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Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 2)

Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 2)

My husband has gotten himself in to trouble with drinking, and I know he’s been trying to curb the habit, but we recently were at a party with family and friends where he was getting sloppy and loud. It made me want to pack up and go home early. He knows his drinking too much makes me mad, so at the party he was sneaking around with his gang of drinking buddies, and they were hitting it hard, downing shots and chugging everything they could get their hands on. I could see trouble brewing from the corner of my eye, but I never know whether to leave him be or go over to him and try to get him to stop drinking or slow down. I don’t want to be the nagging, controlling wife, but I know he usually regrets his behavior the next day once he’s sober. Should I help him monitor his drinking at parties or not? He’s having a fun time thinking he’s being witty and charming or the life of the party. You’re sitting off to the side feeling embarrassed. You see him slurring his words and stumbling around the room. His drink is sloshing around and people are dodging him so they don’t get showered with liquor on their nice party clothes. You notice how the sober people at the party are laughing at him, or looking at you with pity. You wonder how you’re going to get him home without his puking all over the car. Should you help him monitor his drinking at parties? That depends. First, what does he have to say about his drinking? Has he asked for your help? Does he want you to be the booze police? Understandably, if you’re going to have a conversation with him about his

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Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 1)

Husband’s Party Drinking? (part 1)

My husband has gotten himself in to trouble with drinking, and I know he’s been trying to curb the habit, but we recently were at a party with family and friends where he was getting sloppy and loud. It made me want to pack up and go home early. He knows his drinking too much makes me mad, so at the party he was sneaking around with his gang of drinking buddies, and they were hitting it hard, downing shots and chugging everything they could get their hands on. I could see trouble brewing from the corner of my eye, but I never know whether to leave him be or go over to him and try to get him to stop drinking or slow down. I don’t want to be the nagging, controlling wife, but I know he usually regrets his behavior the next day once he’s sober. Should I help him monitor his drinking at parties or not? Your man has a drinking problem. You know it. He knows it. Now is the time to get serious and look at what can be done about it. I’ve said before I have great compassion for people who have trouble with substance abuse. Like any addictive process, whether it is too much shopping, or golf, or working, or video gaming; throw in to the mix a chemical substance and it’s a game changer when it comes to curbing the problem or trying to stop. The first step toward addressing your problem is to ascertain how serious your drinking is. According to the NIAAA, National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, here’s the test to determine your risk: Men at risk for a drinking problem drink more than 4 drinks on any single day AND more than 14 drinks total per week.

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Fighting Fair; Communication in Relationship; Affair with Ex and How To End It

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/8.9.14/8.9.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Why People Have Affairs @ 0:00 Relationship Limbo After Affair with Ex @ 6:50 Online Flirtations, Angry Over Affair @ 21:52 End Affair with Ex @ 41:15 Fighting Fair in Relationships @ 45:08 Entrepreneur and Interns @ 52:33 Communication in Relationship @ 1:11:45 Keeping Score @ 1:29:21 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Tell Girlfriend About Depression?

Tell Girlfriend About Depression?

I’m in a new relationship wondering when is a good time to tell my girlfriend of one month that I have depression. I don’t know how to approach this new relationship because I had a past bad experience with my ex girlfriend. My ex had lots of issues with her father’s depression, mostly because he couldn’t keep jobs. When I had trouble getting a job, she passed this issue she had with her Dad on to me. She tried to get me to make promises about working and keeping a job. It was like she projected her issues with her Dad in to our relationship. She knew that I also have depression. Eventually she broke up with me. Now, I’m in a new relationship wondering when to tell my new girlfriend about my depression. Because of my past relationship history where my girlfriend broke up with me, I don’t want to mess this up. It takes two to tango, doesn’t it? Your story, my dear friend, seems to reek of an ex girlfriend who was entangled in issues with Dear Ole Dad. Those were her issues. Think about it. If her Dad’s illness created instability in her childhood, it would make sense for her to freak out over your not having, or keeping a job. Trying to get you to make promises you couldn’t keep was probably her way of trying to control a situation that made her anxious and harkened back to a past that was unsettling. Again, more of her stuff with Dad coming through. On the other hand, I could also see her thinking that getting in to another relationship with a depressed person as “been there”, “done that”, and “not going to go through that again”. Her breaking up with you may have just been that

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Negative Self-Talk; Positive Thinking; Sexual, Workplace Harassment; Effects of Low Self Esteem

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/7.19.14/7.19.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Sexual Harassment @ 0:00 Low Self-Esteem @ 7:30 Workplace Harassment @ 25:44 Low Self-Esteem Effects Relationships @ 42:04 Stop Negative Self Talk @ 45:01 Improve Your Life Using Positivity @ 48:38 He Called Joan “Wonderful”! @ 1:08:16 Key to Positivity @ 1:28:14 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Mistress Stories; Depression in Relationships; Go From Dating To Just Friends

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/7.12.14/7.12.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Mistress Intrudes on Family Vacations @ 0:00 The Mistress Part 1 @ 7:31 The Mistress Part 2 @ 25:31 Cheaters and Cell Phones @ 43:33 Depression Affects Relationships @ 44:58 Friends After Breakup @ 49:11 When to Tell Girlfriend About Depression @ 1:09:02 Go From Dating To Just Friends @ 1:28:43 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Porn Addiction; Avoiding Women; Leave Your Toxic Job

