Empowering Talk Radio

Archive for the Life Coaching Category

Can “Magic Mike XXL” Motivate You To Lose Weight?

Can "Magic Mike XXL" Motivate You To Lose Weight?

Losing weight has always been a challenge for me. I lose then gain it back in short order and sometimes gain even more back than I lost when I started. Two years ago I worked a plan and got down to my goal weight and kept it off, but the past 4 months I started gaining back what I lost. I know what I need to do to get back on track, go back to doing what worked for me before, but I really can’t get started and stick with it. I don’t have that same motivation. How do I get motivated to lose weight? Finding motivation, especially where weight loss is concerned, is tough. We love to eat; eating tastes good; it feels good. Often, it soothes over that rough day and, at least temporarily, makes us feel better. Can you remember what sparked your motivation the last time you lost weight? That may be a place to start. You’ve heard of people who have that class reunion or wedding coming up that sparks their weight loss. Do you have an event coming up where you’d like to look and feel differently? Find that spark to get you started and you’ve made it halfway toward your goal. Take an honest look at your eating habits to determine what small changes you can make to control your eating. Weight loss research points to the fact that setting smaller, more reasonable goals for weight loss will improve your success long term. Also, take an honest look at your daily activity and map out a plan for adding more movement in to your day. Something as simple as a daily 15-minute walk can move you toward your weight loss goals. While we’d like to lose weight quickly, extreme dieting often sets us

Read more

Mom Worries Over Son’s Visitation With (Crazy) Dad?

Mom Worries Over Son's Visitation With (Crazy) Dad?

My divorce has just been finalized and I’ve been granted primary custody of my son. He has visitation with his Dad twice a week, but those times when he’s gone are a struggle for me. I miss him and worry that his Dad might be saying or doing crazy things to set him against me, or stress my son. How can I cope? Your question makes me think of a television interview I saw with a powerful Hollywood divorce attorney who represents big name celebrities. In the interview, she said that she would not represent a client unless they agree to joint custody and visitation. In essence, what she was saying was that the children of divorce need both of their parents in their lives. I wholeheartedly agree. Even if you think your Ex is crazy, and knowing that you will never be able to control what he does and says, being a good mom involves supporting your sons relationship with his Dad. (Assuming, of course, that the environment Dad creates for your son is physically and emotionally safe.) Feel lucky that your son has a Father that wants to spend time with him. It’s the ones who don’t that hurt their children in untold ways. Don’t believe me? Oprah did a whole show on absentee Dads, and Oprah knows best! In anticipation for your son’s visits with his Dad, plan activities for yourself that nurture and fulfill you. Maybe there are activities that you enjoy that you rarely participate in because you’d need a babysitter. I HATE thinking of Dads as babysitters (because they’re not, they’re Dads!), but visitation does allow you the freedom of ready childcare. Maybe you can use your legally mandated alone time to delve in to your unresolved issues of anger and resentment from your

Read more

Dangerous Attraction To Married Man?

Dangerous Attraction To Married Man?

I’m really attracted to my babysitter’s husband to where I think about cheating on my husband with him. I find reasons to pick the kids up late hoping that he’s home from work and I can see him and talk with him. He’s like my fantasy guy. He’s given me no clue that he’s interested in me so why do I keep crushing on him? Is it because my marriage isn’t great? What would life be without our fantasy men and women? What woman hasn’t had a crush on some hot celebrity? What man hasn’t had fantasies about Selena Gomez or Rihanna (Maxim’s Hot 100 #2&3)? Read from my blog archives about my personal fantasy crush back in the “Magic Mike” days. My newest muses are Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth….oh, I digress to such pleasurable thoughts…but on with your question… Seriously, having a celebrity crush that we all know is unattainable does not carry the danger of crushing on a married man you see on a regular basis. While there is no harm in finding someone attractive, when it gets to the point of obsessing about them, or changing your daily routine for a “chance” encounter, then you’re right to start questioning what is going on in your life. Yes, my guess is that you have allowed this crush to commandeer your thoughts because you are not getting your needs met in your marriage. Duh-you didn’t need to hear that from a Board Certified Life Coach, that’s common sense. A good solid relationship allows for those celebrity crushes and infatuations, and poses no harm. A relationship where your emotional and physical needs are not getting met is at risk for an affair. Don’t get too wrapped up in why you’re crushing on this guy, just acknowledge that you are

