Empowering Talk Radio

Archive for the Relationships Category

Mistresses, Cheaters, Non-Judgemental Friends

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/10.5.13/10.5.13Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Mistress Intrudes on Family Vacations The Mistress Part 1, @ 7:50 The Mistress Part 2, @ 25:45 Cheaters and Cell Phones @ 43:42 Supportive Friend @ 44:49 Stop Judging Friends @ 60:55 Brought to you by: Hospice of Salina Martinelli’s Little Italy Girls Scouts Dignity Care Home Protandim LifeVantage Bennington State Bank George Jerkovich Photography Circles of the Heartland Stiefel Theatre Smokey Hill Museum

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Annoying Co-Worker?

Annoying Co-Worker?

I work in an office with a co-worker who has the bad habit of chewing gum loudly and popping it.  She works in the cubicle next to mine and does this constantly.  It has become so annoying I need to make it stop.  What should I do? You can choose to either address this yourself or turn it over to your manager who gets paid the big bucks to deal with these petty issues, such as: the stinky co-worker; the co-worker who’s always trying to sell you their kids’ fundraiser crap; or the co-worker who joins the office pool for take-out Starbucks, only to stiff you on the bill…well, maybe that one you should handle yourself! If you choose to address a co-worker nuisance yourself, gauge what you think will be the best way to do that.  From what you know about this co-worker, would it be better to address them directly or indirectly.  The direct approach is to simply tell them that their gum popping is distracting you from your work.  Ask them to stop. Be nice and give them your best fake smile.  Or, use one of the following indirect approaches such as leaving a note on their desk or sending them an email.  Or, tell their immediate supervisor to address this issue for you.  The beauty in having their supervisor address this is that they can leave your name out of it.  I guarantee you that if this bad habit is annoying to you, it is also annoying to your other cubicle mates.  Chomp, chomp, pop, pop, take this bull by the horns and make it stop! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ Where will you find the resolve to address this issue? What might cause you to put up with this annoying habit one more

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Old Friend has Changed?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Old Friend has Changed?

Recently I ran in to an old friend that, years ago, I used to have crazy fun with!  She was a blast to hang out with!  When I saw her I couldn’t help but think that something is really wrong in her life because her whole face looked different to me.  I couldn’t put my finger on it but she looked sad, or beat down and so unhappy.  The change I saw in her has been haunting me.  What do you think has happened to my old friend? Maybe it’s the nurse in me, but I can almost instantaneously see in someone’s eyes and facial expression their sadness and pain, or, happiness and joy. I have no doubt that your instincts were right~that your old friend has had some pretty rough stuff happening in her life.  Abuse, illness, stress, and depression are but a few of the things that could be going on with your friend. Speaking specifically of abuse, I’ve known women who were being abused and mistreated have their complete countenance change.  I’ve seen them go from smiling, happy, funny and light-spirited to withdrawn and despondent.  Physical and mental illness or stress can also show itself to us in the changes you mention.  I recently saw a photo review of how the faces of combat veterans changed from when they first went in for service to after they had been deployed for some time.  It was strikingly sad to see the changes in them just looking at a picture of their faces. If you have the opportunity to reach out to this old friend, please do so.  You never know, your reaching out may be throwing her a life preserver.  I say this because I once had an acquaintance (hesitantly) do this for me.  Her instincts were spot

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Texted through Dinner Out?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Texted through Dinner Out?

What is the proper way to tell someone that you don’t like them texting all through dinner when you’re out together? Take your pick of things you can say and do in this situation. Use the “Direct” approach: • That’s rude ! Who taught you manners? • Are you going to text all through dinner? • I don’t like it when people text through dinner. • Could you please hold your texting until after dinner? • I guess I don’t count here since you’re ignoring me? • Does that text you’re sending matter more to you than spending time with me? • Do you know that I refuse to go on a second date with someone who texts while we’re out? Or, you can use the “Passive” approach: • Ignore their texting • Don’t bother confronting it if it really doesn’t bother you Or, you can use the “Indirect, Passive Aggressive” approach: • Do more texting than they are • Make sure they have to wait for you to finish texting to get your attention I don’t recommend the Passive Aggressive approach, but do what makes sense to you. In some groups, such as teenagers, texting when out together is the norm and to be expected. Only you can decide how to handle this situation! Text me when you figure it out! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • What approach makes sense to you? • Are you willing to gracefully accept the consequences of which ever approach you take? • What is the standard for the group you hang out with? Texting or no texting? • What are your personal standards for when you’re out alone with someone? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other! Joan Jerkovich is a Board

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~You’re Not Invited?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~You’re Not Invited?

