If you agree with the statement, circle A. If you disagree, circle D. If you strongly disagree, circle SD. 1. On the whole, I am satisfied with myself. SA -A -D -SD 2.* At times, I think I am no good at all. SA -A -D -SD 3. I feel that I have a number of good qualities. SA -A -D -SD 4. I am able to do things as well as most other people. SA -A -D -SD 5. * I feel I do not have much to be proud of. SA -A -D -SD 6. * I certainly feel useless at times. SA -A -D -SD 7. I feel that I’m a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others. SA -A -D -SD 8. * I wish I could have more respect for myself. SA -A -D -SD 9. * All in all, I am inclined to feel that I am a failure. SA -A -D -SD 10. I take a positive attitude toward myself. SA -A -D -SD   Scoring: SA=3, A=2, D=1, SD=0. Items with an asterisk are reverse scored, that is, SA=0, A=1, D=2, SD=3. Sum the scores for the 10 items. The higher the score, the higher the self-esteem. Scores below 15 suggest low self-esteem.  

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Jack Osbourne-Harsh Self-Criticism?

Jack Osbourne-Harsh Self-Criticism?

As a contestant on Dancing with The Stars, Jack Osbourne launched a saddening litany of self-criticism where he said, “I got the worst genes in my family, check this out: (bleeping) fat, heart problem, MS (multiple sclerosis), can’t (bleeping) sing, can’t act…I’m doomed!” Yet, his pro partner, Cheryl Burke (da bomb!) called him a “great dancer”. Jack and Cheryl go on to dance to the song Mad World with the haunting lyrics that eerily mirror Jack’s sense of self~ …going no where…going no where…their tears are filling up their glasses…no expression…hide my head I want to drown my sorrow…I find it hard to take…it’s a very, very mad world…children waiting for the day they feel good…went to school and I was very nervous…no one knew me…look right through me…I find it kinda sad…the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I ever had… Yes, Jack, it’s a very, very Mad World but you do not stand alone, as evidenced by the over 60 million views for the “Mad World – Gary Jules” YouTube video.  Might the pairing of your self-critical words and dancing to this song be prophetic? You spoke from you heart, shared your vulnerability, and now have the opportunity to let all of us watch you move beyond self-doubt. You have been given a profound opportunity that carries with it a great responsibility. Show us how to rise above! Embrace what judge Carrie Ann said to you, “You have this incredible nobility and cultivated presence…it’s beautiful.” Listen to your own words where you said, “You start at the ground level, work your way up”. Work your way up Jack. Show us the way. So to you I say, dance on noble Jack…dance on… Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What opportunities to make a profound difference has life handed you?

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Old Friend has Changed?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Old Friend has Changed?

Recently I ran in to an old friend that, years ago, I used to have crazy fun with!  She was a blast to hang out with!  When I saw her I couldn’t help but think that something is really wrong in her life because her whole face looked different to me.  I couldn’t put my finger on it but she looked sad, or beat down and so unhappy.  The change I saw in her has been haunting me.  What do you think has happened to my old friend? Maybe it’s the nurse in me, but I can almost instantaneously see in someone’s eyes and facial expression their sadness and pain, or, happiness and joy. I have no doubt that your instincts were right~that your old friend has had some pretty rough stuff happening in her life.  Abuse, illness, stress, and depression are but a few of the things that could be going on with your friend. Speaking specifically of abuse, I’ve known women who were being abused and mistreated have their complete countenance change.  I’ve seen them go from smiling, happy, funny and light-spirited to withdrawn and despondent.  Physical and mental illness or stress can also show itself to us in the changes you mention.  I recently saw a photo review of how the faces of combat veterans changed from when they first went in for service to after they had been deployed for some time.  It was strikingly sad to see the changes in them just looking at a picture of their faces. If you have the opportunity to reach out to this old friend, please do so.  You never know, your reaching out may be throwing her a life preserver.  I say this because I once had an acquaintance (hesitantly) do this for me.  Her instincts were spot

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Triggering Old Wounds?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Triggering Old Wounds?

