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Archive for the Relationships Category

Identify And Manage A Passive Aggressive Personality

Identify And Manage A Passive Aggressive Personality

If you ever find yourself on the receiving end of a passive aggressive attack, it may leave you scratching your head wondering if the attack was intentional, or a reasonable mistake. Maybe they just haven’t gotten around to responding to your email? Or they forgot? Or their comment to you wasn’t meant to be cutting and critical, it was just a poor choice of words where you misperceived what they said. What one sign will point you to the fact that you are dealing with a passive aggressive person? They repeat this type of behavior. We all step in do-do on occasion. We have all been known to say dumb-shit stuff we regret later. But, the passive aggressive isn’t making mindless mistakes; their actions are calculated and intentional. The hallmark of a passive aggressive attack is that it is intentionally indirect and intentionally covertly delivered. It is the cowardly, lily-livered and chicken-hearted way of addressing an issue. This is the attack that sneaks up on you from behind. Yes, it can be shrouded in fancy words or slight-of-hand actions, but it will still hit you hard like a gut punch. But here’s where it gets tricky, because the mask of passive aggressive has many shapes and colors. Get ready for this parade of go-to-favorites most commonly used by this personality type: Procrastination Forgetfulness Indirect criticism Outright sabotage Silent treatment Intentional obstruction and inefficiency Stubbornness Neglect Victimhood Argumentative General negativity Have you heard enough? Or do you want a scholarly opinion? Author Dr. Sam Vaknin writes that “passive-aggressiveness has a lot in common with pathological narcissism: the destructive envy, the recurrent attempts to buttress grandiose fantasies of omnipotence and omniscience, the lack of impulse control, the deficient ability to empathize, and the sense of entitlement, often incommensurate with its real-life achievements.”

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Why Friendships Fade; Grieving End Of Childhood Friendship; Tips For Surviving Lost Friendship

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/8.22.15/8.22.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Why Friendships Fade @ 0:00 Grieving End Of Childhood Friendship, Part 1 @ 5:36 Grieving End Of Childhood Friendship, Part 2 @ 23:27 Tips For Surviving Lost Friendship @ 42:48 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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Scary, Old-time Addiction Treatments; Why People Get Addicted; Gay Marriage; Transgender Issues

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/8.8.15/8.8.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: Creepy, Scary, Old-time Addiction Treatments @ 0:00 Gay Marriage, Transgender Issues @ 8:22 Addiction Treatments Today @ 22:52 Why People Get Addicted @ 43:36 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!  

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Wife Struggles With Husbands Addiction?

Wife Struggles With Husbands Addiction?

My husband has recently gotten his addiction to alcohol and pills under control. He’s following his recovery program but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him. He has all this support but I need support too. Any help? You do need support, and you deserve support. When you are in a relationship with an addict your life can feel like it’s not your own. An addiction can pervade every area of your life and your relationship. Just because your husband is newly sober or in recovery, all the problems his addiction created don’t magically go away. Darn. Wish they did? While I’m sure you’re happy that he has started down the road to recovery, do you feel like you’re expected to throw up a resounding cheer of praise while showering him with an “atta boy” or “good for you”, even though you resent that he took you down the road of addiction to begin with? Do you harbor resentment over what his addiction did to your relationship and family? Has he come around to being a true partner now that the drugs and alcohol are under control, or are you still the one holding things together? Has his recovery taken away all of his character flaws, such as lying? One opinion I have about addicts is that when you live with an addict, you live a life of lies. Lying about their drug use is part and parcel to their denial of how bad their addiction is. They lie to you and they lie to themselves. This is tough stuff. For help, cultivate your own support systems. Find a support group, supportive friends, counselor or pastor who will help you through this new way of sober living. Take care of your needs while you support your husband with

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He Saves-She Spends, Marital Money Issues?

He Saves-She Spends, Marital Money Issues?

The biggest arguments my husband and I have are over spending. I like to spend and he likes to save. I grew up in a family where my Dad spoiled me and I got everything I ever wanted. Sometimes I wish this were not the case because I know this has set me up for the number one stress my marriage of 27 years has had. Will this bickering over spending ever get resolved? Maybe before we hit our 50th anniversary? You may think you’re asking a question, but I think you’re telling all of us a beautiful love story! I’m sure you know the answer to your own question, which is to say that “no” you will never stop bickering with your husband over money. After 27 years of relating to each other in this way, neither of you are going to change. One marriage research project I read found that every long-term marriage has that thing (or those things) that they bicker about until “death do us part”. The issue never gets resolved (a key point to take note of…) and couples are good to not expect it to. Yet, over time, they find their own way of staying connected in spite of their differences. Ahhh…feel the love? I do! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • Has the way that the two of you bicker about money changed much in the past 20 years? • If not, why would you want to change things now? • If the bickering has escalated, are there other stresses in your marriage besides money? • What is your pattern for coming back together after disagreements? • How can you shorten the time you spend cussing and discussing, and get down to the business of reconnecting? Do you fight over money

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Rules For Dating Multiple Girlfriends At Once; How One Man Manages 4 Girlfriends