A friend of mine is a real social bug and gets invited to everything.  I’m ok with that except that she always has to talk about all the parties and events she’s been to until it leaves me feeling left out and unpopular.  We’re not in high school anymore so why do I care? No one likes to feel left out, but your friends’ behavior does sound juvenile.  If she persists in talking about all the fun she’s having where you weren’t invited have you tried changing the subject?  Or telling her that you don’t want to hear about her partying?  Or minimizing the time you spend with this friend?  Most people instinctively take cues from others in conversation, but this person seems to lack basic social awareness.  That, or she is so self-absorbed that she always has to be the center of attention.  True friends are people we enjoy hanging out with, not those who leave us feeling upset. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What does this friendship mean to you? How does this friendship fulfill you and make you happy? How comfortable are you with your social life? Have you thought that you should expand your circle of friends and social activities? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other! Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show! Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com  

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Crush on Gay Friend?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Crush on Gay Friend?

My gay guy friend would be my perfect guy to marry except that…he’s gay!  He’s good-looking (we would make beautiful babies together), smart, fun and has a good job.  When we go out for dinner I dress up and pretend we’re on a date.  I know there’s no hope for a relationship with him because he’s not, even a little bit, bi-curious. I can’t help but have a crush on him…should I tell him?  Life just isn’t fair is it?  It seems that we can expand that saying of, “all the good ones are married” to “all the good ones are gay!”  Both are, of course, exaggerations! You ask if you should tell him about your crush, yet, don’t you think he already knows this? He may be gay but he’s still a guy and I’m sure you aren’t the first girl to crush on him or at least flirt with him.  Right?  The problem with being a Fag Hag is that you’re into guys…but so is he!  Soooo, of course you’re going to react to his cuteness and coolness and think he’s perfect~but it will never work to come on to him in a sexual or romantic way~and it may destroy the good friendship you do have.  Enjoy your one-of-a-kind special friendship.  Many women would love to have a gay bestie…myself included! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What would be gained in your relationship if you tell him about your crush? How do you nurture the unrealistic fantasy that you are “THE Woman” who can change your friend’s sexual preferences? How does that fantasy serve you; or not serve you? Does crushing on your gay friend keep you from finding real love?   Copied from urbandictionary.com: You Are A True Fag Hag If…  -You are a straight girl

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Friend as Business Partner?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Friend as Business Partner?

I’ve started a new home business and it has finally started to take off to where I can’t keep up with filling orders.  My good friend has been looking for work and has proposed the idea of us going in to partnership together.  I’ve already laid a lot of the groundwork for the business and am not sure about taking on a partner versus hiring an employee.  I’m also not sure about working with a friend.  What do I need to consider here? First, list all the things you need help with.  If the primary thing you need help with is to fill orders, this is not the job of a business partner; this is the job of an employee.  If you would like to subspecialize within your business, then you may want to consider bringing on a partner.  The business partnerships that work the best are the ones that compliment each other, such as, you like managing the production and distribution side of things and your partner likes managing the administrative and sales side of the business. That said, you should carefully consider how your two personalities mesh.  A business partnership is akin to a marriage in the complexity and commitment it takes to keep it running smoothly.  Also, a true business partnership takes both of you having some “skin in the game”, meaning, you both invest capital monies toward expenses, equipment etc.  I’ve had more than one person want to “partner” with me in business that had no intention of bringing any money to the table; and they wanted to take home a regular paycheck to boot!  I call those people employees, not partners.  Finally, if you do go in to partnership with your good friend, be prepared to lose the friendship if things go sour.  It can

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Confident in Conversation?

