Empowering Talk Radio

Archive for the Relationships Category

Going From Straight to Gay

Going From Straight to Gay

It’s more complicated than you might think. Prompted to delve in to this issue by my caller Antonio, whose wife of 15 years left him for another woman, the issues of leaving a straight relationship for a same sex one, are complex. Antonio was blindsided, and understandably hurt when his wife suddenly left him for her female lover. At the time, he was working three jobs to support her and their three children. So, what factors are at play when a spouse decides to leave their heterosexual relationship for a gay relationship? The differences between the sexes in this situation are vast. The Men. When men decide to venture outside of their heterosexual relationship, research supports the notion that they are simply acting on a basic homosexual attraction that has always been part of who they are. That may not be what you wanted to hear, but it is generally agreed that homosexual attractions never change and may grow stronger over time. For men, homosexual attractions always were and always will be. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 7% of men have sex with men, but gay men are estimated to comprise about 4% of the population. So, what’s up with the missing 3%? A 2006 study of gay men, published in the “Annals of Internal Medicine” indicated that nearly 10% of men in New York City who were surveyed identified themselves as straight, but, had sex exclusively with men! What? There’s that missing 3%! This same study found that nearly 10% of married men had experienced sex with another man in the preceding year. What’s going on here? Well, for men who have lived a predominantly heterosexual life, coming out gay is complex. In addition, many of them don’t see themselves as “gay”. Many of

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Dropping Out of School-Who Drops Out, Consequences, Help for Parents; Illegal Unpaid Internships

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.25.14/10.25.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Characteristics, Consequences of Dropping Out of School @ 0:00 Curfew After College @ 7:50 Caller Wants to Dropout @ 23:21 Dropouts, Help For Parents @ 42:11 Motivated 15 year old @ 44:58 Illegal Unpaid Internships @ 59:55 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Wife Won’t Have Sex?

Wife Won't Have Sex?

My wife and I have been married for 13+ years. As of 4 years ago, all physical relations stopped. She says she loves me but not in that way. Help please. Your question makes me sad. If expressing your love sexually within your marriage is important to you, but your wife has shut you out, she needs to realize that this expression of love is as important to your relationship as hugs, kisses, sharing your paycheck, raising your children and making a life and home together. Ask her how she would feel if you told her you still love her, but not in the way that leaves you feeling like you need to get up and go to work each day to help support her and the family? Assuming you fulfilled your role as the responsible, faithful husband for 13+ years, would she agree to your stopping being responsible and faithful? Have you put in your time, and done enough in this relationship, that you are now at liberty to shut down and shut her out of the things that she values in your marriage? I should hope not. While one might think this is only a man’s problem, there are also husbands who have no desire for sex. I’ve heard from both women and men who’ve struggled with a spouse who shut down sexually. Statistically, about one man to every five women will not have an active libido. In the battle of the sexes, women are most likely to use sex to catch a man and to have children, only to shut down once those feats are accomplished; and men often withhold sex if they are using it as a controlling (abusive?) tactic, or they lack libido due to drug abuse, or they have depression or other health problems.

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Fiancé’s Girlfriend Dictating Wedding Plans?

Fiancé’s Girlfriend Dictating Wedding Plans?

After 5 years of dating, my girlfriend and I are finally getting married. She’s had a girl pal that is almost always whispering in her ear. I get the feeling her friend is making large requests and decisions about our upcoming wedding. We both would prefer a smaller ceremony but my fiancée has been making unusual choices regarding the food, band, venue, and so on that I fear is just her friend influencing her. I mean, do we need a 12-piece Mariachi band or multiple chocolate fountains and ice sculptures? I love my fiancée so much but she can be a bit susceptible to suggestion. How can I help her realize that we should have this wedding on our own terms, and within our comfort zone? Talk, talk, talk to her. Communicate. Get in her ear and make sure that your voice comes through louder and clearer than her girlfriend’s opinions on what sort of wedding you’re going to have. Wedding planning is one area where I totally side with the couple. Totally. Girlfriends, sisters, mothers, and wedding planners, the list of meddlers can be a long one, especially if your fiancé is prone to letting people make decisions for her. Everyone can have an opinion on what sort of wedding you should have, but the only ones that count are those of you and your fiancé. I’ve watched enough of those “Say Yes to the Dress” shows where the bride comes out beaming in a dress that she loves, only to be shot down with rude and insensitive comments from her posse that includes her mother, sister or overly dictatorial bridesmaid. Often, their vision for her wedding is that she choose a gargantuan, tooled-out, blinged-out, princess gown where her style is sleek and understated. Or vice versa. The bride

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Unplug, Rest for a Day; People Who Give too Much; Take a Staycation

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.18.14/10.18.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Judgmental Toward Friend Who Does Too Much @ 0:00 Friend Mothers Whole Family @ 3:58 Social Giving Affecting Real Life @ 20:02 Give too Much, Unplug for the Day @ 35:40 Take a Mental Break @ 44:55 Take a Staycation @ 1:01:54 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Famous People Who Were Once Homeless; Poor and Homeless; Take Personal Responsibility

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.11.14/10.11.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Take Personal Responsibility @ 0:00 Unappreciative Squatters @ 5:14 Poor, Lived in Tent @ 22:07 Hold Onto Hope @ 43:03 Living in Car-Keep Fighting @ 44:55 Famous People Who Were Once Homeless @ 1:01:32 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Can Exes Have Non-Sexual Friendships?

