Empowering Talk Radio

Archive for the Life Coaching Category

Work Hard but Can’t Get Ahead?

Work Hard but Can't Get Ahead?

What can I do about the fact that no matter how hard I work I can’t ever seem to get ahead? In these difficult economic times, I hear this all too often… so many people have lost their jobs and are struggling either to find a job or make do in a new job where their pay and benefits have been cut. Lean times come and go (or at least I remain hopeful that better times will again find us), so accept the tried and true saying of “this too shall pass”. Hold on to that hope, but also be practical in taking action to better your chances for getting ahead. Sit down and take the time to objectively analyze why you seem to be working hard, only to be left with so little in your bank account at the end of each month. If you don’t have the facts, you don’t have a starting point from which to better your situation, so write down everything using “Money In” and “Money Out” columns. Be honest with yourself in looking at whether you are overspending for your income. Case studies I’ve heard of people who’ve gotten themselves out of debt, all carried the discipline of closely monitoring the “In” and “Out” columns. Remember too that getting ahead isn’t all about watching your spending~it’s also about looking for a better job, taking a second job, or asking for that long overdue raise (Yes! Even in this economy good employees are getting raises!). Another thing you should seriously consider is going back to school for the training that will bring you a better paying job. Talk with career counselors at your local colleges and vocational schools. They can tell you which employers are hiring right now. I just heard how welders in training […]

Read more

Empty Nest?

 Empty Nest?

My son graduated this year and I’ve been a mess this whole past year just thinking of him leaving for college. I’ve been one of those moms who helped with all the school events and was really involved. I’m not dealing with this very well. This empty nest thing is already worse than I thought. How am I going to get through this? This can be really tough on moms, and some dads have a real tough time with this as well. You will get through this, even if it means having a good cry each day for a while! Give yourself the space and time to process this change. As you let go be mindful that your college student will let you know how much support they need from you their first year away from home. Listen for their cues; some want to hear from you every day and others will tell you to quit calling so often. Continue to support them as you always have, but give them their independence if they’re ready. Approach this change with a positive outlook! Look at this transition as a time to re-create yourself and your life. Use this opportunity to focus on that hobby you set aside, or take that class you always wanted to take. Marriages are often revitalized once the last child leaves home. I know of many couples that see this as their opportunity to travel. I had a friend send me flowers with the simple note “Enjoy” when our youngest left home. After the initial unrest subsides, I expect that you will come to enjoy your newfound freedom! Enjoy! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • What can you do to show kindness and empathy toward yourself (yes!~yourself!) as you go through this difficult time? • […]

Read more

Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 2)

Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 2)

My husband has gotten himself in to trouble with drinking, and I know he’s been trying to curb the habit, but we recently were at a party with family and friends where he was getting sloppy and loud. It made me want to pack up and go home early. He knows his drinking too much makes me mad, so at the party he was sneaking around with his gang of drinking buddies, and they were hitting it hard, downing shots and chugging everything they could get their hands on. I could see trouble brewing from the corner of my eye, but I never know whether to leave him be or go over to him and try to get him to stop drinking or slow down. I don’t want to be the nagging, controlling wife, but I know he usually regrets his behavior the next day once he’s sober. Should I help him monitor his drinking at parties or not? He’s having a fun time thinking he’s being witty and charming or the life of the party. You’re sitting off to the side feeling embarrassed. You see him slurring his words and stumbling around the room. His drink is sloshing around and people are dodging him so they don’t get showered with liquor on their nice party clothes. You notice how the sober people at the party are laughing at him, or looking at you with pity. You wonder how you’re going to get him home without his puking all over the car. Should you help him monitor his drinking at parties? That depends. First, what does he have to say about his drinking? Has he asked for your help? Does he want you to be the booze police? Understandably, if you’re going to have a conversation with him about his […]

Read more

Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 1)

Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 1)