In my last relationship, I was involved with an abusive man who did drugs and was generally crazy.  Recently I had a co-worker, for no reason, talk to me in such an angry, vicious way that it triggered the old feelings of abuse.  How do I keep this from happening again? The triggering of old emotional wounds can set you on a downward spiral.  You don’t mention how long ago the abuse was, but judging by your reaction, I would say that you were deeply affected by this mistreatment.  I’m truly sorry this had to happen to you!  Moving beyond abuse can take years, or for some, a lifetime… That said, there are things you can do to minimize those sad, angry, unwanted hurtful feelings when someone mistreats you.  First, ask around about this co-worker.  I’d place money on the fact that this person has a habit of treating others just like you were treated.  Unless you frequently get this type of response from co-workers, know that the problem is not yours~they are the ones with the problem!  Other things you can do are build up your self esteem by involving yourself with activities, experiences and friends that you find affirming.  Commit to research and read materials on recovery from abuse.  Take the recovery methods that make the most sense to you and make them a routine part of your self-care.  If you find that things you can do on your own don’t give you the relief you want, schedule an appointment with a licensed counselor.  Don’t give up on making this better for yourself…my heart goes out to you. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Assuming you reported this co-worker to your supervisor, how can you minimize your interactions with them? What other emotional landmines and triggers have

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Male Pride Affected by Illness?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Male Pride Affected by Illness?

I’m a 56-year-old man who has always been the person who took care of everyone else.  Two months ago I got diagnosed with Diabetes.  My male pride has made this hard because I’ve never before needed help. I have a hard time asking for help for myself and feel guilty that I’m not able to do for others since my health has been affected.  How can I cope? Self-sacrificing, generous people who are always there to help others do have a hard time allowing others to help them.  If you identify closely with that persona, this is a huge role reversal for you.  Add this to your shocking health scare and I’m guessing your stress level is off the scale!  Have you heard the saying that “before we can take care of others we need to take care of ourselves first”?  This is so true in your case.  I want you to really hear that and take it to heart.  Embrace it and know that in due time you will get your Diabetes under control to the point that you can get back to being your old self. Also, know that as you step back and drop the male pride to care for yourself, you are teaching the boys and young men in your life (who look up to you) how to be a Real Man!  Real Men know that if the warrior isn’t fit for battle he needn’t show up with the troops.  You’re in temporary medical readiness mode.  You’ll be sound and fit to lead and care for your troops soon enough!  Soldier on good man! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How will you accept this new challenge in your life? What things can you do to minimize your stress? How will you tell those people

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~ Low Self Esteem?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~ Low Self Esteem?

Ever since I was young, I have had this message running through my head that “I’m not good enough”. When I look at all I have accomplished and the person that I am, I realize that this message isn’t true.  What can I do to improve my self-esteem? Thank you for this question because I get so many Life Coaching callers who tell me that they believe the mistakes they’ve made in life, the poor choices they have made, resulted from their low self esteem.  When they recognize this fact, this is always a solid starting point to change the perceptions they espouse in regard to themselves.  One habit that is often revealed in their calls, is that they constantly talk down to themselves.  Often, I hear them say that the things they say to themselves in their head they would NEVER say to anyone else!  One caller named his self talk(er) his inner Bully! Self-talk is key to self-esteem.  Change your negative self talk to positive by first becoming aware of what you say to yourself, about yourself, via your private iTunes Playlist running through your mind.  One way to recognize negative self-talk is to notice feeling down, upset, discouraged, or frustrated.  When that “icky” feeling hits, slow down enough to listen to what you are saying to yourself.  Once you recognize your negative self-talk try these strategies:  scold it, talk back to it, shut it down or tune it out.  On the positive: replace it with positive comments, affirmations and self-praise.  Don’t play that~but I must be humble~game with yourself here!  You deserve to tell yourself how incredible, amazing, superhuman and superdivine you are!  It is Our honor to share this space on earth with you!! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What strategy will you implement

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Elderly Hoarder?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Elderly Hoarder?

My elderly Aunt has never had children so she is looking to me for help.  My problem is that when I went to her home I discovered that she’s a hoarder.  Her house isn’t as bad as those ones you see on TV, but it’s really a mess.  I love her to pieces and want to help clean her house, but I’m not sure I have the time to help with this big of a project.  How do I support her while not getting overwhelmed myself? Blessings to you for your willingness to help!  Do you know how many people would just walk away from this situation?  Too many to count!  You’re on the right path to helping most effectively when you realize your own limitations and the boundaries that you need to set in this challenging situation.  If you let this overwhelm you, you’ll most likely come to resent your Aunt, and that’s not what she needs from any of her family as hoarding is often a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that benefits from Mental Health Care. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve always thought it would be fun to tackle a hoarding house…I told you I was crazy! J I’m a big project person.  I like a challenge!  I like to take a big project that seems overwhelming and devise strategies for breaking the work down into smaller parts.  Then, I like being the captain that rallies the troops and directs the charge that brings all to victory!  Yeah!  Devise a strategy for cleaning up the house, break tasks down into manageable and attainable goals, bring in the help that you need and direct the troops.  I salute you El Capitan!  Victory awaits you! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What plan do you have

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Marry Girlfriend Who Drinks too Much?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Marry Girlfriend Who Drinks too Much?