Can Exes Have Non-Sexual Friendships?

Once you’ve had a sexual, intimate relationship with someone, can you just be friends? Here are the answers I gleaned from the people I polled at the radio station and local coffee shop: “Hell No”, male radio personality #1 “It would be difficult”, male radio personality #2 “Yes, that could work, depending on the personalities”, male radio personality #3 “Yes, of course”, female radio co-worker “If a guy says yes, he’s only bullshitting you, or he might be part-gay”, jokingly stated in reference to male radio personality #3, by a male radio person who never lacks for an opinion! Another female radio co-worker and I had this conversation: Joan: Do you have non-sexual friendships with your exes? Co-worker: Yes, I am friends with all my exes. Joan: So, you don’t have sex? Co-worker: No. Joan: Would your exes have sex with you if, in a night of drunken abandon, you gave the OK? Co-worker: For sure. Joan: What percentage of your exes would “hit it” with you? Co-worker: 100% HA! Just as I thought!! Heading in to the coffee shop downstairs from the radio station, I garnered more comments on the subject. There, I polled three men and one woman. “Yes, I am friends with all my exes”, male hottie who later said he’d just gone through a difficult break-up. Maybe his comment doesn’t count? “Yes, I even know a man who lived with and supported an ex and her seven kids. None of them his own as he was sterile. And while he was a sexual person, he never again had sex with his ex-wife after she first got pregnant by someone else”, retired gentleman who’s seen and heard it all. “Sure they can. I’m friends with all my exes”, random dude who quickly left, probably wondering who this

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Lipstick Lesbians Misunderstood; Relationship Rebound; After the Romance-Is Friendship Possible?

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.4.14/10.4.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Relationship Rebound @ 0:00 Friends After Romance, Part 1 @ 4:24 Companionship Without Sex, Part 2 @ 22:00 Relationship Advice 42:18 Men Come on To Beautiful Lesbians @ 44:59 Lipstick Lesbians @ 59:23 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Beautiful, Girly-Girl Lipstick Lesbian says “Men Won’t Leave Me Alone”

Beautiful, Girly-Girl Lipstick Lesbian says “Men Won’t Leave Me Alone”

Marsella just wants respect. Yes, she’s a lesbian and comfortable in her own skin, but because she’s a beautiful, girly-girl lipstick lesbian, men won’t leave her alone. When she goes out with her straight female friends she doesn’t dress like a boy. That’s not her style. So, men will hit on her because she’s attractive and, shall we say, doesn’t look gay? Her femme style doesn’t scream lesbian, but why should it? Doesn’t she have the right to dress as she likes? The men hit on her, and when she tells them she’s gay she hears them say things like, “Are you sure?” or “Are you all the way gay, or are you Bi?” or “You’re too cute to be gay”. She says it sometimes gets comical when, after telling them five times she’s not interested, the guys still keep trying to come on to her. But then, at times things get creepy and annoying especially with the “creeper guys”, as she calls them, who won’t take “no” for an answer. She tries to be nice and not hurt their feelings because she doesn’t like confrontation. But, sometimes she feels like she’s being mean by rejecting the men she is not, and never will be, romantically interested in. Marsella’s story sends a powerful message for all women, straight or gay. If you’re not interested in a man’s advances, stand your ground. It is your right to say “no”. Don’t go inward and feel like you’re being “mean” for rejecting them. This is just the way the game of romance is played. Live stream Marsella’s story on “The Joan Jerkovich Show” Saturday 10.4.14 @6am CST on News Radio 1150 KSAL, or listen to the podcasts “Men Come On To Beautiful Lesbians” and “Lipstick Lesbians” which post Mondays @ JoanJerkovich.com The Joan

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Triggering Old Wounds of Abuse

Triggering Old Wounds of Abuse

In my last relationship, I was involved with an abusive man who did drugs and was generally crazy. Recently I had a co-worker, for no reason, talk to me in such an angry, vicious way that it triggered the old feelings of abuse. How do I keep this from happening again? The triggering of old emotional wounds can set you on a downward spiral. You don’t mention how long ago the abuse was, but judging by your reaction, I would say that you were deeply affected by this mistreatment. I’m truly sorry this had to happen to you! Moving beyond abuse can take years, or for some, a lifetime… That said, there are things you can do to minimize those sad, angry, unwanted hurtful feelings when someone mistreats you. First, ask around about this co-worker. I’d place money on the fact that this person has a habit of treating others just like you were treated. Unless you frequently get this type of response from co-workers, know that the problem is not yours~they are the ones with the problem! Other things you can do are build-up your self-esteem by involving yourself with activities, experiences and friends that you find affirming. Do an online search for information on recovering from abuse and building self-esteem. Find the things that make the most sense to your recovery and personal growth, and make them a routine part of your self-care. If you find that things you can do on your own don’t give you the relief you want, schedule an appointment with a licensed counselor. Don’t give up on making this better for yourself…my heart goes out to you. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • Assuming you reported this co-worker to your supervisor, how can you minimize your interactions with them? • What

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