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Archive for the Life Coaching Category

Friend Used by Bosses?

Friend Used by Bosses?

We’ve all been struggling to get good jobs since college, and we’re a close group of friends. What makes us angry is that our one friend is being used by her bosses. First, she was passed over for a promotion that even the Board of Directors thought she should have gotten, but some guy with no experience got hired for the job instead of her. She had to train him for the job she should have gotten for herself. Then, she had to pick up the slack when he always seemed to be out of the office for one reason or another. It was like she was doing her job and his too. Now, she has been telling us that he has gotten fired, so she really is doing both jobs full time. The problem is that she always complains about this to us and we keep telling her to step up and let her bosses and the board know that she should officially be given the promotion, and the salary that goes with it. But, she just seems to keep complaining about her situation without doing anything to change it. When we ask her why she doesn’t stand up for herself, all she ever says is that her work situation “is complicated”. We hate seeing her being used and wish that she would assert herself, but since she doesn’t, how do we respond to her complaints and how can we help her? Maybe this is just the Life Coach in me but, from what you wrote, I sense that there is more to this story. If I were you, the next time I heard her complain about her job I would ask lots of questions. Try and get her to open up and talk more about the specifics of […]

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Manager Scheduled Vacation During Office Move?

Manager Scheduled Vacation During Office Move?

Our manager, in an effort to save costs, is telling all of us we have to help move our office to a new location. We’re not professional movers. The problem is, the manager has arranged to be on vacation during the move, and won’t be there to help out. We’re not happy. Anything we can do about this? What a terd…Ok…I’ll be politically correct and simply say that your manager isn’t a “team player”? Really? Wow…when you work in a place where management pushes their power around to dump on the employees, it’s a tough road to hoe. These are the type of managers that push employee morale to new lows. I’m going to guess that this isn’t the first, or only, thing this manager has done to dump on employees? Just a guess… This is a subject I’ve learned quite a bit about from my radio callers. The most important thing they’ve taught me is that you and your fellow employees need to document all the instances of dumping. Take notes and keep records when things happen. Don’t count on your memory. If you can capture “evidence” on your cell phone video or voice recorder do so. I know this is legal to do in my state, even if the other party is unaware that you are recording them, but check the laws in your state. Once you have sufficient evidence, organize as a group to decide who will be your spokesperson and make a case to the higher up bosses against your manager. There is power in numbers, so get as many fed-up employees together as you can to stand behind your claims. Yes, there are risks involved. One risk is that the manager can turn the tables on you and make a case against you as an […]

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Failed Relationships?

Failed Relationships?

Why do I have so many failed relationships?* You ask why? Here are some possible reasons, and I’m guessing you will find your answer in more than one of these. Too Hot and Fast. A fire that burns too hot will burn out fast. The same often goes for the romance that runs on speed dial. The foundation of true connection didn’t have time to smolder and lay a base of deep coals to keep the fires burning. Fairy Tales are for Books, Not Relationships. If you start hearing yourself say your new love is perfect, it’s time for your Fairy Godmother to wave her magic wand and wake you up from your dream. We all have our flaws and it’s better to wake up to that fact early in your relationship before you get a dog, house and kid together. Some flaws you can live with, some you can’t. The Mask Comes Off. It takes about six months for a person to let their guard down and take the mask of social charm off. Only then will you see the real person hidden beneath the mask. Then the character flaws and personality quirks show up, and the true nature of your true love makes its appearance. When the mask comes off, put on your reading glasses and take a good hard look at whether or not this relationship it right for you. Ghosts and Goblins. Once you step inside a new relationship, you might find hiding in the closet the ghosts and goblins that will haunt you. These are the ghosts of unresolved emotional baggage such as a traumatic past relationship or traumatic childhood that remains a haunting, slimy mess. Consider this, how many spooks do you have to uncover to run away scared from this relationship? Boo! Lazy […]

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Friend Brags About Social Invitations?

Friend Brags About Social Invitations?

