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Archive for the Life Coaching Category

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~ Low Self Esteem?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~ Low Self Esteem?

Ever since I was young, I have had this message running through my head that “I’m not good enough”. When I look at all I have accomplished and the person that I am, I realize that this message isn’t true.  What can I do to improve my self-esteem? Thank you for this question because I get so many Life Coaching callers who tell me that they believe the mistakes they’ve made in life, the poor choices they have made, resulted from their low self esteem.  When they recognize this fact, this is always a solid starting point to change the perceptions they espouse in regard to themselves.  One habit that is often revealed in their calls, is that they constantly talk down to themselves.  Often, I hear them say that the things they say to themselves in their head they would NEVER say to anyone else!  One caller named his self talk(er) his inner Bully! Self-talk is key to self-esteem.  Change your negative self talk to positive by first becoming aware of what you say to yourself, about yourself, via your private iTunes Playlist running through your mind.  One way to recognize negative self-talk is to notice feeling down, upset, discouraged, or frustrated.  When that “icky” feeling hits, slow down enough to listen to what you are saying to yourself.  Once you recognize your negative self-talk try these strategies:  scold it, talk back to it, shut it down or tune it out.  On the positive: replace it with positive comments, affirmations and self-praise.  Don’t play that~but I must be humble~game with yourself here!  You deserve to tell yourself how incredible, amazing, superhuman and superdivine you are!  It is Our honor to share this space on earth with you!! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What strategy will you implement

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Spouse Disagrees with Donation for Tornado?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Spouse Disagrees with Donation for Tornado?

The tornado in Oklahoma has really affected me, especially the loss of children, and I’d like to donate to the cause but my husband doesn’t think this is necessary.  He got so angry just talking about this that I’m not sure if I should just forget donating.  I’ve always been the one who wants to help others, but he’s just not that way.  What should I do? I say screw him and shame on his selfish, self-centered attitude!  While that is my gut response to your question (I know it sounds harsh), I understand that you may not be able to take this stance and keep the peace in your marriage.  Marriage is a partnership, and both you and your husband deserve the right to spend a portion of the family money on the things and causes that are important to each of you.  Does your husband spend money on things just for himself?  Does he spend money on things you don’t agree with?  What I hear from couples works best is if each person has a set amount of money out of the monthly budget; that they can spend without their spouses approval.  If you could negotiate this strategy for spending, then you could donate from your monthly discretionary income.  I hope that you can successfully negotiate having some of your own spending money otherwise, to be honest, I have concerns about the health and mutuality of your relationship.  Thank you for your generous spirit.  The world needs more people like you! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ In what way might your husband be open to negotiating you having your own money to spend in any way that you like? Where do you and your husband agree with how the family money is to be spent? Where

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Elderly Hoarder?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Elderly Hoarder?

My elderly Aunt has never had children so she is looking to me for help.  My problem is that when I went to her home I discovered that she’s a hoarder.  Her house isn’t as bad as those ones you see on TV, but it’s really a mess.  I love her to pieces and want to help clean her house, but I’m not sure I have the time to help with this big of a project.  How do I support her while not getting overwhelmed myself? Blessings to you for your willingness to help!  Do you know how many people would just walk away from this situation?  Too many to count!  You’re on the right path to helping most effectively when you realize your own limitations and the boundaries that you need to set in this challenging situation.  If you let this overwhelm you, you’ll most likely come to resent your Aunt, and that’s not what she needs from any of her family as hoarding is often a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that benefits from Mental Health Care. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve always thought it would be fun to tackle a hoarding house…I told you I was crazy! J I’m a big project person.  I like a challenge!  I like to take a big project that seems overwhelming and devise strategies for breaking the work down into smaller parts.  Then, I like being the captain that rallies the troops and directs the charge that brings all to victory!  Yeah!  Devise a strategy for cleaning up the house, break tasks down into manageable and attainable goals, bring in the help that you need and direct the troops.  I salute you El Capitan!  Victory awaits you! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What plan do you have

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Negative Family?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Negative Family?