I’ve been dating a girl for 2 years and really think she could be the one except for one thing.  When we go out she always drinks too much to where I end up taking care of her the rest of the night.  When I try to talk to her about her drinking she passes it off like she’s just a party girl having fun. Even her friends don’t get as drunk as she does when we’re out together.  Should I be concerned? Yes. Repeated instances of drinking to the point of drunkenness or passing out are not social drinking.  It is a sure sign of someone who has a problem with alcohol…but you already know this, which is why you are asking this question. You have a difficult decision to make, because if you choose to make her your wife, her drinking will impact all aspects of your life. Assuming she is a problem drinker, odds are that this problem will only get worse over time. What can you expect in a marriage to an alcoholic or binge drinker?  Lies, lies and more lies about the drinking; living in fear that they will get hurt or hurt someone else by drunk driving; a roller coaster of emotions where they can be angry drunk or angry hung-over leading to a higher incidence of abusive behavior; irresponsible behavior with work, finances and children and often an escalation to other drugs. An addicts desire and need for their drug of choice will be all consuming.  Yes, there is the hope of recovery, but be prepared for multiple episodes of relapse.  Sorry, I know this sounds bleak, but that said, I know some really good people who suffer with addictions.  This illness is one of humanities great tragedies. Embrace your Personal Power with

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Winter depression, Move to Florida?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach~Winter depression, Move to Florida?

Whenever winter hits I get so depressed. Exercise and light therapy helps but I’m really getting tired of the blahs. I’m single and an opportunity has arisen to move to sunny Florida. I love being closer to family but I think I may be happier there. Any suggestions? Often people think a move to a new city is going to be the panacea for what ails them.  The move may be a good decision for you but you need to realize what a huge upset to your daily routines this will create.  Moving away from your family and friends and support systems will also stress you.  If you are a person who likes new adventures and change you will adjust more easily.  If not, you are wise to think this through very carefully before you make this decision.  Also, it is advisable to not make this decision (nor any other life changing decisions) when in the throes of depression.  Wait for a “sunnier” day outside, and as reflected in how you feel inside, to think this through.  Don’t rush this decision; it’s too far reaching. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What more can you do to actively address and treat your depression? How do your family and friends help you when you are depressed? How could you tap in to their support if you moved away? Find someone who within the past year moved away from family and interview them on the pros and cons to moving. Make a list of the pros and cons you would expect to encounter with this move. What amount of time do you think you should take to carefully consider this move? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other! Joan Jerkovich is a Board

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach: Overslept Lost Job?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach:  Overslept Lost Job?

I like to sleep, but the other day I slept until 11am and missed work! This was my final notice. I blame late night TV watching. How can I kick the TV habit at night? If you’ve been fired for being late to work too many times, this is a problem for you.  The cure to most bad habits can be to suffer consequences that hurt enough to motivate you to stop, and losing your job is a pretty big consequence!  As an employer, I thank our grade schools and high schools for setting consequences for tardiness.  This makes me wonder how old you are?  If you are young, we can say that you are still learning about life.  If you are an adult, there must be something more going on that you would be so irresponsible to get fired for repeated tardiness. A responsible adult knows that they either have to turn off the late night TV and get some sleep; or they will go to work tired and gut it out until their shift is over (assuming you can perform sufficiently and safely at work while tired).  You overslept?  Again, a responsible adult knows to set their alarm (set 3 if you need to) and get their butt out of bed and off to work!  Barring a crippling mental or physical health problem, you don’t get a free pass from this Life Coach on this one! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching ~ If you are brutally honest with yourself, why do you think you don’t prioritize getting to work on time? What can you do to address the real, deep-seated issues that dictate your behavior in this area? What small behavior changes can you make to change your attitude and habits? How will you build accountability

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