A friend of mine is a real social bug and gets invited to everything. I’m ok with that except that she always has to talk about all the parties and events she’s been to until it leaves me feeling left out and unpopular. We’re not in high school anymore so why do I care? No one likes to feel left out, but your friends’ behavior does sound juvenile. If she persists in talking about all the fun she’s having where you weren’t invited have you tried changing the subject? Or telling her that you don’t want to hear about her partying? Or minimizing the time you spend with this friend? Most people instinctively take cues from others in conversation, but this person seems to lack basic social awareness. That, or she is so self-absorbed that she always has to be the center of attention. True friends are people we enjoy hanging out with, not those who leave us feeling upset. You ask why you care, yet it seems natural to feel left out when you don’t get invited, no matter your age.  Instead of dwelling on the negative feelings this evokes, try instead being more proactive with making new friends and hosting some of your own get-togethers.  There is such a thing as “taking your turn” when it comes to socializing.  It takes work, preparation and money to host a party.  Maybe taking your turn at host is long overdue? Keep a positive mindset and this awareness may be just the jump-start your social life has been needing! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What does this friendship mean to you? How does this friendship fulfill you and make you happy? How comfortable are you with your social life? Have you thought that you should expand your circle of […]

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Work with Ex?

Work with Ex?

My work situation involves being around my ex-boyfriend and working closely with him. We ended on bad terms, and it’s awkward to be around him. How do I relieve that tension? It is reasonable to expect that you won’t relieve the tension. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but I’m sure that if I tried to give you some sure-fire way to make these awkward feelings go away you would know, in your psyche, that I was just spouting off some BS! Falling in love is all about opening our hearts to let someone else in. When you do this, you place yourself in a position of being emotionally vulnerable. This vulnerability is the basis for the hurt of a breakup and the tension you now feel post-breakup. The fact that you can work at all with your Ex is a testament to your professionalism. While at work, keep your focus on the task at hand; monitor your thoughts and try to keep them on work and off the relationship muck; don’t let on that being around him bothers you (even if it does). If those things don’t help you can always show him up on the job, outperform him and go for the promotion so you can be his boss and fire his arse! Yeah! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What works to calm you in tense situations? How can you incorporate your self-calming methods in to your work situation? Do you feel the need to further process the hurt of this broken relationship? What has helped you heal from past broken relationships? What does “accept the things you cannot change” mean to you? Are there things you can do to help accept that healing a broken heart takes time? The Joan Jerkovich Show News […]

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Low Self-Esteem?

Low Self-Esteem?

Ever since I was young, I have had this message running through my head that “I’m not good enough”. When I look at all I have accomplished and the person that I am, I realize that this message isn’t true. What can I do to improve my self-esteem? Thank you for this question because I get so many Life Coaching callers who tell me that they believe the mistakes they’ve made in life, the poor choices they have made, resulted from their low self esteem. When they recognize this fact, this is always a solid starting point to change the perceptions they espouse in regard to themselves. One habit that is often revealed in their calls, is that they constantly talk down to themselves. Often, I hear them say that the things they say to themselves in their head they would NEVER say to anyone else! One caller named his self talk(er) his inner Bully! Self-talk is key to self-esteem. Change your negative self talk to positive by first becoming aware of what you say to yourself, about yourself, via your private iTunes Playlist running through your mind. One way to recognize negative self-talk is to notice feeling down, upset, discouraged, or frustrated. When that “icky” feeling hits, slow down enough to listen to what you are saying to yourself. Once you recognize your negative self-talk try these strategies: scold it, talk back to it, shut it down or tune it out. On the positive: replace it with positive comments, affirmations and self-praise. Don’t play that~but I must be humble~game with yourself here! You deserve to tell yourself how incredible, amazing, superhuman and superdivine you are! It is Our honor to share this space on earth with You!! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What strategy will you implement […]

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Husbands Affair Leaves Lasting Health Problem?

Husbands Affair Leaves Lasting Health Problem?

My husband had an affair four years ago. Traumatic to say the least yet, we worked through the betrayal. But, I have a lasting affect that I cannot eliminate. And, I’m reminded daily when I look in the mirror. My husband made the mistake of not protecting himself so got Chlamydia. We took bouts of antibiotics. Unfortunately,this triggered an autoimmune response for me. I lost my hair. It grew back, but only 40%. I look like a cancer patient. It destroyed my self-esteem, my beauty, my ability to be employed. When I send out my resume, I get quick responses because I worked for top tier investment banking firms and for recognized CEO’s and CFO. With every job interview, I’m asked at the end, questions concerning health issues such as, “Do you have any disabilities that would prevent you from doing this job?” They note that I have no eyebrows, that I wear a wig and I’m young. I dropped my salary in half and still cannot get a job. After sixteen interviews, I finally gave up. I know that I will never be able to enter this field again. They believe I’m hiding something that would be a liability for them but I’m not. Now, I’m on a new journey. I decided to reinvent myself. I’m taking classes to become a realtor and in four weeks, I will be taking my State exam. I’m so afraid that I will never be hired by buyers and sellers of homes. I only wish that the world understands that I have much to offer, that being productive defines me and my beauty is within. So, how do I truly forgive when I can’t forget an event that I’m reminded of daily when I look in the mirror? The betrayal of an affair leaves scars. It will always leave […]

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Angry Over Dad’s Affair?