I’ve tried to raise my own family in a positive environment but whenever I’m with my parents and extended family all they do is sit and talk poorly about the family members who aren’t present.  They’re so critical I don’t like to have my kids around them.  How do I protect my kids from their negativity? First of all, I’m sure you realize that you’re not going to change your family of origin.  You’ve been witnessing and living this negativity your whole life and that may be the reason you’re focused on keeping things positive with your own children.  Kudos to you!  It’s never too late to change negative patterns! Depending on the ages of your children, you have a few options here.  When they’re small you can probably distract them away from the grown-up conversations.  As they get older, they may choose to join in on the adult conversation, which means they will get an earful of negativity.  The good thing about older kids is that they are aware enough, and mature enough, to understand the differences in the way people act, and re-act, around others.  This can be a good opportunity to teach your older children that, in life, we all have to learn how to deal with negative people.  We have to develop strategies for either minimizing our time with them or minimizing the impact they have on our lives.  Others may choose to be negative, but we always have the choice of how to act, and how to re-act.  The choice is ours and within our control.  To quote from the film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade…”Choose Wisely!”. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What life lessons can you teach your children as they witness the exchange of negativity in your family? Is there

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Texted through Dinner Out?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Texted through Dinner Out?

What is the proper way to tell someone that you don’t like them texting all through dinner when you’re out together? Take your pick of things you can say and do in this situation. Use the “Direct” approach: • That’s rude ! Who taught you manners? • Are you going to text all through dinner? • I don’t like it when people text through dinner. • Could you please hold your texting until after dinner? • I guess I don’t count here since you’re ignoring me? • Does that text you’re sending matter more to you than spending time with me? • Do you know that I refuse to go on a second date with someone who texts while we’re out? Or, you can use the “Passive” approach: • Ignore their texting • Don’t bother confronting it if it really doesn’t bother you Or, you can use the “Indirect, Passive Aggressive” approach: • Do more texting than they are • Make sure they have to wait for you to finish texting to get your attention I don’t recommend the Passive Aggressive approach, but do what makes sense to you. In some groups, such as teenagers, texting when out together is the norm and to be expected. Only you can decide how to handle this situation! Text me when you figure it out! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • What approach makes sense to you? • Are you willing to gracefully accept the consequences of which ever approach you take? • What is the standard for the group you hang out with? Texting or no texting? • What are your personal standards for when you’re out alone with someone? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other! Joan Jerkovich is a Board

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Husband Neglecting Family for Golf?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Husband Neglecting Family for Golf?

My husband spends so much time on the Golf course I feel like he’s neglecting his duties as a father and husband.  How can I get him to spend more time with us and less on golf? Balance.  That’s the first word that came to mind when I read your question.  I’m a big believer in that we all need our leisure activities, our friends and hobbies, but if the balance of time we spend with others really does neglect our family…or is perceived to be neglecting our family…then we have a problem.  Maintaining a good relationship requires good negotiation skills.  Both parties need to get their needs met, but they should not look solely to their partner to meet those needs.  This is where negotiating with your husband for what you want and need comes in to play. First, I suggest that you honor him by accepting his passion for golf.  Let him know that you support him in spending time with activities that make him happy.  If that sounds like a hard thing for you to do, start by looking at the things you do that he’s not crazy about but has to accept in relationship with you.  You know, girlfriend, that he’s got his list too!!  Also, make sure that you are living your best life and not depending on him to satisfy something that you feel is missing inside you or in your life.  That said, if he is not being a true partner to you, bring on your Power Woman and go after what you need.  Get it?  Got it!  Good!! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How do you show your husband that you honor his independence and leisure time away from you and the kids? Only you know what works with your

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~You’re Not Invited?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~You’re Not Invited?

A friend of mine is a real social bug and gets invited to everything.  I’m ok with that except that she always has to talk about all the parties and events she’s been to until it leaves me feeling left out and unpopular.  We’re not in high school anymore so why do I care? No one likes to feel left out, but your friends’ behavior does sound juvenile.  If she persists in talking about all the fun she’s having where you weren’t invited have you tried changing the subject?  Or telling her that you don’t want to hear about her partying?  Or minimizing the time you spend with this friend?  Most people instinctively take cues from others in conversation, but this person seems to lack basic social awareness.  That, or she is so self-absorbed that she always has to be the center of attention.  True friends are people we enjoy hanging out with, not those who leave us feeling upset. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What does this friendship mean to you? How does this friendship fulfill you and make you happy? How comfortable are you with your social life? Have you thought that you should expand your circle of friends and social activities? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other! Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show! Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com  

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Crush on Gay Friend?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Crush on Gay Friend?