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Confident in Conversation?

Some people think I’m a know-it-all. I’d really like people to be impressed with my knowledge and I get a lot of self-confidence from this. How can I come off interesting in conversation and keep my confidence? People are pretty quick to spot the “blow hard” in conversation. The person who does a lot of talking but has little to say and what they do say is of questionable truth. Those people usually get tuned out in conversation. When you say people think you’re a know-it-all, I’m going to assume that you do know what you’re talking about and do have a vast knowledge on many different subjects. Personally, I like having conversations with people like you. On occasion, I join a group at our local coffee shop that hosts one Grand Master “blow hard” conversationalist and one know-it-all who really does know a lot about everything and was even a contestant on Jeopardy!. They both get chided for their conversation styles but neither is dissuaded from sharing in the group. Both are confident in who they are. Confidence comes from within, and when you bolster it you will more easily accept the differences you see in yourself and those you see in others. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • What do you assume other people think of you as a conversationalist? • What have others said to you about being a know-it-all? • How will you separate the facts of what people have said about you and the fiction you may be creating in your head? • How can you monitor your self-talk and assumptions when you get the feeling that people are judging you? • What activities bolster your confidence and how can you incorporate more of those in to your life? Please SHARE this on

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Friend didn’t call for 6 Months?

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach~Friend didn't call for 6 Months?

I kept trying to call and text my friend for 6 months and he would never get back to me. I was worried about him because I know he sometimes get really depressed, plus I knew he’d just lost his job. He finally called with lame excuses, lost his phone, etc.  I think his drinking may be part of this but I’m not sure I still want him for a friend. We all need and want friends like you! His loss if he just threw your friendship away like this! Few friendships can survive this type of “dropping off the face of the earth”, especially when his absence put you through so much anxiety over his well-being.  You may care more for his welfare then he does and I think your concerns about his drinking and depression point to the crux of the issue. We can be there for our friends, but if they don’t want our help there’s nothing we can do for them. Decide how much of your heart you want to put back in to this friendship. It’s been trampled with his inconsiderate, intentional absence, so decide for yourself if you want to continue to reach out or let him come to you. Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ What does your heart tell you to do with your friend? How do you sometimes put yourself out for friends to the detriment of your own well-being? How has your friend shown signs of wanting or needing your friendship to help him deal with his depression and drinking, if at all? What does staying tapped in to this friendship mean to you personally? What would walking away from this friendship, or distancing yourself, mean to you? Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we

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Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Friend’s Husband Cheating

Joan Jerkovich "Your" Life Coach~Friend's Husband Cheating

My best friend’s husband is cheating on her.  I’ve never liked the guy and suspected he could do something like this, but now I have proof.  He’s such scum, I’m so disgusted with him.  I know she’ll be crushed when she finds out, but should I tell her?  I know she doesn’t know.  This is a challenging question and I’m going to invite commenters to jump in with their opinions…here goes my best attempt… Short and sweet, the answer to should you tell her is “No”.  Believe it or not, some women don’t want to know that their husbands are cheating.  Maybe they sense that something is wrong, but aren’t ready to hear the truth.  Maybe they don’t like sex and have an understanding that their husband will have his dalliances and she will look the other way.  Across the ages, married women have “allowed” their husbands to have mistresses, so long as he continues to support her and the children financially.  Personally, I say kick him to the curb, but to each his own… My opinion to not tell may be skewed, because I had this very situation years ago with one of my best friends.  I’d been hearing from her about her husband and his girl-friend.  My red-flag intuition went up, but she seemed to have no concerns over their “friendship” and seemed to almost be encouraging this relationship (my friend didn’t like to have sex with her husband).  Then, I had the occasion to see her husband and his girl-friend at a party.  My friend wasn’t there with her husband and I witnessed this woman flirting all over him and sitting on his lap!  I promptly told my friend what I saw and to this day I don’t think she wanted to hear it.  I felt she

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