Read more

4 Tips For Stepparents Who Are Dealing With Behavior Problems

4 Tips For Stepparents Who Are Dealing With Behavior Problems

My stepson has ADD, but his mother doesn’t want him on medication so I have to put up with his bullshit. It’s affecting our marriage. Any advice? This one is tough as there are a lot of parents who don’t believe in medicating their children (for various reasons) and your wife sounds strong in her belief. First, do you feel that you have adequate information from which to make the decision to medicate or not? I tell people that you can always find an “opinion” on the Internet that will “fit” your belief in what you should (or should not) do, but that doesn’t make the information accurate or reliable. That said, you need to first agree on what resources for information on managing ADD you will use to base your decisions on. That can be anything from the Medical Pediatric Associations, Behavioral Therapists, the local Shaman, Nutritionist or Energy Healer. Believe me, when it comes to health, people have strong opinions on what methods to use and to this I say…do what works for you! After you gather the information, you can begin the process of discussing with your wife a plan for making your home life more peaceful. This will most likely focus on treatment for his ADD and management of behavioral issues. If you have issues with your stepson’s behavior, try these 4 steps for making your home life more peaceful for all of you: Together, with your wife, set up specific and clearly defined house rules. Together, present the rules to your children. Decide on consequences for breaking the rules. Administer the consequences, together, as a united front. As you tackle this issue, honor the fact that your stepson’s mother has the final say in how her child will be treated both medically and behaviorally in your home. Work with your

Read more

Husband’s Job-Hopping Makes Wife Nervous?

Husband's Job-Hopping Makes Wife Nervous?

My husband never stays at one job for very long, and I don’t understand why. He doesn’t have a hard time getting new jobs because he’s very likable and a good communicator. Also, since he’s done so many different jobs he has a lot to offer in the way of experience. He only stays at a job for about 2 years at a time. Now that he’s in his 40’s I would like to see him settle in to one job. Every time he changes jobs he loses vacation and it’s like he has to start all over again with gaining seniority. When I ask him why he does this, his answers are always vague and something like he gets bored and wants to try something new. That, or he seems to have a minor reason for why he doesn’t like working with someone, so decides to move on. This pattern is starting to make me nervous. What can I say to him to help him see that moving jobs so often may not be in his or our family’s best interest? Truth is, although this pattern of “job hopping” makes you nervous, there are pro’s and con’s to your husband’s behavior. On the pro side is just what you said about him gaining lots of varied experience by working for different companies at different jobs. Some people move from job to job as a way to work their way up the management ladder and pay scale. These are a couple of things that can work in your husbands favor. To the negative, the biggest down side to your husband changing jobs so often is that prospective new employers will see this on his resume. An employee that doesn’t stay at any one job for very long could be looked

Read more

Red Flags In Dating Relationship?

Red Flags In Dating Relationship?

My boyfriend of 2 years has a long history of dating, and sleeping with, many women. I know that he cheated on his last girlfriend, but I cheated on my husband, so I have no room to judge. I don’t trust him, I know he sometimes texts old girlfriends, but I also know he’s been faithful to me. I’m afraid my distrust will drive him away. …and you may be right…failure to find the “trust” you need in this relationship may drive the two of you apart. What you both have brought to your relationship is baggage, truckloads of it! You both have a history of cheating, so it is reasonable for either of you to mistrust. I have been known to caution someone who’s thinking of entering into a relationship with a known cheater, as people are more apt to repeat past behavior. Yet, we do not live in a perfect world. If you are concerned about your mistrust driving him away (even though you do trust that he has been faithful) I’m guessing that he’s been warning you of this possibility. If you want to keep your man you MUST pay heed! Don’t turn a blind eye to his connections with old girlfriends. Instead, approach this issue with open, honest conversation that is voiced in a matter-of-fact, taking-care-of-business way. Pay attention to your tone of voice. Take the accusing, whining, nagging out of these conversations. Leave that for your bitch sessions with girlfriends. We women are emotional creatures and too much emotion makes our men crazy. Save the crazy for the bedroom and you’ll have a win/win on your hands! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • Could some of your mistrust be coming from within and the fact that you don’t trust yourself in this relationship?

Read more

Sick Of Job Of 10 Years?

Sick Of Job Of 10 Years?