My husband has gotten himself in to trouble with drinking, and I know he’s been trying to curb the habit, but we recently were at a party with family and friends where he was getting sloppy and loud. It made me want to pack up and go home early. He knows his drinking too much makes me mad, so at the party he was sneaking around with his gang of drinking buddies, and they were hitting it hard, downing shots and chugging everything they could get their hands on. I could see trouble brewing from the corner of my eye, but I never know whether to leave him be or go over to him and try to get him to stop drinking or slow down. I don’t want to be the nagging, controlling wife, but I know he usually regrets his behavior the next day once he’s sober. Should I help him monitor his drinking at parties or not? Your man has a drinking problem. You know it. He knows it. Now is the time to get serious and look at what can be done about it. I’ve said before I have great compassion for people who have trouble with substance abuse. Like any addictive process, whether it is too much shopping, or golf, or working, or video gaming; throw in to the mix a chemical substance and it’s a game changer when it comes to curbing the problem or trying to stop. The first step toward addressing your problem is to ascertain how serious your drinking is. According to the NIAAA, National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, here’s the test to determine your risk: Men at risk for a drinking problem drink more than 4 drinks on any single day AND more than 14 drinks total per week. […]

Read more

Eeew! Embarrassing Text?

Eeew! Embarrassing Text?

I sent a text out to the wrong person and am dying of embarrassment. I sent the text to a man I work with who has the same first name as my husband. I didn’t realize until after the text was sent that it went to the wrong person. The text I sent was complaining to my husband about a vaginal itch I’d been suffering with, asking him to pick something up from the pharmacy on his way home from work. I am dying of embarrassment, and soon will be seeing this person face-to-face, but don’t know what to say. He didn’t respond to my text. I’m guessing he realizes it wasn’t meant for him. What shall I do? Ouch! I feel your pain! I have had a text go out to the wrong person on several occasions, but thankfully I wasn’t discussing my vagina with a co-worker! There are stories about these happenings all over the Internet. There are whole websites dedicated to smart phone autocorrect mess-ups, and texts like yours that got sent to the wrong person. Recently in the news, there was a story about a young college girl who texted a sexy post-coital picture, with a telling caption, to her boyfriend…but, the message ended up going to her Father. Cringe. One can only hope her Dad didn’t cut her out of her college fund account! Getting back to your itchy vagina…since he didn’t respond, I agree with you that he probably has no intention of addressing this, and neither should you. The next time you see him don’t even bring it up. Treat him like you always have. Do your best to put on a brave face and a smile and act like the text never happened. A non-response will always keep him guessing. Maybe he’ll […]

Read more

Tell Girlfriend About Depression?

Tell Girlfriend About Depression?

I’m in a new relationship wondering when is a good time to tell my girlfriend of one month that I have depression. I don’t know how to approach this new relationship because I had a past bad experience with my ex girlfriend. My ex had lots of issues with her father’s depression, mostly because he couldn’t keep jobs. When I had trouble getting a job, she passed this issue she had with her Dad on to me. She tried to get me to make promises about working and keeping a job. It was like she projected her issues with her Dad in to our relationship. She knew that I also have depression. Eventually she broke up with me. Now, I’m in a new relationship wondering when to tell my new girlfriend about my depression. Because of my past relationship history where my girlfriend broke up with me, I don’t want to mess this up. It takes two to tango, doesn’t it? Your story, my dear friend, seems to reek of an ex girlfriend who was entangled in issues with Dear Ole Dad. Those were her issues. Think about it. If her Dad’s illness created instability in her childhood, it would make sense for her to freak out over your not having, or keeping a job. Trying to get you to make promises you couldn’t keep was probably her way of trying to control a situation that made her anxious and harkened back to a past that was unsettling. Again, more of her stuff with Dad coming through. On the other hand, I could also see her thinking that getting in to another relationship with a depressed person as “been there”, “done that”, and “not going to go through that again”. Her breaking up with you may have just been that […]

Read more

Family Fights over Politics?

Family Fights over Politics?

My husband is far right politically and his brother is far left. I hold my breath every time they get together as their conversations always turn to politics and things get really heated. I know this makes other family members uncomfortable as well so want to know how to stop it or at least tone it down. Sex, money, religion and politics…the hot button conversation topics where only the brave dare venture! While I welcome these conversation landmines on my radio show, even I know to play them down when talking with my friends and family. While this intense political discourse may make you uncomfortable, you surely realize that some people enjoy sparring over politics, even if things get heated. The critical issue here is whether or not your husband and his brother can walk away with mutual respect and an attitude to “agree to disagree”. If, in the final analysis, these heated debates don’t turn in to personal attacks that mar their relationship, then I say, “Let ‘em go at it”! If it does mar their relationship, that’s a problem they will need to solve. Your question seems to point to your personal discomfort, and your perception that other family members also get uncomfortable. Do they? Is that a fact? If so, you can ban together and tell them to go elsewhere to have their debates. If the discomfort is mostly yours, know that you can choose how to deal with this. Join in on the debate, ignore it, walk away, calm yourself with deep breathing, use earplugs, or take a video of them for playback at Christmas so they can see how ridiculous they get over the politics they have very little personal power over! Choose your strategy for coping based on how tolerant you’re feeling that day. […]

Read more

Divorced Mom Competes with Disney Dad?

