Archive for the Life Coaching Category

How do you deal with a family vacation where part of the family want to lie on the beach all day and the other part want to see the sights? …and your problem is??  Yes, this is a family vacation where your expectation may be that you spend time together, but do you feel that you have to spend every second of every day together?  I’m sure that this rarely happens in your daily lives back home!  You’re on Vaca so try to be flexible, chill, relax, let go, and leave your inner bossy boss at home.  Isn’t this why you planned this getaway?  Let each individual enjoy their vacation in their own way.  We are not cookie cutter people who all want the same thing even when we are genetically related.  The adults can split up for part of the day and let the kids choose whom they’d like to do things with.  Older kids will be happy to have some of the same freedom away from you that they enjoy at home.  Don’t sweat it!  You will still be spending most of your time together as a family, and people will be happier when they’re not being pushed to do things they don’t want.  Personally, I don’t understand why a college kid would want to sit inside watching sports on TV while in Hawaii…but, we left him behind and had a superb day at the beach boogie boarding, snorkeling and swimming with the endangered sea turtles!  He enjoyed his day…and so did we! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ If you don’t want to split up your family activities for the day, what other options for compromise (such as taking turns deciding what activity you get to do) can you employ to keep the peace on vacation?

The tornado in Oklahoma has really affected me, especially the loss of children, and I’d like to donate to the cause but my husband doesn’t think this is necessary.  He got so angry just talking about this that I’m not sure if I should just forget donating.  I’ve always been the one who wants to help others, but he’s just not that way.  What should I do? I say screw him and shame on his selfish, self-centered attitude!  While that is my gut response to your question (I know it sounds harsh), I understand that you may not be able to take this stance and keep the peace in your marriage.  Marriage is a partnership, and both you and your husband deserve the right to spend a portion of the family money on the things and causes that are important to each of you.  Does your husband spend money on things just for himself?  Does he spend money on things you don’t agree with?  What I hear from couples works best is if each person has a set amount of money out of the monthly budget; that they can spend without their spouses approval.  If you could negotiate this strategy for spending, then you could donate from your monthly discretionary income.  I hope that you can successfully negotiate having some of your own spending money otherwise, to be honest, I have concerns about the health and mutuality of your relationship.  Thank you for your generous spirit.  The world needs more people like you! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ In what way might your husband be open to negotiating you having your own money to spend in any way that you like? Where do you and your husband agree with how the family money is to be spent? Where

I’ve tried to raise my own family in a positive environment but whenever I’m with my parents and extended family all they do is sit and talk poorly about the family members who aren’t present.  They’re so critical I don’t like to have my kids around them.  How do I protect my kids from their negativity? First of all, I’m sure you realize that you’re not going to change your family of origin.  You’ve been witnessing and living this negativity your whole life and that may be the reason you’re focused on keeping things positive with your own children.  Kudos to you!  It’s never too late to change negative patterns! Depending on the ages of your children, you have a few options here.  When they’re small you can probably distract them away from the grown-up conversations.  As they get older, they may choose to join in on the adult conversation, which means they will get an earful of negativity.  The good thing about older kids is that they are aware enough, and mature enough, to understand the differences in the way people act, and re-act, around others.  This can be a good opportunity to teach your older children that, in life, we all have to learn how to deal with negative people.  We have to develop strategies for either minimizing our time with them or minimizing the impact they have on our lives.  Others may choose to be negative, but we always have the choice of how to act, and how to re-act.  The choice is ours and within our control.  To quote from the film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade…”Choose Wisely!”. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What life lessons can you teach your children as they witness the exchange of negativity in your family? Is there

My husband spends so much time on the Golf course I feel like he’s neglecting his duties as a father and husband.  How can I get him to spend more time with us and less on golf? Balance.  That’s the first word that came to mind when I read your question.  I’m a big believer in that we all need our leisure activities, our friends and hobbies, but if the balance of time we spend with others really does neglect our family…or is perceived to be neglecting our family…then we have a problem.  Maintaining a good relationship requires good negotiation skills.  Both parties need to get their needs met, but they should not look solely to their partner to meet those needs.  This is where negotiating with your husband for what you want and need comes in to play. First, I suggest that you honor him by accepting his passion for golf.  Let him know that you support him in spending time with activities that make him happy.  If that sounds like a hard thing for you to do, start by looking at the things you do that he’s not crazy about but has to accept in relationship with you.  You know, girlfriend, that he’s got his list too!!  Also, make sure that you are living your best life and not depending on him to satisfy something that you feel is missing inside you or in your life.  That said, if he is not being a true partner to you, bring on your Power Woman and go after what you need.  Get it?  Got it!  Good!! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How do you show your husband that you honor his independence and leisure time away from you and the kids? Only you know what works with your