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/6.27.15/6.27.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: 9 Rules To Make Multiple Relationships Work @ 0:00 One Man’s 4 Girlfriends, Part 1 @ 6:40 One Man’s 4 Girlfriends, Part 2 @ 23:16 6 Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Multiple Women at Once @ 42:45 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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9 Dangerous Clues That Your Boyfriend’s Female Friend Is MORE Than “JUST A FRIEND”

9 Dangerous Clues That Your Boyfriend's Female Friend Is MORE Than "JUST A FRIEND"

Even if your boyfriend has reassured you over and over again that his female friend is “just a friend”, there may be clues that their relationship skirts the danger zone of becoming something more. 1. He talks glowingly about her When he talks about her, you see his eyes glaze over with the look that you thought was reserved just for you. It’s the look your man gave you when you first met and fell in love. If you see that starry look in his eyes when he talks about her, danger may be lurking. 2. He runs to her with his problems You’re his girlfriend, and you expect to be his number one support person, yet, you find him calling her when issues arise. If he turns to her for emotional support, when he should be leaning on you, continue to watch for other disturbing clues. 3. He looks for opportunities to hang out with her…alone…without you If there’s always something that the two of them have to do together, alone, keep a watchful eye on their behavior. The reasons they may give you for their alone time could be to say that this is their friend thing, or that they’ve always done this together, and you can join them next time. There may be a next time, or there may not, but don’t be blindsided by a dramatic turn in your relationship where you find yourself alone…again and again. 4. You find her stuff in his apartment This is where your boyfriend tells you that he’s storing her things at his place because she ran out of storage space at her apartment. He may be just helping a friend out, but, beware if he’s helping “store” her pink toothbrush in his bathroom! 5. He’s there for her when

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Dangerous Attraction To Married Man?

Dangerous Attraction To Married Man?

I’m really attracted to my babysitter’s husband to where I think about cheating on my husband with him. I find reasons to pick the kids up late hoping that he’s home from work and I can see him and talk with him. He’s like my fantasy guy. He’s given me no clue that he’s interested in me so why do I keep crushing on him? Is it because my marriage isn’t great? What would life be without our fantasy men and women? What woman hasn’t had a crush on some hot celebrity? What man hasn’t had fantasies about Selena Gomez or Rihanna (Maxim’s Hot 100 #2&3)? Read from my blog archives about my personal fantasy crush back in the “Magic Mike” days. My newest muses are Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth….oh, I digress to such pleasurable thoughts…but on with your question… Seriously, having a celebrity crush that we all know is unattainable does not carry the danger of crushing on a married man you see on a regular basis. While there is no harm in finding someone attractive, when it gets to the point of obsessing about them, or changing your daily routine for a “chance” encounter, then you’re right to start questioning what is going on in your life. Yes, my guess is that you have allowed this crush to commandeer your thoughts because you are not getting your needs met in your marriage. Duh-you didn’t need to hear that from a Board Certified Life Coach, that’s common sense. A good solid relationship allows for those celebrity crushes and infatuations, and poses no harm. A relationship where your emotional and physical needs are not getting met is at risk for an affair. Don’t get too wrapped up in why you’re crushing on this guy, just acknowledge that you are

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Friendships Need Boundaries; What Are Boundaries; Why We Need Boundaries; How to Set Boundaries

http://joanjerkovich.com/podcasts/6.20.15/6.20.15Podcast.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSSPodcast Segments: What Are Healthy Versus Unhealthy Boundaries? @ 0:00 Student Making Career Decisions @ 4:56 Student On Setting Boundaries With Friends @ 23:42 How To Set Boundaries With Consequences @ 43:04 Brought to you by: Martinelli’s Little Italy Dignity Care Home Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers Sunflower Carpet One Preventative Medicine Center Sunflower Bank The Joan Jerkovich Show News Radio 1150 KSAL with Live-streaming Saturdays @ 6am & Sundays @ 9pm CST Click HERE to send Joan your Life Coaching questions Join the conversation and post your respectful comments anonymously. We learn from each other!

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4 Tips For Stepparents Who Are Dealing With Behavior Problems

4 Tips For Stepparents Who Are Dealing With Behavior Problems

My stepson has ADD, but his mother doesn’t want him on medication so I have to put up with his bullshit. It’s affecting our marriage. Any advice? This one is tough as there are a lot of parents who don’t believe in medicating their children (for various reasons) and your wife sounds strong in her belief. First, do you feel that you have adequate information from which to make the decision to medicate or not? I tell people that you can always find an “opinion” on the Internet that will “fit” your belief in what you should (or should not) do, but that doesn’t make the information accurate or reliable. That said, you need to first agree on what resources for information on managing ADD you will use to base your decisions on. That can be anything from the Medical Pediatric Associations, Behavioral Therapists, the local Shaman, Nutritionist or Energy Healer. Believe me, when it comes to health, people have strong opinions on what methods to use and to this I say…do what works for you! After you gather the information, you can begin the process of discussing with your wife a plan for making your home life more peaceful. This will most likely focus on treatment for his ADD and management of behavioral issues. If you have issues with your stepson’s behavior, try these 4 steps for making your home life more peaceful for all of you: Together, with your wife, set up specific and clearly defined house rules. Together, present the rules to your children. Decide on consequences for breaking the rules. Administer the consequences, together, as a united front. As you tackle this issue, honor the fact that your stepson’s mother has the final say in how her child will be treated both medically and behaviorally in your home. Work with your

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