I’ve been working the same job for 10 years now. My co-workers just threw me a celebration party on my anniversary. During the party I just felt like I had to put on a fake smile. I’m so sick of my job! A few of my co-worker friends know that I’m getting anxious to do something else and have been supportive. The trouble is, I just don’t know what I’m passionate about anymore. It used to be writing, then I was into fixing cars, I had a stint with making music, and I’ve even considered becoming a pastor! I’m a little all over the place. Job opportunities are plenty here, but I don’t know what fits. I’ll probably end up staying with this job until I die. Should I just give up looking for a job that excites me? Yes, you are a “little all over the place” as you say, so my advice for you at this time is to stay put. Don’t make a change until you’re certain of where you want to head, and where you want to land, once you set out on a new path. Replacing a job of 10 years often, but not always, means taking a pay cut and losing the benefits you have built up over 10 years at one job. You wouldn’t want to take that step, only to regret it later. When you mention all the activities you enjoy such as writing, fixing cars, making music and becoming a pastor, how much of those things are you doing in your leisure time? Sometimes discontent in a job points to a general discontent with how you are living your life. Choose to live your life more fully. Once again, open the door to exploring things you feel passionate about. Incorporate the

Read more

5 Tips For Reducing Angry Outbursts?

5 Tips For Reducing Angry Outbursts?

I can’t stand the horrible drivers in this town! Half the people on the road aren’t paying attention. They are either on their cell phones or are just half asleep. Today I almost ran into a woman who pulled right out in front of me in her giant SUV. I had to slam on the brakes to avoid her. She didn’t even see me! I started screaming at her in my car. I had the windows rolled up but I kept yelling and honking. My wife, who was with me, had to calm me down. I think I scared my wife. I know I have a touch of road rage. It’s hard to deal with awful drivers, but what can I do when a driver cuts me off and I feel the anger boiling to the surface? Hmmmm, you may have a problem here, but then again, if I had to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident, I’d be screaming too, and would probably throw out a few curse words! Yet, you were raging to the level of scaring your passenger? That is telling. Do you think your level of anger and intensity could point to something deeper going on in your life? Let’s explore that… Do you find yourself getting explosively angry over other uncontrollable events in your life? Is your general demeanor cranky and agitated, or angry? If you or your wife are noticing other times when your anger reaches a “scary” level of intensity, take a look at what else may be feeding your stress. Are you stressed with work? Are you sleep deprived? Are there other physical or mental stresses at play in your life? To reduce your angry outbursts on the road and in other areas of life, try these 5 things: 1.

Read more

Angry Over Brother’s Murder?

Angry Over Brother's Murder?

Many years ago my brother was murdered, in what we suspect, was a drug deal gone bad. The police ended up finding his killer and he’s been in jail without parole since. Everyday I think of my brother and what he would say to me if he were alive. I’m still mad at him for putting himself in such bad circumstances. I don’t know what he was thinking. It was so dangerous doing what he was. I feel an emptiness without him here. Why am I still so angry after all this time? We are always angriest with the people we love the most. You loved your brother. It’s understandable that you feel angry with him for his part in ending his life, an ending that took him away from you. It’s good that you’re allowing yourself to feel these feelings of anger and emptiness. It reminds me of that saying, “the only way out is through.” Sometimes the way to move beyond painful emotions is to dive deeper in to them. Allow them to resurface and move you toward healing. What you’re experiencing is the resurgence of a smoldering emotional pain. The pain of losing your brother that you have probably covered over with a degree of denial, so that you didn’t have to re-live the acute pain of your loss and grief that you first felt when he died. Often, we like to avoid emotional pain. Yet, just as a broken bone can take months and years to heal, painful emotions also need time to resolve; and just like the broken bone, a break in our emotional countenance will take time to heal. Many persons find physical pain and suffering easier to cope with than emotional pain. In order to tamp down emotional pain they might hold on

Read more

Is This Teen Questioning Her Sexuality?

Is This Teen Questioning Her Sexuality?

My best friend started dating this boy. We are in 7th grade and I think she’s doing in to fit in. Other girls in our class are staring to go on dates. My friend and I have been really close since grade school. I don’t think this boy is her type. She has been trying to get me to hook up with one of his friends. No thanks! Some of his friends are ok but most of them are stupid. I really miss spending time with my friend because she is always with this guy. Last year she said she hated boys and that we would be together forever. I just don’t understand. Should I get a boyfriend so she will be jealous? It sounds as if you are questioning your friend’s statement that “she hated boys” and that you “would be together forever.” Did that sound to you like she was somehow romantically interested in or attracted to you? Are you interested in your girlfriend in that way? Do you have a “crush” on her but find boys stupid and uninteresting? You’re the age to be discovering your sexuality, that being, whether you’re gay or straight. This can be scary and confusing, but answer these 3 questions to help you understand your sexual orientation: 1. Who do you “crush on”? 2. Who do you fantasize about? 3. Who do you feel romantic toward? If you find yourself attracted to girls, and not boys, don’t get down on yourself. Seek out understanding and supportive friends and adults who can help you honor and understand your being attracted to a same-sex person. Particularly challenging can be a young person who is realizing they may be gay, yet that is in conflict with the beliefs of their family or religion. If this is

Read more
Page 2 of 24123451020Last »