Angry Over Dad’s Affair?

I’m in high school and my Mom and Dad got divorced a year ago because my Dad had an affair. I’m so mad at my Dad for doing this to my Mom. Things have been really hard for her. I know I should want to spend time with my Dad but I don’t. We’ve not been close since this all happened and I feel sad and angry that I’ve lost what I used to have with my Dad through all this. I especially have a hard time visiting Dad when his girlfriend is around. They live together so it’s hard to see him and not her but seeing her always reminds me of what they both did to my Mom. Will things ever get better with my Dad and how do I get over being angry with him? Tough stuff, but life does at times hand us challenges that seem almost insurmountable. It is sad that your Dad chose to cheat on your mother. Even though divorce can be hard, it is more so when you have this betrayal to deal with. Three things come to mind as you work to repair the damage that was done to your relationship with your Dad. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Focusing on your life. Acceptance of what is, can often be the hardest thing we have to do. You can’t change what has happened. Life isn’t fair. People don’t always consider how their actions will hurt others. You can’t go back to the way things were when all was good in your family. You have no choice but to accept that your parent’s relationship ended in this difficult way. In moving toward acceptance find things that help you. Is there a saying you can repeat in your head that helps? Does it help to journal […]

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Family Vacation Tensions?

Family Vacation Tensions?

How do you deal with a family vacation where part of the family want to lie on the beach all day and the other part want to see the sights? …and your problem is?? Yes, this is a family vacation where your expectation may be that you spend time together, but do you feel that you have to spend every second of every day together? I’m sure that this rarely happens in your daily lives back home! You’re on Vaca so try to be flexible, chill, relax, let go, and leave your inner bossy boss at home. Isn’t this why you planned this getaway? Let each individual enjoy their vacation in their own way. We are not cookie cutter people who all want the same thing even when we are genetically related. The adults can split up for part of the day and let the kids choose whom they’d like to do things with. Older kids will be happy to have some of the same freedom away from you that they enjoy at home. Don’t sweat it! You will still be spending most of your time together as a family, and people will be happier when they’re not being pushed to do things they don’t want. Personally, I don’t understand why a college kid would want to sit inside watching sports on TV while in Hawaii…but, we left him behind and had a superb day at the beach boogie boarding, snorkeling and swimming with the endangered sea turtles! He enjoyed his day…and so did we! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • If you don’t want to split up your family activities for the day, what other options for compromise (such as taking turns deciding what activity you get to do) can you employ to keep the peace on […]

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Grow Christian Company?

Grow Christian Company?

My husband and I have been working to grow our Christian Production Company where we do plays, cartoons and write scripts for movies. Everyone who sees our work thinks it’s really great but our problem is that we lack the finances to get more people to see what we do. How can we build this business to the point of making money? Every business needs an investment of capital (money) to grow to its full potential. The old saying, “It takes money to make money” holds true in the business arena. Entrepreneurs who are trying to launch their business from a grass roots level, from their garage or kitchen table (so to speak), don’t always realize that even multimillion dollar companies frequently have to go back to their investors for an infusion of money to grow. In the realm of big business raising capital is as slick as it sounds involving “Venture Capitalists”, “Private Equity”, “Seed Funding” and “Angel Investing”…big names for the ways big businesses find funding. Take a note from the big company playbooks and consider ways to raise the “seed” money to nurture your sapling of a business…draw up a professional, well-researched business plan and present it to potential investors. (Be mindful of The US Securities and Exchange Commission regulations.) Find the people who believe in your vision for your company and want to be a part of it! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • How is your business conducive to raising money from outsiders? • What proven track record, for business success, can you present to potential investors to assure them that you are a serious businessperson? • Before your drag other people on board, how willing are you to personally “go down with the ship” if you fail? • How much of your […]

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