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/7.5.14/7.5.14Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Excuses Used to Avoid Women @ 0:00 Addicted to Porn @ 8:23 Using Porn to Avoid Girls @ 26:32 Porn Stats @ 43:56 Clues You’re in Toxic Job @ 45:02 Leave Toxic Job, Part 1 @ 50:17 Leave Toxic Job, Part 2 @ 1:09:45 What’s New with The Joan Jerkovich Show! @ 1:28:11 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Hospice of Salina Bennington State Bank Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Peaceful Body Wellness Retreat Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center     The Joan Jerkovich Show   News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am CST   Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions   Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Passive-Aggressive Tactics are Cowardly, Lily-livered and Chicken-hearted

Passive-Aggressive Tactics are Cowardly, Lily-livered and Chicken-hearted

If you ever find yourself on the receiving end of a passive-aggressive attack, it may leave you scratching your head wondering if the attack was intentional, or a reasonable mistake. Maybe they just haven’t gotten around to responding to your email? Or they forgot? Or their comment to you wasn’t meant to be cutting and critical, it was just a poor choice of words where you misperceived what they said. What one sign will point you to the fact that you are dealing with a passive-aggressive person? They repeat this type of behavior. We all step in do-do on occasion. We have all been known to say dumb-shit stuff we regret later. But, the passive-aggressive isn’t making mindless mistakes; their actions are calculated and intentional. The hallmark of a passive-aggressive attack is that it is intentionally indirect and intentionally covertly delivered. It is the cowardly, lily-livered and chicken-hearted way of addressing an issue. This is the attack that sneaks up on you from behind. Yes, it can be shrouded in fancy words or slight-of-hand actions, but it will still hit you hard like a gut punch. But here’s where it gets tricky, because the mask of passive-aggressive has many shapes and colors. Get ready for this parade of go-to-favorites most commonly used by this personality type: procrastination, forgetfulness, rumor mongering, indirect criticism, outright sabotage, silent treatment, intentional obstruction and inefficiency, stubbornness, neglect, victimhood, argumentative, general negativity. Have you heard enough or do you want a scholarly opinion? Author Dr. Sam Vaknin writes that “passive-aggressiveness has a lot in common with pathological narcissism: the destructive envy, the recurrent attempts to buttress grandiose fantasies of omnipotence and omniscience, the lack of impulse control, the deficient ability to empathize, and the sense of entitlement, often incommensurate with its real-life achievements.” So what do

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Failed Relationships?

Failed Relationships?

Why do I have so many failed relationships?* You ask why? Here are some possible reasons, and I’m guessing you will find your answer in more than one of these. Too Hot and Fast. A fire that burns too hot will burn out fast. The same often goes for the romance that runs on speed dial. The foundation of true connection didn’t have time to smolder and lay a base of deep coals to keep the fires burning. Fairy Tales are for Books, Not Relationships. If you start hearing yourself say your new love is perfect, it’s time for your Fairy Godmother to wave her magic wand and wake you up from your dream. We all have our flaws and it’s better to wake up to that fact early in your relationship before you get a dog, house and kid together. Some flaws you can live with, some you can’t. The Mask Comes Off. It takes about six months for a person to let their guard down and take the mask of social charm off. Only then will you see the real person hidden beneath the mask. Then the character flaws and personality quirks show up, and the true nature of your true love makes its appearance. When the mask comes off, put on your reading glasses and take a good hard look at whether or not this relationship it right for you. Ghosts and Goblins. Once you step inside a new relationship, you might find hiding in the closet the ghosts and goblins that will haunt you. These are the ghosts of unresolved emotional baggage such as a traumatic past relationship or traumatic childhood that remains a haunting, slimy mess. Consider this, how many spooks do you have to uncover to run away scared from this relationship? Boo! Lazy

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Friend Brags About Social Invitations?

Friend Brags About Social Invitations?

A friend of mine is a real social bug and gets invited to everything. I’m ok with that except that she always has to talk about all the parties and events she’s been to until it leaves me feeling left out and unpopular. We’re not in high school anymore so why do I care? No one likes to feel left out, but your friends’ behavior does sound juvenile. If she persists in talking about all the fun she’s having where you weren’t invited have you tried changing the subject? Or telling her that you don’t want to hear about her partying? Or minimizing the time you spend with this friend? Most people instinctively take cues from others in conversation, but this person seems to lack basic social awareness. That, or she is so self-absorbed that she always has to be the center of attention. True friends are people we enjoy hanging out with, not those who leave us feeling upset. You ask why you care, yet it seems natural to feel left out when you don’t get invited, no matter your age.  Instead of dwelling on the negative feelings this evokes, try instead being more proactive with making new friends and hosting some of your own get-togethers.  There is such a thing as “taking your turn” when it comes to socializing.  It takes work, preparation and money to host a party.  Maybe taking your turn at host is long overdue? Keep a positive mindset and this awareness may be just the jump-start your social life has been needing! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What does this friendship mean to you? How does this friendship fulfill you and make you happy? How comfortable are you with your social life? Have you thought that you should expand your circle of

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