Divorced Mom Competes with Disney Dad?

My ex is all about play and fun times when my son goes for weekend visitation. He takes him to fun museums, water parks and zoos. Weekends with him are always like the fun field trip with a stop at the toy store. He doesn’t set any schedules and there is no discipline. My son gets pretty much whatever he wants when they’re together. This makes me so angry because as the only parent who disciplines, I always get to be the bad guy. It also makes me angry because I would like to do some of the same fun things, but I don’t have the money for it. When I have to buy the clothes and items for school and activities, it leaves little for the fun outings that cost money. I feel like I get all the work and my ex gets all the fun. How can I compete with my ex who is the Disney Dad? Thanks dear mother for your question, but since this is something I have no experience with I went to the Internet chat rooms to hear from the moms like you who are in the trenches. Here’s some of what I learned from the single moms out there who have been in a similar situation, but read on for what the older children had to say about growing up with a Disney Dad. Their comments may be the most helpful to you. Here’s what I found on the Internet. The usual scenario is just as you described. The children go visit their Dad and there are no rules and no discipline. Many of the mothers described how hard it was to “retrain” the kids after their time spent at Disney Dad’s house where they could always do whatever they want. The laxity […]

Read more

Unappreciated and Passed Over for Advancement at Work?

Unappreciated and Passed Over for Advancement at Work?

I’ve been in my job for the past 10 years and I’m in a place of feeling like I don’t get the level of support or respect in my job that I deserve. I don’t feel supported when implementing new ideas. I’ve always been one to go above and beyond with my job. I will stay late while others just show up, but no one seems to notice, and I keep getting passed over for advancement. It’s becoming hard to work in this place that feels negative to me. What can I do? There seems to be a lot of the ole, being taken for granted going on here. If you’ve been consistent with your habits of giving extra, your bosses have probably just come to expect that from you. It’s nothing new that you put in more time and effort on the job. Yes, it has to feel frustrating that you are getting passed over for advancement, but let’s talk about the two key points you make. First, you feel unappreciated for what you do at work. Let me say, I hear this quite often from my callers and have even felt this myself. We all like to be told thank you for the work we do, but the reality is that you can’t hold fast to expecting that all of a sudden your bosses are going to wake up and give you a pat on the back each day you show up for work. Maybe it’s that expectation that this is your job, this is what is expected from you, and you’re getting paid to do this. Whatever dynamic is at play here, you can be proactive by finding little ways to make sure your bosses do know what you’re doing to go the extra mile. A good […]

Read more

Husband’s Mother Pours Guilt on Him?

Husband’s Mother Pours Guilt on Him?

My in-laws have never been very involved in our lives because they refuse to meet us halfway when it comes to visits. We live out of state from them and they always expect us to travel to get together. Since my husband and I are both professionals with busy careers, and it’s not easy for us to take the kids away from school and their activities, it’s hard for us to make time to travel. That, plus when we do take vacation time off from our jobs, we don’t always want to have to spend all our time and money traveling to see family. My husband’s parents have been retired for many years. We would have loved to have them come and stay for extended visits but they never would make the effort. They seem to be able to take long trips out of state to see other family members, but never to come see us. Since they won’t travel to come see us, we only see them in person about twice a year. The problem is that their age is starting to catch up with them and they are having some health problems. It seems that because of this, my mother-in-law has started to guilt my husband in to making extra trips to visit. He’s been giving in to her demands to visit frequently and he’s also been making our young teen children go with him to see the grandparents. They’re not happy to be away from home and their friends and activities and I’m not happy to have them leave me alone to work and take care of the house and pets. I’m getting resentful of these trips and so are the kids. What can we do? This scenario screams of family meeting to me. With older children […]

Read more
Page 2 of 191234510Last »