My gay guy friend would be my perfect guy to marry except that…he’s gay!  He’s good-looking (we would make beautiful babies together), smart, fun and has a good job.  When we go out for dinner I dress up and pretend we’re on a date.  I know there’s no hope for a relationship with him because he’s not, even a little bit, bi-curious. I can’t help but have a crush on him…should I tell him?  Life just isn’t fair is it?  It seems that we can expand that saying of, “all the good ones are married” to “all the good ones are gay!”  Both are, of course, exaggerations! You ask if you should tell him about your crush, yet, don’t you think he already knows this? He may be gay but he’s still a guy and I’m sure you aren’t the first girl to crush on him or at least flirt with him.  Right?  The problem with being a Fag Hag is that you’re into guys…but so is he!  Soooo, of course you’re going to react to his cuteness and coolness and think he’s perfect~but it will never work to come on to him in a sexual or romantic way~and it may destroy the good friendship you do have.  Enjoy your one-of-a-kind special friendship.  Many women would love to have a gay bestie…myself included! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What would be gained in your relationship if you tell him about your crush? How do you nurture the unrealistic fantasy that you are “THE Woman” who can change your friend’s sexual preferences? How does that fantasy serve you; or not serve you? Does crushing on your gay friend keep you from finding real love?   Copied from urbandictionary.com: You Are A True Fag Hag If…  -You are a straight girl

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Build Christian Company?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Build Christian Company?

My husband and I have been working to grow our Christian Production Company where we do plays, cartoons and write scripts for movies.  Everyone who sees our work thinks it’s really great but our problem is that we lack the finances to get more people to see what we do.  How can we build this business to the point of making money? This question was paraphrased from one of my Life Coaching radio show callers; so listen to the call for additional ideas on growing a business. -LINK HERE- Every business needs an investment of capital (money) to grow to its full potential.  The old saying, “It takes money to make money” holds true in the business arena.  Entrepreneurs who are trying to launch their business from a grass roots level, from their garage or kitchen table (so to speak), don’t always realize that even multimillion dollar companies frequently have to go back to their investors for an infusion of money to grow.  In the realm of big business raising capital is as slick as it sounds involving “Venture Capitalists”, “Private Equity”, “Seed Funding” and “Angel Investing”…big names for the ways big businesses find funding.  Take a note from the big company playbooks and consider ways to raise the “seed” money to nurture your sapling of a business…draw up a professional, well-researched business plan and present it to potential investors. (Be mindful of The US Securities and Exchange Commission regulations.)  Find the people who believe in your vision for your company and want to be a part of it! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ How is your business conducive to raising money from outsiders? What proven track record, for business success, can you present to potential investors to assure them that you are a serious businessperson? Before your

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Friend as Business Partner?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Friend as Business Partner?

I’ve started a new home business and it has finally started to take off to where I can’t keep up with filling orders.  My good friend has been looking for work and has proposed the idea of us going in to partnership together.  I’ve already laid a lot of the groundwork for the business and am not sure about taking on a partner versus hiring an employee.  I’m also not sure about working with a friend.  What do I need to consider here? First, list all the things you need help with.  If the primary thing you need help with is to fill orders, this is not the job of a business partner; this is the job of an employee.  If you would like to subspecialize within your business, then you may want to consider bringing on a partner.  The business partnerships that work the best are the ones that compliment each other, such as, you like managing the production and distribution side of things and your partner likes managing the administrative and sales side of the business. That said, you should carefully consider how your two personalities mesh.  A business partnership is akin to a marriage in the complexity and commitment it takes to keep it running smoothly.  Also, a true business partnership takes both of you having some “skin in the game”, meaning, you both invest capital monies toward expenses, equipment etc.  I’ve had more than one person want to “partner” with me in business that had no intention of bringing any money to the table; and they wanted to take home a regular paycheck to boot!  I call those people employees, not partners.  Finally, if you do go in to partnership with your good friend, be prepared to lose the friendship if things go sour.  It can

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